Back to Sobriety again..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 57
Back to Sobriety again..
I was here back in July I think and made it 32 days before the anxiety got too much and I couldn't take it. I drank for the following week and then decided I would quit again and made it 3 weeks until someone shoved a beer on me on my birthday, and then I was drinking the following week to celebrate something. From there it became 3 nights a week, until 4 or 5 and then at that stage I'm right back where I started.
What I learned from being sober was that the further I went the easier it got. Maybe the first few days were easy enough but once I got to Day 6 or so It became really hard until I made it 2 or 3 weeks and then got easier from there. When I broke the cycle and drank I didn't crave it for the next few days after that, it was easy to be sober since I'd filled the hunger. The more you drink the hungrier you are. It's like building a muscle.
Insomnia persisted during the first two weeks and then gradually got better. Between days 17 - 32 I got headaches in the afternoon and still maintained most of my withdrawal symptoms like constipation, bounding pulse, fatigue, occasional body aches and stomach pains.
At the moment, not great physically in that my eyes are bloodshot and I feel like falling asleep all hours of the day but can't. This is on alcohol and off it. Tonight it's day 4 and I'm trying to keep off it using what I've learned and so forth. Hate feeling sick like this and really struggle with the knowledge that two cans will make me feel ten times better but just **** me up in the long term.
Also lost more than 10 kilos since I first gave up, and haven't put it back on. In fact, I've only eaten Mcdonalds once between then and now, and I used to eat it at least once a week so no more burger craving for me
What I learned from being sober was that the further I went the easier it got. Maybe the first few days were easy enough but once I got to Day 6 or so It became really hard until I made it 2 or 3 weeks and then got easier from there. When I broke the cycle and drank I didn't crave it for the next few days after that, it was easy to be sober since I'd filled the hunger. The more you drink the hungrier you are. It's like building a muscle.
Insomnia persisted during the first two weeks and then gradually got better. Between days 17 - 32 I got headaches in the afternoon and still maintained most of my withdrawal symptoms like constipation, bounding pulse, fatigue, occasional body aches and stomach pains.
At the moment, not great physically in that my eyes are bloodshot and I feel like falling asleep all hours of the day but can't. This is on alcohol and off it. Tonight it's day 4 and I'm trying to keep off it using what I've learned and so forth. Hate feeling sick like this and really struggle with the knowledge that two cans will make me feel ten times better but just **** me up in the long term.
Also lost more than 10 kilos since I first gave up, and haven't put it back on. In fact, I've only eaten Mcdonalds once between then and now, and I used to eat it at least once a week so no more burger craving for me
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I agree MIR. Something needs to change.
Just food for thought...
If it does get easier the longer you go, what is it that is causing you to drink again?
Many of us found it necessary to get active in a program of recovery because our problem did not just fade away the longer we stayed away from the drink.
Best wishes. I hope this is your last return to sobriety.
Just food for thought...
If it does get easier the longer you go, what is it that is causing you to drink again?
Many of us found it necessary to get active in a program of recovery because our problem did not just fade away the longer we stayed away from the drink.
Best wishes. I hope this is your last return to sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 57
Okay. Well lately the thing that has made me drink are withdrawal symptoms getting too much and then after one drink seeing them go away and the drink turning me into something else. Today is Day 5 ... Waking up after a 7 hour sleep (I should be sleeping 8 hours or more, because I have sleep debt, but the alcohol withdrawal is waking me up) ... I don't think I've been this sober since September, so it's a step in the right direction. I've got a mentality now with a better idea of how I want the future to run it's course - IE I have specific goals that I won't be able to achieve if I waste away on the booze. IF I believed that I could drink everyday and feel normal, then I would probably be in a more dangerous situation, but the fact is that I get hang overs and the more drinking days in a row I string in a row, the worse they get.
Yeah there are triggers ... And a good few yesterday, but I didn't give into them. They seem to go away quickly. The drinking voice tries to convince me every now and then like ... "Just here me out, just consider the possibility of drinking tonight..." But in terms of rational it's just not logic for me to do it. I'm sort of approaching my life now like the 'Past' doesn't matter, and I've just landed in this body and need to achieve my goals. The body is in bad health so there's no reason to drink at all ... In other words I've worked hard to change my mentality. I know from not drinking those 32 days that my health improved substantially, Ironically though I didn't see the health benefits until I returned to drinking if that makes any sense. In the last 8 years I haven't gone more than two months sober and am confident that the body will repair itself quickly if I can stay sober....
Also, those 32 days I had the mentality that I would go 90 days and then I would be fine to drink again, or at least decide to, Now I know it will take 1 - 5 years to repair the damage - or at least that's about a realistic estimate that I can get.
Yeah there are triggers ... And a good few yesterday, but I didn't give into them. They seem to go away quickly. The drinking voice tries to convince me every now and then like ... "Just here me out, just consider the possibility of drinking tonight..." But in terms of rational it's just not logic for me to do it. I'm sort of approaching my life now like the 'Past' doesn't matter, and I've just landed in this body and need to achieve my goals. The body is in bad health so there's no reason to drink at all ... In other words I've worked hard to change my mentality. I know from not drinking those 32 days that my health improved substantially, Ironically though I didn't see the health benefits until I returned to drinking if that makes any sense. In the last 8 years I haven't gone more than two months sober and am confident that the body will repair itself quickly if I can stay sober....
Also, those 32 days I had the mentality that I would go 90 days and then I would be fine to drink again, or at least decide to, Now I know it will take 1 - 5 years to repair the damage - or at least that's about a realistic estimate that I can get.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
