kthopkt

Should I send a Christmas card to my brother in jail?

He has made no indication that he is ready to get sober & my gut instinct is that he will see my card as an opportunity to manipulate me again.

Any thought? Are you sending a card to your addict?

Freedom1990

I never sent a card to my AD for any occasion during the multiple times she was in jail.

She is a master manipulator.

Just my two cents! Sending you hugs of support!

eveleivibe

Yes x

interrupted

Follow your gut instinct. It's okay not to send a card, I didn't send one to my sister in jail. Your feelings are the priority here! When I first started changing how I dealt with my sister, especially in the early days of the transition to healthier/no contact, I avoided any situation that would put me in a position to fall back into old patterns. I was prioritizing my recovery. I knew that I would get very upset by any response from her that wasn't what I wanted it to be, so I just didn't send anything. Trust your gut, it's usually right.

PaperDolls

I don't have experience with that but my first thought was that it may be an opportunity for him to manipulate you but that can only happen if you let it. He always has the opportunity to attempt to manipulate you.

MrsDragon

Very True. I think you should do what you are comfortable with. To answer your question, my son (who is actively using) will be joining us for Thanksgiving Dinner. ( I will qualify that he is always on his best behavior when he is with us, so we never see signs on his drug use, or his drinking to extremes.) You can make no wrong choice, just follow what is in your heart, and stay strong with your decisions.

shockozulu

I didn't when I was no contact with my mother and my sister won't be seeing one from me this year.

Why open a door to damage myself