FindingErica

This is my personal contract with myself, that I came up with with the help of therapy, church and this group, among other things. I dont always follow it yet but I think it is a good start:

Contract with Myself:

1.) I will take all these things to God.

2.) I will make no decisions out of fear, insecurity or self loathing.

3.) If I want to change something about MY life it is my responsibility to change it.

4.) If I don't like the way someone is treating me, it is my responsibility to put up healthy boundaries

5.) I own my actions and reactions, I am not a victim nor am I responsible for others behaviors.

6.) I will accept that I am worthy of God's best for me.

GardenMama

Now this is a contract worth signing, Erica! And it shows so much growth and insight on your part. You are clearly working hard and it shines brightly. I am struggling on many levels right now, and working hard on myself, so this post was a boost. Thank you for sharing it.

laurie6781

WOW!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!

Now that is some contract!!!!! That is really great.

I just copied and pasted it to my Microsoft Works and printed it out, signed it and put
it on my refrigerator at eye level as a REMINDER to me!

Thank you for sharing this. And thank you for sharing your ongoing recovery with us.
I am learning from your recovery, or relearning things I have/had forgotten!

Love and hugs,

FindingErica

I have it written up, signed, dated and hanging on the lamp shade next to my pillow. I also have a copy on my smart phone so I can read it from time to time. My gosl is to take personal responsibility for my life and to not try to find my self worth in unhealthy ways or people. It was triggered by being asked out by a guy friend. I declined because I am still legally married, but then I started realizing that finding another guy with different unhealthy issues was not going to solve me. Unlike AH who treats me bad, is being a neglectful dad but is a great financial supporter. This guy is super kind and sensitive, a really good dad but not a great supporter. I would go from controlling husband to man who is easily controlled and wants to be mommied. It was kind of the catalyst to realizing that unless I get some kind of control of my life, firmly grab the wheel and steer deliberately towards health, I will find new unhealthy codie patterns to fall into because it is comfortable, and I dont think I am worth much which means I will settle for almost good enough or even not good enough. I also have healthy people in my life who are keeping me accountable.

Freedom1990

Count me in on printing that out and putting it up next to my monitor because that is where I am the most. I'm also putting it on my smart phone to take with me when I'm on the go (thank you for the suggestion)!

Your recovery is definitely shining through! I'm proud of you!

laurie6781

I never thought to put it on my phone, but it is there now!! roflmao

Again thank you!

Love and hugs,