sophiasunshine

Hi there

I have decided to try again now, I am looking forward to a good week.
Wondering if any here could give me some good suggestion how to stay positive? mind-strong? What works for you??

Sophia xx

hypochondriac

For me I forgive myself for not feeling positive. It is okay to have a bad day but you don't have to drink because of it. This might be obvious stuff for some, but I used to genuinely think that if I wasn't happy sober then I may as well be drunk. As if sobriety would be some kind of magic wand that makes everything better.

My only suggestion would be to let yourself go through the normal ups and downs but just don't drink. And get whatever support you need to help you through that. Have you been using anything to help you, AA or SMART, counselling?

Dee74

Welcome back

Support really works for me Sophia.
I spent a lot of time here - others spend a lot of time in meetings or counselling.

Don't be afraid to reach out - I don't think anyone can have too much support.

Don't be afraid to make changes in you life though - at least for a while - try and avoid social events where alcohol is...or make plans to handle things if you need to go to events, or to places where there might be alcohol like stores etc

Don't be afraid to spend a lot of time on your recovery in the beginning - whatever you put into your recovery you'll get back, with interest, Sophia

D

instant

It was feeling positive that usually led me back to drinking.

Understanding how to go back to it and having a plan for that helps.

Alternately you can trying surrendering to sobriety. It really does work once you "get it".

Tiredman

Agree with Instant.....it's easier to stop when you are remorseful....once you get your mojo back it gets harder.....luckily...and I say luckily...I only have issues with binging and self control so for me it's simply....and I say simply....a matter of not starting.....

It's still hard but it is a lot easier than many of the other stories I have heard but I have done it before and then thought I could control it....now I know I can't.....so that's the first step hey

sophiasunshine

Hi thanks for answers For me I drink when i feel good too, and its like I'm rewaarding myself with wine after a hard days work. Now I can relax, then I use it as "sleeping medication".. I always fall asleep early and sleep through the night.. I tend to get anxious at night time..Always had... And drinking reminds me of being young, free and again - not taking responsibility.. I am trying to pull myself togeter, avoid going to shop, trying to tell my man NOT to buy me wine at nights when he is coming home from office...

sophiasunshine

the hardest part for me is to accept - i cant have a normal life with wine included, i love being social. I rarely get really drunk, but its just too much wine in my life.

Tiredman

Doesn't sound too bad but then again I used to think that....now I know that it is the main problem in my life (I have a few) ....at least you recognize the problem now...very wise but make sure you act on it and stay honest.

hypochondriac

Not drinking reminds me of that Instead of drinking G&T in the evening I have ice cream! There are lots of simple pleasures that alcohol has probably made you forget about. I had to write a list in early sobriety of things I enjoy which weren't drinking because I often forgot. Drinking was my default setting for so long that I forgot what else to do. It really does feel like being 12 again sometimes. I actually enjoy stuff now.

charleesavedme

I love wine too. Love it. But, after 10 years of drinking it more and more until i was drinking at least a bottle a night, I got so sick of the hold it had over me. I also used it as a reward for a long day at work or a reward for anything. I'm trying to start thinking of myself as a nondrinker. When I think about wine, I just remind myself that I am now a nondrinker. I'm only 5 days in this time so at this point, only time will tell if I will make it this time, but I feel a lot more positive about it. Good luck.

MrsKing

This is so true for me, too, Hypo.

To make myself feel positive in the beginning I forced myself to look to a future in which alcohol would no longer have any part in and tried to picture myself as someone who didn't need alcohol, and more importantly, someone who didn't WANT alcohol. It took a while, but eventually I either convinced myself of that or it just came true by itself. The best thing about being sober is what Hypo has said, though... you'll come to realise that alcohol has stolen your pleasures from you and made you believe that it is your pleasure. Give yourself a good stretch of sobriety and you'll find that it's not pleasurable to live that way at all

Wishing you all the best x