StrictScrutiny

I knew it was inevitable (based on statistics). I think being unable to handle life as a sober person really got to me. I don't want to be the alcoholic I was, but I can't stand being absolutely miserable while sober. No clue what to do next.

choublak

But if you're thinking like that, it's kind of like setting yourself up for a relapse.

amy55

Take statistics and throw them out the window. If you don't want to drink, you will work on that. I also just had a 4 month relapse. I am going to start again.

I didn't want to deal with life sober, but you know what, I decided that I don't want to have to deal with life, I want to live life.

So starting again 2moro, will not drink. I also put up a thread today about this. I would love it if you join me in this quest.

I have quit a few times, and the best times that I had in my life was the ones that I remembered. It's not easy, but take my hand and we can do this together

duane1

How long did you make it? For a while, I think we all feel overwhelmed at trying to live life sober after we quit. I know I was overwhelmed.
I can't tell you what will work for you, but exercise, hobbies, getting work done around my house really helped me get over that period and refocus my life in another direction.

StrictScrutiny

I made it a little over 50 days.

amy55

I hear they still have room in the November Class, want to join with me? You are obviously here because you don't want to drink, neither do I

FenwayFaithful

Me too then I relapsed a few days ago

Stopped going to meetings. Didn't keep an open mind. The spirtuality aspect turns me off a bit

But I'm back in AA now keeping an open mind telling myself there's no way every single person who walked in here was a spiritual person when they first walked in. They were a broken alcoholic just like me and this program worked for them so why can't it work for me?

Decided I haven't got anything to lose and my way isn't working so why not try someone else's before just brushing it off and assuming it won't work for me

Check out my thread if you want it's "Just walked down to the liquor store" it has some information in there you might find helpful.

The way I justified drinking was "Well everyone relapses" but relapse is not apart of recovery.

If AA really just isn't for you there's other forms of recovery out there. It's just important to be active in something

Dee74

Relapse IS NOT inevitable - maybe you just let yourself be convinced it was, Strict?

OK 50 days is good - but I tried to remember I drank for 20 years - I remember it took me about 3 months or so to work out how not to drink, let alone to even start to figure out being happy.

I expected being sober would magically make me happy - it did not. It gave me a great platform to work from tho

To be honest, I found I had to work as hard on figuring out how to be happy sober as I did on not drinking...

If you're not happy in your life Strict - do something about that - something that really gets to grips with the problem, not something that's simply running away to get high and avoid solutions.

If living sober is hard for you - find support - there's a truckload of it out there...and people who'll happily give up time effort and share experience to help you through bad days too

You can do this - you just need to get rid of that defeatist idea that relapse is inevitable, for a start

D

amy55

Did you realize that I am recruiting for the November class. (lol) I want company there.

Yes as Dee said, a defeatist attitude, that is what I had for the last 4 months when I relapsed. I didn't want to go to sleep, but yet I couldn't wait to go to sleep, then I didn't want to get up in the morning, just to do it all over again.

So why do we do this? Because we are lonely and bored?

Someone had given me this plaque to hang on my wall,

it said

" it is what it is "
"but it will become, what you make it"

think about that
I do a lot

StrictScrutiny

I'm on the verge of tears. I don't know what to do. I can't drink my way through life, but I don't have the tools to be sober. ****.

Liv2011

You're trying...we all are. So long as you just keep trying, baby steps, you'll get stronger until you are falling less and less. I just had 2 hot cocoas and am going to sleep now. However, next week I am going on vacation to a resort where food and drinks (and booze) are all included. You don't even need to leave the pool, you can swim up to a bar.

Am I worried? totally. Will I slip? I don't know. I am trying to view it as a really good time to get really healthy, that I will feel better if I just eat and drink healthy, get sun and exercise. Who knows...

FenwayFaithful

Fake it till you make it.

No one starts with the tools to be sober. You take it one day at a time. Go to meetings, find a sponsor, spend time with sober people, find a hobby, replace the drinking ritual with someone else.

It's like you instantly get better once you realize you're an alcoholic. It doesn't work like that. You have to work for it.

It isn't easy but when I look at people in meetings who have gone through the steps they just seem so HAPPY, like this has really worked for them. And my hope is it'll work for me too.

Are you participating in any sort of recovery plan? Even if it isn't AA? I think it's really important you do and if you're not it may be what's causing you to have such a tough time. It's important to be apart of some kind of fellowship where you feel understood

Dee74

Everyone has access to the tools, Strict

I've never met anyone who couldn't get sober, noone who didn't want to be...

what have you tried so far?

D

instant

There is a way out of this- The daily practice of gratitude helped me 'tune in' to a new way of being me- that is so much easier and pleasurable.

Sazzle

Hi strict. Just read your signature. You picked that out for a reason at one time. That reason is to now.

Come join us in the November class. There's loads of support there.

S x

Lionhearted1

I dont think relapse is inevitable, every time i relapsed I HAD a choice... it may sound so simple but its the truth.

I started getting back into my old though patterns, did not take no actiion to change my thoughts and walked myself to the shop and drunk the booze myself. i was not forced or magically transported there.

For me i dont want to over complicate this, i chose to drink & now i choose not to drink!!!