KitKat7575

Hi all, hope today finds you well.

My concern today is that I seem to have nose-dived. I'm 5wks sober and have felt tired from day one. I am now feeling exhausted and my anxiety has gone through the roof. I am so scared that I'm losing my sanity. I don't feel here/real. I'm feeling too conscious/aware of everything. I'm panicking writing this as I feel like I'm viewing it from behind a screen. Maybe I'm developing a personality disorder....or maybe it's always been there, I've just drunk so much over the years, it's masked it

I went cold turkey at home. Had a pretty rubbish time but got through it. I'm now worrying I should've got medical help through it and I've damaged myself and the recovery process by doing it alone.

I don't want to drink...yet I really, REALLY can't bear to stay like this if this is how it's going to be.... I can't even go out, feel safe to drive, pick up my daughter from school (cannot possibly deal with small talk to other parents)

Please tell me this is normal?!?!?
Thank you for reading.
Love and peace x

Sazzle

Have you been replacing the sugar you would have got from alcohol? A wise old timer at my AA said its really important, especially for women, to make sure they replace the sugar. Not sure what's behind this but he made me promise to eat a bit of chocolate every day. No hardship!

Also have you made sure you're taking multi vits. Anaemia is quite common in heavy drinkers.

Above all go see your GP for advice. Stick with it. 5 weeks is great!

S x

KitKat7575

Hi Sazzle,
Thanks for replying. I stupidly went straight on to a liver cleansing diet the very day I gave up booze and fags.....I think my blood sugar went low. I was tested for diabetes a few months ago but that was obviously before I gave up drinking. Maybe my sugars have gone bananas and need to be tested again?!?
I've been taking a multi-vit and a Berocca daily. I'm doing a Fat Burner Foods diet (normal sensible eating though)...... maybe I should give in and eat chocolate!! Heck, got to have some pleasures huh?!?!
Do you think my mental state could be down to the chemicals in my body now being all over the place, making me feel other-worldly?!? I think I should probably call the doctor tomorrow!!! Get tested for EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks again xx

escapist

5 weeks is great! Ciggies too? You have awesome will power. I think talking to a Doc is a good idea. Definately, mention your anxiety.

wpainterw

I can't say whether it's "normal" or not, only that it never happened to me. Sounds like it might be a good idea to see a doctor and be completely open and honest. If he/she prescribes, I always considered it wise to have a non renewable prescription so as to give the doc control over what is going on. My hunch is that your anxiety is likely to diminish if you hang in there but I think the only person qualified to advise you is a doctor and then only if that person has your entire history.

W.

Sazzle

Choose your battles KitKat! I'm leaving dieting well alone whilst I deal with my alcohol problems. I'm losing about 1-2 lbs a week anyway and that is with the choc. You may want to take it easy re detoxing. Just cutting out the booze and taking milk thistle is probably all you need to do for your liver right now.

If you're cutting out fat, your brain will go haywire. We need fats, but chose healthy ones instead: flax/linseed oil, avocado, coconut oil etc. they are known as skinny fats because they help us hydrate and lose the strorrd bad fats.

See what the Dr says. Sort the alcohol out and the rest will all fall into place.

S x

Auvers

At 5 weeks, I was experiencing a lot of symptoms similar to what you reported, ones that I came to believe were PAWS. The total exhaustion, numbed out or unreal feelings were there until beginning to clear at 3 months. I am 5 months now and almost over these lingering withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety is gone completely. I just kept my diet healthy, small frequent meals with protein, fiber and healthy fats. For me, the symptoms just had their own life while my brain was getting back to functioning without alcohol. Try to keep your stress minimal. Best wishes, hang in there.

hypochondriac

It's normal KitKat. At least it was for me. My 2nd month I felt like I walking around in a fog. Do not panic if it doesn't get better right away. You need time to heal. Talking to a doctor would be useful and maybe look into something to help with the anxiety x

choublak

Going cold turkey at home is dangerous because it can cause seizures among other things. But since you've already gone through it and made it this far, there's no reason not to continue your recovery process.

Zee

Hi there I understand what you are going through... its called depersonalisation. I'm starting cognative behavural therapy soon to try and snap myself out of it. Google it, there are support sites for it. ... You feel like you are 'not there'... its hard to explain, like your life is a movie of something. You focus on it, and the anxiety begins... that's called 'broken record syndrome' you just focus on 'not being there' and feeling like you are going insane!!! You're not... but you just gotta understand what it is. Get knowledge about it. Lots of people get it... you are not alone xxx

endlesspatience

You mention anxiety. I think there are different varieties of this. Some things I am anxious about quite deservedly: unpaid bills, troublesome relationships, health implications of drinking etc. Other things fall into the category of more general worries. A sense of doom if you like. Those are harder to deal with. But as for the more specific causes of anxiety, I find it helpful to make a list of them on a piece of paper and then beside each one, write down what I can do to deal with it. It really helps if you can talk to someone else about it.

