zorah

Just asking for support. I'm just under four months of sobriety. I'm in AA, found great early a.m. meetings about 5 mins from my apartment. Have a sponsor. But last week i got real slippery. Got feeling really down and depressed and lonely and resentful. I dogwalk on the weekends and found a pantry full of my favorite stuff; the temptation was overwhelming and would've been irresistible were it not for the program. but i could feel myself pulling away from meetings and not caring.



I'm kind of scared right now cuz I just got back on a good track with my boss and am starting to fix things and now it looks like i'm treading water. I made myself go to the early a.m. meeting which i know is a good start. i was exhausted but i got there.

please keep me in your prayers ok? thanks so much all....

Zorah

Delilah1

Good for you for recognizing things were getting slippery. You are almost at four months, that is a huge accomplishment!

Hang in there.

sothisisit

You have a sponsor. Be smarter than me and many others; when you are looking into a pantry full of alcohol, phone your sponser or someone supportive. That is what they are there for. Even if you feel you can handle it, the mere fact that you had feelings about it justify a phone call. People who don't have drinking issues wouldn't have even blinked at it being there.

If I had taken that simple advice I would have saved myself from so much grief and would have been on the path of sanity so much earlier.

dogmamma

You are in my prayers. I had a similar issue crop up for me this past weekend. I'm still working through it, but praying and being on this board helped me so much. Please check and let us know how you are doing.

*hugs*

SkylerTime

Hi, Sending good vibes your way! Keep your head up.

duane1

I am at 6 months and have struggles on some days. I can only say that you should just try to get through the hard days by taking it one day at a time. If you sense you are going to have a bad day, just do everything possible to get through the day. Things always seem to look better the next morning.

MIRecovery

Unfortunately we do not live in an alcohol free world. I am can deal with things when I am ready for them but when taken by suprize I am vulernable. You did the right thing you did not drink and you talked to another alcoholic. I believe to be bothered by it is completely normal. Just stay strong and connected. You may wish to drop that customer if at all possible.

Anna

Zorah, I'm sending good thoughts my way.

One thing I thought while reading your post is that I used to sabotage myself when I had worked hard and things were looking good in my life. Deep down, I didn't believe I deserved a good life and I felt more comfortable failing, rather than succeeding.

Be very proud of how much you've accomplished and know for sure that you deserve all the best in your life.

zorah

You all are so kind. Thank you. Early sobriety...well there's just nothing easy about it. I think that's been the best about SR and also F2F meetings. Otherwise I would just think it's me. I'm about to go to the gym and do a yoga class which should put me in a good mental space. Then maybe some t.v. and pooch time. What would I do without my DOG? I ask myself that so many times. His name is Zorro. He's a tan pitbull who likes to lean on my shoulder and give me a facial. He's number one on my gratitude list and probably always will be....well, until he dies (an event I can't even think about) and God sends my next canine teacher.

Blessings,

Zorah

ru12

I wish you the best zorah! Hang in there and keep focused on not drinking in this moment.

Sapling

Sending you prayers for willingness zorah....The solution...Is the steps.

Thepatman

Thinking of you also in this difficult time.

JJay

Finding some of your favorite stuff and not drinking it is HUGE. You should be really proud of yourself Try to stay strong. Try to take your mind off of drinking any way you can.

Dee74

Sometimes the things that are best for us are hardest to do Zorah - our addictive side loves nothing better than inaction...

keep reaching out and asking for help - you're worth it - & noone does this alone Zorah

D

tomsteve

prayers yer way for strength courage and wisdom!

yes, gettin sober aint easy. stayin sober is. keep on trudgin and this,too, shall pass.

remember what the BB says about resentment?

debsam

Love the honesty, love the way you layed out the original post...love your self awareness.

You my friend, are very inspiring.

Keep at it Zorah....sending love & strength your way