Junebugapril

Thank you for listening. I really appreciate it.

Maybe I am not an alcoholic, I don't know. I drink about a bottle of wine a night by myself. It started because I have back pain, and drinking helps me forget about it. I noticed I started drinking earlier. It used to be just at night. Now sometimes I start drinking in the late afternoon. I need to stop drinking. I had hepatitis as a teenager. About ten years ago I found out that it was Hepatitis C. I had a liver biopsy about five years ago before I started drinking a lot. It came out fine, that I still had hepatitis in my system, but the level of the virus was very low.

I am afraid to have a biopsy now, but I did make an appointment with a doctor, and will find out if drinking has hurt my liver.

I know I need to not drink. My last doctor said I could have up to two glasses of wine a day. I know a bottle is considered five glasses. And even more important, I think I am addicted. I crave my drink. I love how I feel when I am drinking.

I do not get hangovers or shaky hands if I don't drink. Am I an alcoholic?

Windancer

Welcome Junebugapril. To me it sounds like you answered your own question. It seems as if you have identified some big warnings signs and have also noticed a pattern. So I think it is important that you come to some conclusion about alcoholism within yourself...
I know that I consider myself an alcoholic and I crave drinks, have trouble limiting them, experience withdrawal when I stop (am/was addicted), have had concerns about my own liver, and also knew I needed to stop. So what do you think?
By the way, this site is great and has helped me a LOT! Keep posting and let us know how you make out! It is awesome that you are here and ready to address some issues.

Junebugapril

Thanks, Dancer. I appreciate you responding to me. I think I do need to make a decision, but I think I really deep down know I have a problem so the label doesn't really matter. I know I have to stop drinking.

Junebugapril

The last time I went to a meeting, it was Al-Anon. It was my ex that was the drinker. It's over ten years later and I just found him on Facebook. I am really creeped out about finding him.

Windancer

Good for you! That is always the first step and the hardest. I struggled with that one for awhile....then got handed my behind so many times that I could no longer ignore the HUGE elephant in the room. I would suggest coming up with a good support plan and group, getting your doctor on board (if you havent already) and finding other things to do in times when I would otherwise be drinking helped me a lot too. Good luck! You can make this change if you want to!

Windancer

By the way, I got to the point where I didnt have hangovers either.......to me it is not a good sign.

Junebugapril

Would you mind explaining what you meant that you got handed your behind so many times that you couldn't ignore the elephant in the room? I kind of get it but not really.

It is really hard to admit I have a problem. My sister keeps telling me I drink too much and should stop, and it always bothers my daughter when I drink, even one glass of wine, but I think that is because my ex drank in front of her when she was little.

So not getting hangovers means you are hooked? That makes sense.

Windancer

Sure! I got two DUIs, lost the love of my life, had the cops called on me, had my reputation ruined, ended up broke and living with my parents, almost accidentally killed myself several times (doing stupid things while drunk and falling etc), and had EVERYONE tell me I needed to stop drinking. So maybe if I had listened to this little voice a LONG time ago, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble. It is hard to ignore that you have an issue when all of these things were caused soley by my alcohol abuse. But it started out very innocently and the issue just got worse and worse...the elephant got bigger and bigger.
And yeah, my body was so used to booze hangovers were never an issue anymore.

phoebe64

June, I think the fact that your family is complaining about your drinking is a red flag. How old is your dd, who does not like it? Funny, my kids do not seem to care that dh and I drink. But we never fight about it and are more like happy drinking buddies. Each silently fighting our own demons on the matter. I gave up getting him on board years ago. While he will limit and cut back, he will never stop. His family are all big partiers. The wine and beer will be flowing at Thanksgiving. Gah! In his defense, he is a great father, coaches the kids teams, has a very good and stable job, etc... But I worry he will develop health problems like me, and we get nothing done around the house due to sleeping alot on weekends.

Anyway, if others are noticing there is a porblem, and if you are asking yourself, well, i think you have an answer.

