Sunnybird03

My biggest problem with drinking is, I usually do it alone. Sometimes there are other people, but for the most part, I'm alone. And I've gotten really good at hiding it from family members. So, when I try to quit, and promise myself I'll quit if I slip up, I have no one to answer to but myself and I can always tell myself it's okay.

Drinking alone has brought me so much guilt and shame. I'm so disgusted with myself I can hardly stand it anymore. I can't talk to my family, they won't get it and I can't bring myself to do it.

thislonelygirl

hey sunny...try talkimg to family be upfront with those closest to you maybe then you wont have to just lean on yourself. its good to have support from family and friends and it helps to get it out there that your strugglimg with this

Sunnybird03

I know I should. Maybe someday I will. I'm just still trying to figure a lot of things out and I feel like if I included family members they would just be worried and confused.

instant

At Sr you can tell it like it is , 24/7. We have been there too.

Dee74

A lot of us drank that way, Sunnybird.

SR was really helpful for me to be accountable to the community here..until I got the self respect back to be accountable to myself

D

EternalQ

I only drank alone too. Many on SR will say the same.

In a way, it is helpful, because you are never quitting "for" someone. You are never in a power struggle with others, and you eventually work your way out of a struggle with yourself.

Only you know.the truth, but isn't it the worst betrayal of all to betray yourself?

To this day, people tell me they didn't think I had a problem. Occasionally Someone will tell me otherwise. But I KNOW the hell on earth I was living. So do you.

Once I got to a week sober, I told at least one person in each sphere, work, friend and family. Even then, I had to explain I had become alcohol dependent, without telling them all the degenerate facts. I saved those for SR!!

DisplacedGRITS

I second what Dee said. When i quit, i started going to AA meetings and posting to SR daily. I too drank alone and didn't have any accountability to anyone. Those meetings and SR gave me people i could be accountable to until i had the self respect back that i needed to have personal accountability. It's difficult and it's uncomfortable but it's what you do in the beginning to get yourself going. Use this support around you to bring yourself up and out of that hole. That's the beautiy of this site. We're not here to judge you but to help. Keep coming back and remember to post before you drink.

Healthyfood

Sunnybird03

I understand you. I drunk alone as well. At the parties I would have a drink or two and then enjoy 5-6 drinks at home. Im glad you recognize that there is a problem. It took me a while to quit. Stay strong.

least

I also drank alone. I'd hide the bottles from my kids but they knew anyway. So glad I don't have to hide anything anymore.

JJay

Sunny, when I first started drinking it was mostly in clubs and bars but sometimes alone. That was YEARS ago. The past 3-4 years I was ALWAYS drinking alone. And I'd black out every time. And like Least I would hide the bottles. First from my parents, then from roommates, then from girlfriends (now exes obviously). They always found them. Even if they didn't find them they'd know. No matter how slick or sneaky I thought I was it was so simple for them to tell when I was drinking.

Hang in there!

Sunnybird03

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know people know exactly how I feel and what I'm going through.

elihoping

Hi Sunny,

I drank alone and lived alone. Nobody to be accountable to and my family too involved in their own drinking to realise mine was a problem. I always told myself 'oh just one more day. Who'll notice? I want to give up forever so I need a final night's drinking'.

One day I started a new journal and wrote down exactly how I lived my days. From waking up in the morning and promising never to drink again through to the evening when I was passing out from alcohol. I wrote it as honestly and as painfully as I could and then read over it. I realised I didn't want that to be my life anymore and that there was always going to be a 'tomorrow' to start my sobriety. From that point, I finally, finally got started on my sobriety.

In some ways, I'm not sure if it matters if you're living alone or have a few kids and a partner. It has to get to the point where it's too painful to carry on the way you're living and you have to change.

Sorry, I've rambled a bit but it can be done. You can get sober even if you're only accountable to yourself. You can do this! xx

doggonecarl

There it is in a nutshell. Your addiction has given you a crack to slip through, every time. It's also making you afraid to quit.

Tell your family. You have no idea how they'll react until you do. As I said, these worst case scenerios that are holding you back? Your addiction is creating these to keep you entrapped.

Delilah1

Hi Sunny,

First welcome! I agree with Dee as well, I am on SR daily and use it as an accountability check.

I have been very selective with who I have told. I told my husband the night after I took a day off and went to the chemical dependency department of my insurance. At the time I think he thought"this is just a phase she is going through", I also think it made him aware if his own drinking habits. About two weeks later he went from doubtful to semi-supportive. He has cut down his drinking, but hasn't stopped, and I know I can't change him, only me.

I told my kids even though they were young, I wrote an earlier post about that. I also told my mom, one very close friend and one of my sister in laws. They were all supportive and I know I can count on them.

If you can find one person to talk to you may be surprised at their response. Also, stick on SR, everyone here is very supportive and we have all been where you are.

Looking forward to seeing you here on SR.

tinkanman

i'm one of those people who has quit drinking by myself with only the support of this web site. my wife knows, but that's it. i was a loner type drinker as well. it takes commitment and perserverance and is not the norm. support from family, friends and aa are the cornerstone to many a recovering alcoholic. what really has to happen is a change in your mind set. that happens only when you decide. what triggers that sequence of events is different for everyone. how we stay the course is unique to each of us as we are all different. the end result is what matters. don't pour the booze into the back of your mouth and swallow. sounds easy enough. wish it was. good luck

Xune

I think deep down, everyone drinks alone...even when surrounded by people in a bar.

You're alone with your alcohol and if your with others, the people around you are nothing more than window dressing.

Lionhearted1

I totally agree with xune, my drinking was always on my own because I liked that secret world alcohol took me too, even if I was drinking with 100 people!!

I do get out tho in regards to not having no one to be accountable too, bu I have a family bu I would still sneak around to ge more drink!!

hypochondriac

This was me too Sunny. It was my guilty secret for so long. But I was paranoid and thought everyone knew too. I told a few people, turned out they didn't know, and that things I had done years ago had never entered their heads since, whereas I had obsessed about them.

Because it was my secret for so long though I find it really hard to talk about it. Although I have admitted a lot to myself I find it hard to admit stuff to other people. I'd recommend practice Phone a drink helpline or AA, just talk to someone about it. I don't think that acceptance comes overnight so it helps to get it all out there and see how you feel about it.

And of course you can talk to us about it. SR has been invaluable in keeping me accountable and offering support. Glad you're here x

22jennifer

I can definitely understand your position. Most people who know me would never believe how much and how often I drink. I am always much more careful to limit myself to only 2 or 3 glasses of wine at social events. I am not willing to tell anyone that I have stopped drinking yet. I dont want to worry my parents, and most of my friends would not even believe that I have a problem. I am good at maintaining the illusion that I "have it together". That is one of the reasons that I joined this group. I really need the support, but I dont think I am a worry or burden to anyone on this site since they dont actually know me. Then, when I "have it together" and have stopped drinking for a year, I will share the good news with my family/friends. I agree with the comments from the others encouraging you to tell people, but I also understand that some of us cant/wont. Best of luck!