Cykntyrd

This is my 10th day without a drink or drug...

First 7 days went fairly well. Minor urges that were fairly easily overcome. So easy that I almost convinced myself that since it was so easy I could probably have a drink because I wasn't dying for one. Pretty screwed up thinking I know.... but I held my ground and didn't give in to the AV.

On day 8 an incident occurred which has made me very angry, not only at another person, but at myself also.

My 12 year old daughter brought home a terrible report card that I wasn't expecting. It's my fault I was blindsided as the school system has a web site were I could have/should have been tracking her daily progress.

So I'm pissed at my kid and angry at myself for being such a lousy parent and really considered drinking to calm myself down.... but then remembered I could be a pretty angry drunk too. Regardless what my AV said drinking wasn't going to solve my problem. .

Any suggestions for dealing with anger or emotional upset that used to be treated with alcohol and other crap?

Thanks to all on this site!

Tiredman

Just have to remember that the anger is just a result of all the problems and the addiction.....it does get better and it does go away....push through it and you will come out the other end better and happier

OneSpark

Remember that adding alcohol only makes the emotional fire worse. You'll regret it in the morning and be even angrier with yourself. Don't throw away the sober days you've put together already. Emotions will never go away....but you can at least choose how you react to them.

soonerscooter

I also had/have some anger issues...to be honest, I don't even know why I was angry when I was using, after 13 days clean and sober, I had an epic anger meltdown, I wasn't allowed to enter a ballpark to watch my nephew play baseball due to past behavior, which I should've understood but just felt like I wasn't being given a chance to prove I could "behave"...so basically went batcrap crazy on the staff. I was so embarrased, I just started runnin through the parking lot to the street..before I knew it, I was 2 miles down the road and my head had cleared and anger was practically gone. Since I don't really have the money for a therapist, running has become my therapy, although not always practical, I've even run up and down stairs. My nephew calls me Forest Gump, I'd read/heard that some sort of physical exercise would help, and blew it off as bs. But, noe I know, it works for me..just a thought. Keep it cool man.

Rosiepetal

I find exercise, esp power walking rids some anger.

Zube

...came to belive that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity...

Step 2
Zube

awuh1

Typically anger has to do with our expectations about what will or should be the case. When the expectation is not met, anger is often the result.

The best model for parenting is to be a teacher. The best way to instruct is by example. Seems to me you both need to turn things around…… and you have a 10 day head start on her.

hypochondriac

It gets better Cykntyrd. I was really angry early on, but it soon became a bit pointless to get angry when I couldn't drink. I think before I allowed situations to wind me up because it gave me a good excuse to drink and I could say it was because I was stressed! Once I'd removed that option I automatically became calmer, in time anyway x

Oh and focussing on positive stuff helps too. I bet there was something good in your daughters report card..?

LSC1

I was a cranky mummy those first few weeks. Any form of exercise from a relaxing walk to lap swimming at the pool and even beach swimming helped me. If I didn't exercise I didn't sleep well. If I didn't sleep well ...I was a cranky mummy .... It gets better .... hang in there

nogard

Anger is our friend not our enemy, not a nice friend but a friend, apathy is our enemy. Use the energy of the anger to help you change things, just dont act on it.

freshstart57

I try to become aware of being angry at the time. Like 'Whoa, that's made me really steamed right now'. It goes away in a minute or two if I can then think, 'OK, I'm angry. What's next?'. Like, what about your little one? How is she feeling about this report card that made daddy so angry? What does she want to do about it? Thinking about someone else in the situation lets me direct my energy where it needs to go.

I should have been able to do this stuff when I was drinking, but there was zero chance of that ever happening. Sober, things like this seem to be easier to handle. I am more able to bring my 'natural self' forward now. I guess you could call it being mindful.

Cykntyrd

I'm going to save that quote.

I've too often turned my anger inwards and then tried to drown it.

Thank you.

Cykntyrd

Your right. I would have hated myself and still have the same issues to deal with.

Cykntyrd

The night I received her report card and the day afterwards all I could think about was how angry I was. It was my fault. I felt like a failure as parent. I was so disappointed in myself. I actually locked myself in my room and and cried, screaming with rage into my pillow. I didn't let her see that.

Today I was able to bring things into perspective. We took a long ride up the coast on my motorcycle and had lunch at seaside cafe. We discussed how we were going to change things this grading period, starting with the fact that I was going to keep a close eye on her schoolwork.

She was OK with that and promised me she would do better.

I know I will.

MesoFreak

Congrats on 10th day, I am finishing up my 7th day, and 10th has been my challenging so I know how hard being were you are is.

I am also trying to deal with anger issues and so far just avoiding anything that makes me angry works, lol. I need to figure this one out also. I think for me what would help is fighting: MMA, judo, etc. Something about fighting relaxs me.

Cykntyrd

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
-- Siddhartha Buddha