sophiasunshine

Hello, I wrote here a few weeks ago, I managed to stay clean for 5 days, then i fell back again.. I feel ashamed and like a failure...

It all happened when I got a phonecall saying my grandmother just died, it triggered my fear of death... I couldnt cope with it.. Been drinking wine every night again since then, feel really low, arguing with my man and feel so lonely here in this country without family or friends.. I try to stop, I try to cope, I want to stop drinking but I feel the wine is my only friend right now. It make me feel calm, sleep and go through the days..I don't know what to do.

Natom

To be honest Sophia I doubt many people could have dealt with an immediate loss in the family at only 5 days clean. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. It's happened, there ain't nothing you can do about it except move on. You know why it happened so you just gotta let it go. I don't know what country you are in but I know NA/AA has helped me with my addiction problems.

You need to change loads of things to be successful in recovery. The most important thing is that you need some kind of program. People you can call, places you can go, etc, that will be beneficial to your recovery. You are going to be feeling a lot of emotions regarding your grandmothers passing and it would probably be wise to talk to a professional about them and your alcohol problem.

Natom.

Cleopatra1

hey sophia,, its ok hun,, i know how hard it is, and its a tough time for you,, jus ttake your time and get back on it when you feel ready,, 5 days is fab , you will do it again,, just dont be hard on yrself hun, dont call yrself a failure ,cos yr not,, you recognised it and thats half the battle.
good luck and keep posting,, im sorry for your loss, we are here for you xxx
lv
cleo xxx

Grace2

Hi Sophia

I'm so sorry to hear about your sad loss.

Just remember, 'Falling down isn't failing, staying down is failing'. Learn from your slip, draw a line under it and move on. You're only human and you're doing well so don't beat yourself up.

Read and post here as much as you can.
*****
JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

sophiasunshine

thank you so much everyone.. and especially the quotes!!xx trying again today...

Pondlady

Good Morning Sophia!
I'm very sorry about the loss of your grandmother. Trying again today is a great idea - keep posting - you can do this

Elisabeth888

I am sorry for your loss!

Drinking is not coping with her death though, it is putting off coping. I don't know about you, but drinking makes me emotional and irrational.

MIRecovery

Sorry for your loss. Try AA you will be surrounded my more true friends than you have ever had

AJM

You are NOT a failure!!!! it's all a part of the process....stay strong and when the time is right, you'll know.

hope22

Sophia - so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother Your not a failure, you can do this!

Windancer

I did the same thing last night. Fell off the wagon on day 6 . So I know how you feel.

Maylie

At such an early point in sobriety it is not uncommon to not be ready to
deal with such a hard situation. I am at a little over a month and losing a
family member would really put my sobriety in jeopardy.

Try to take it one day at a time. You might feel like wine is your only
friend, but it is better to have no friends then to have wine as a friend.
You can do this, you just need to make a new recovery plan that now
fits your needs.

Take care of yourself and I'm sorry for you loss,

hugs

Maylie

Anna

Sophia, I am sorry for your loss.

Have faith that you will learn to deal with life, without benefit of alcohol. You will be able to find healthy ways to cope.

Thepatman

Sorry for loss. I'm just 2 days back on the waggon.

Maybe you can channel your energy. She is with you, and I know she is proud that you are trying to get back on track.

Blessings

duane1

Hi Sophia,
Sorry for your loss. Wine was my old friend. It helped me sleep, took away all the troubles of the world. I lost my father to a plane crash 3 months into recovery. If I hadn't been having liver problems, I probably would have picked up too. We are here for you. Alcohol will not dull the pain of your loss. It is giving you false promises right now. I hope this is a temporary setback and you give sobriety a try again.

IndaMiricale

Sure works wonders for this alcoholic..