I share your health concerns. Not hep C, but I have liver issues and diabetes. i should *not* be drinking and I had stopped when I found it all out, for several months. Slowly started back into it, and still had great check ups, so it made me think I could. But, I was unsuccessful in keeping it moderated and am now a bottle at a time wine drinker, at least. My Liver doc did say the occasional wine "when out on the weekend" was ok, but no habitual use. Well, that crept up fast.

It has to stop(for me, anyway).

Join the November group. I just did the day before yesterday. I would love to support one another if you are ready to give it a try. It is good to find others in similar lives with similar habits, kids, etc... who get things.

Welcome to SR.

rochele

IndaMiricale

Give this a read and see what strikes you. You can be free.

Big Book Online - the doctor's opinion

renaldo

I don't get hangovers in the classic sense anymore. I may feel slightly under the weather, but once I'm awake and about for 15 mins. I feel OK. If evening time rolls around and I haven't drank, I feel antsy. It's usually coupled with some stressful thing I'm dealing with.

May I please request that people spell out what they're referring to. Having to look up abbreviations mentioned in posts is a hassle when it would only take posters a few extra seconds to spell out what you're referring to.

soberbythesea

Hi June. I too used to drink about a bottle of wine a night. While that may not be as much as other alcoholics sometimes drink, the key for me was that it was causing me problems, and it sounds like it's causing you problems too.

Like you said, the label isn't really important. What matters is that you think your life might be better sober. If that's the case, why not try it?

escapist

In my opinion, people who can take it or leave it are not alcoholics. I know people who can have a drink and thats all they want. They don't drink until they are drunk. They don't think about alcohol when they are going through their day. They may drink at a party and not drink again for months. Only you can really determine if you have an addiiction. Only you can control it.

doggonecarl

Alcoholic? Who cares. What do you call someone who drinks despite the potential harm it may be causing them....serious harm? Not wise, that's what.

There is saying around these boards. No one call tell you that you are an alcoholic but you. Unfortunately, the last person to figure it out is the alcoholic. Often too late.

Don't be that person.

escapist

You know how alcoholic drinks always have that warning printed on them,'Drink Responsibly" I think only normal drinkers get that.

soberlicious

this!!
I have seen so many people here and IRL debate, sometimes for years, whether they qualify for the "label". Meanwhile drinking away time that can never be gotten back.

That little voice, that sniggly feeling that something is terribly wrong, that is the real you screaming to be heard. Listen.

Delilah1

Good for you Rochele, you have described my husband exactly. I am on Day 37 today and our relationship was/is exactly like yours. Great dad, steady job, and attempting to cut back. I didn't have any health issues, but was drinking way too much. Glad you joined SR, great support here!!

Delilah1

June,

Welcome! This is a great site, and it sounds like you want to and need to stop for your health. I would definitely talk to your doctor, and find as many means of support as you can. Keep reading and posting here, it helps!

least

A bottle of wine would be five large glasses, not the standard wine glass. Do you feel you'd be better off without drinking? That's the only test, if YOU are having problems because of alcohol.

I gave it up almost three years ago and haven't felt this good in a long while.


Welcome to SR!

Junebugapril

I am so happy to have your support here, this is wonderful. Thank you all for these heartfelt replies. Wind, I really appreciate you sharing your story about what happened. It really hits home.

My ex would tell me he had to hit bottom. I think I am ready to give up the wine. I really like it, and get this craving that says I have to drink. I get this craving every day. Then once I start, I can't stop at one or two glasses. Sometimes I open a second bottle of wine and drink half of that.

Rochelle, my daughter is 27. She was a little girl when we lived with my ex. I knew nothing about alcoholics. I could keep a six pack of beer in the fridge for months, and just have one or two once in awhile. He was a different type of drinker. He hid it from me. He drank in the basement or went out on binges. He would come in from a binge at midnight and wake my daughter up and read her a story. It was pretty frightening for her. She just does not like to see me drink, at all. I get a buzz from one glass and that upsets her.

Maybe I should go to a meeting? I am not really a meeting person. Does it help?