Husband relapsed after 6 months of sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 15
Husband relapsed after 6 months of sobriety
My husband relapsed after 6 months sober. He was in a rehab for 3 months and then home 3 months. I am supportive but have to take care of myself and out son, 9yo.
Today I need suggestions on a plan to put in place should he return home. I am emotional and didn't see this coming (I know I am supposed to be mindful of signs of relapse) I am having a hard time thinking of realistic boundaries to put in place.
We had a plan should he relapse that only stated he would leave, then go to Detox (if necessary), not drive our son anywhere, and that was it. Now what is the question?
Today I need suggestions on a plan to put in place should he return home. I am emotional and didn't see this coming (I know I am supposed to be mindful of signs of relapse) I am having a hard time thinking of realistic boundaries to put in place.
We had a plan should he relapse that only stated he would leave, then go to Detox (if necessary), not drive our son anywhere, and that was it. Now what is the question?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Yourpowell,
You might want to check out the "friends and family" forum.
You are welcome everywhere, but there are some real wise heads there and a lot of collective wisdom.
Sorry about your husband. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for support for yourself.
Try an AlAnon meeting.
Great face to face support.
Your husband has to take care of his own recovery.
You take care of you.
You might want to check out the "friends and family" forum.
You are welcome everywhere, but there are some real wise heads there and a lot of collective wisdom.
Sorry about your husband. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for support for yourself.
Try an AlAnon meeting.
Great face to face support.
Your husband has to take care of his own recovery.
You take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 55
Wow. I thought it was tough dealing with my own lack of control and staying sober. When I read your post I thought how tough would that be? I have no idea what to do in that situation. You have shown me that the actions of a drunk effects everyone and really they need to deal with the crap....this helps me on my journey....thank you. I really hope things work out for you and your family.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: London
Posts: 122
Hi, I am very sorry to hear this. I was sober for just over 60 days and relapsed, drinking vodka last a week. Then a week sober and stupidly drank this weekend.
My wife has helped a lot on starting day 1 again. DAY 1 today. Rather than shout or give me stares, tut tuts
etc she has said well done! You have proven you can stop, and you did stop. You did 60 days and then a week! Stop again, learn the lesson, move on. I feel a THOUSand times better and I feel ready to stop again with this helpful attitude. How lucky am I!?
Your husband has done well. It is hard. He achieved 6 months, he can do it again, maybe longer this time, maybe for ever with the lesson learned.
He can start day one with your love and support. I wish you both the best of luck.
My wife has helped a lot on starting day 1 again. DAY 1 today. Rather than shout or give me stares, tut tuts
etc she has said well done! You have proven you can stop, and you did stop. You did 60 days and then a week! Stop again, learn the lesson, move on. I feel a THOUSand times better and I feel ready to stop again with this helpful attitude. How lucky am I!?Your husband has done well. It is hard. He achieved 6 months, he can do it again, maybe longer this time, maybe for ever with the lesson learned.
He can start day one with your love and support. I wish you both the best of luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I'm sorry for your situation.
I find boundaries hard too. It's my understanding that a boundary you make is to take care of you and your child. It sounds like your boundary to have your husband move out of the house as he relapses, and that seems like a good choice. My prayers are with you and your son.
I find boundaries hard too. It's my understanding that a boundary you make is to take care of you and your child. It sounds like your boundary to have your husband move out of the house as he relapses, and that seems like a good choice. My prayers are with you and your son.
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