Km00

My older sister has been drinking to excess for many years. She also is manic depressive and has a tendency to abuse her prescription medications as well. Her husband is an enabler who monitors her drinking (up to a fifth a day of vodka by his calculation) as well as provides her with the alcohol. His reasoning is that he doesn't want her going out and hurting herself or others. He loves her with a passion but seems unable to address her addictions. At times she can keep it under control but eventually relapses. She does see a psychiatrist but is such an accomplished actress that either she can fool the doctor or cancels her appointments when she is "under the weather". There are four of us siblings who do not know if there is anything we can do to "help" her so we do nothing tangible. One sister has told "M" that if she is too intoxicated that she will not speak to her on the phone and will hang up on her if she is. Our parents passed away two years ago and we are trying to keep us connected. We overlook her drinking behavior while at family gatherings to avoid confrontations. She is a melancholy drunk who weeps and gets emotional since she does realize that we are uncomfortable with her. She is a warm and wonderful person, but we have not seen that person for many years. I do nothing on my end to either help her or acknowledge her addictions. When we talk I basically act as if nothing is wrong. I do say occasionally that she needs to"clean up" her act since my daughter and her godchild is getting married next year. I really want her to be there but also will understand if she "bails". There is so much more to this enigmatic sister but I will end here. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Anna

I am very sorry for your sad situation with your sister.

Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself? It could be beneficial.

MIRecovery

Alanon is a great resource to help you with what can and can not be done but most importantly how to take care of yourself