My Boyfriend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1
My Boyfriend
Hi All,
I found this forum while researching the internet for information on what to do about the guilt I am feeling for not running to my boyfriend's aide...this time. I met my boyfriend four months ago, and we fell in love pretty fast. I didn't realize the extent of his alcohol problem, because we were wining and dining a lot, it being a new relationship, it seemed normal to be drinking more than usual. Since I have been with him he has been in the hospital twice. Last time his blood alcohol level was 4.5. After that, he stopped drinking for about three weeks. We got into an argument last week, and then he received some bad health news from the Dr. After that, he went on another bender. I can tell when this happens now, because he retreats from the world...no posts on FB etc. His family has been calling me for information, and I told them that I was not willing to take on the role as caretaker, and he was making his own destructive choices as a grown man. That being said, I am very worried about him, and have been feeling anxiety and mixed feelings. I so want to rush to his apartment to check on him, but feel like I have to protect myself and kids too. Another thing he does, is downplay the significance of what he has done, and think life should go back to normal, when he has put everyone he cares about through emotional turmoil. I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks for reading.
I found this forum while researching the internet for information on what to do about the guilt I am feeling for not running to my boyfriend's aide...this time. I met my boyfriend four months ago, and we fell in love pretty fast. I didn't realize the extent of his alcohol problem, because we were wining and dining a lot, it being a new relationship, it seemed normal to be drinking more than usual. Since I have been with him he has been in the hospital twice. Last time his blood alcohol level was 4.5. After that, he stopped drinking for about three weeks. We got into an argument last week, and then he received some bad health news from the Dr. After that, he went on another bender. I can tell when this happens now, because he retreats from the world...no posts on FB etc. His family has been calling me for information, and I told them that I was not willing to take on the role as caretaker, and he was making his own destructive choices as a grown man. That being said, I am very worried about him, and have been feeling anxiety and mixed feelings. I so want to rush to his apartment to check on him, but feel like I have to protect myself and kids too. Another thing he does, is downplay the significance of what he has done, and think life should go back to normal, when he has put everyone he cares about through emotional turmoil. I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Andrea)) - Welcome to SR, though sorry for what has brought you here.
I'm glad you are protecting yourself and your kids. It really is the best thing you can do. If he doesn't want recovery, he will continue on this downward spiral.
You may want to check out this forum - it's full of people who know exactly what you are going through.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm glad you are protecting yourself and your kids. It really is the best thing you can do. If he doesn't want recovery, he will continue on this downward spiral.
You may want to check out this forum - it's full of people who know exactly what you are going through.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
this is true. he has to want to change and he has to be the one to accept change.
glad you are not placing yourself between him and family as the caretaker or information post.
i would suggest thinking long and hard about what you are looking for in a relationship. 4 months is awfully quick as you pointed out but quick enough to detach as well.
if he isnt seeking help and is denying the severity of what is going on in his life...ask yourself if this iswhat you see yourself dealing with for months to years ahead.
glad you are not placing yourself between him and family as the caretaker or information post.
i would suggest thinking long and hard about what you are looking for in a relationship. 4 months is awfully quick as you pointed out but quick enough to detach as well.
if he isnt seeking help and is denying the severity of what is going on in his life...ask yourself if this iswhat you see yourself dealing with for months to years ahead.
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