Do you think you might be able to get a sponsor in AA? I had one before and I am looking for one at the moment. I also have a professional addiction counsellor I see once a week and as you are in London, you may find it helpful to get in touch with that organisation.

Send me a private message if you would like to me give you the details.

Dee74

Hi KitKat

there's a lot of theories here - but the only really way to know whats going on is to make an appointment with your Dr, and get a professional opinion.

Odds are it is probably nothing too serious - alcohol detox and early recovery is hard enough - adding a liver cleanse into the mix is a lot to ask mind and body

D

KitKat7575

Thank you all.....it means so much just to have a little confirmation that I'm not totally losing my mind. I feel very shaky inside (not DTs shaky, but v nervous shaky).....I'm going to try and sleep. I hardly got any last night because I was panicking.

Choublak....it wasn't until I came on here on Day 3 or 4 that I realised how dangerous cold turkey was. Oh my, cue panic attack. I've had a couple of seizures before due to withdrawal over the years (not long term but within 10hrs of last having a drink/drugs) so I'm already taking medication. I upped my dose over the first week....but I was still twice on the verge of having one. I would never go cold turkey again!!! Although I hope I never have to be in this state ever again!!
Zee, I've just looked up 'depersonalisation' and found a v good site. Wow, it 100% describes me!! I'm not alone!!! I have seen a cognitive behavioural therapist for the last few weeks to deal with anxiety. Since I've become sober, there are a whole heap of other issues I now have to face and deal with. I'm 37, I'll be fixed by the time I'm 70!!! I see him again first thing tomorrow so will ask him more on the subject.

Thank you all for your encouragement and taking time to help. I'll try and help anyone too.....especially when I'm part of this world!!! It really is the most bizarre and scary feeling. Very odd.

Night all, sweet dreams and stay safe xxxx

Windancer

5 weeks? Congrats! That is awesome. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. These feelings will pass....try and take comfort in that they will not last forever.

sothisisit

I agree with Sazzle, low blood sugar is a big issue when quitting drinking. It certainly was for me.

Windancer

Low blood sugar is an issue for me as well. Try and eat!!! even if it is only tiny amounts as often as you can!

KAD

Hi KitKat, I'm only 9 days into my quit this time, but I've quit enough in the past to know exactly the experiences you're talking about. People who knew I had an alcohol problem would look at me funny sometimes like they suspected I was up to my old habits again. Simple things would confuse me and I found it very difficult to concentrate at times. I also became physically clumsy and my driving skills actually got worse!

Do some research on PAWS if you haven't already. That describes some, but not all, of the symptoms I have experienced and yours sound about the same. They haven't "kicked in" for me just yet this time, but over the next week or so I anticipate feeling not quite there. If you read up on it - along with following the advice of others here regarding a healthy diet and allowing yourself some sweets now and then - I think you'll be better prepared.

I don't believe you sabotaged yourself by not taking the medical route to quitting. I never have and I've been an alcoholic for 25 years. Fortunately, my withdrawal symptoms are fairly moderate and usually go away after a day sober.

tabasco

Take a break Kitcat

You sound like you have what I call spacey head. Perhaps things seem faster too.

Relax, it's normal and will pass. Just a phase which will pass soon. I expect as soon as tomorrow or the next day. Go and treat yourself to something nice. Smile at someone and make their day with a deserved compliment:day6

best wishes

FreeFall

Sounds like symptoms that a lot of people describe early on...I know for me the exhaustion and spaciness lasted throughout months two and three. I had huge sugar cravings too, and I never had much of a sweet tooth before quitting. Your brain is healing, and your body is adjusting to all the changes. Eat healthy, sleep as much as you need to, and keep moving forward through it!

KAD

Although I think it's safe to allow yourself some confections now and again, I would also caution that there is a school of thought that considers sugar a "gateway" to alcoholism. I get mad sugar cravings when I quit drinking and, in the past, if I satisfied them to the extent of overindulgence, I usually ended up back on the bottle. The idea is, since alcohol is derived from sugar, your body is trying to replace what it's been accustomed to receiving. It's also used to receiving the intoxicating effects of alcohol, so the theory goes that your body won't be satisfied with only going half the way and you slip back into the bottle.

I've heard ideas from both sides of the issue, but I know from my own experience that when I overdid it, I went back to drinking. This time around, I'm allowing myself just a couple treats/day but not going crazy with it. So far so good. Just something to keep in mind.