Finallyfound

Hello SR I have been reading through the forums for the last couple of days as I am going through opiate w/d. I have to say that the threads have helped a lot and thought I need to express my gratitude.

I have had my fair share of struggles with substance abuse. In my early 20s I was quite the alcoholic. I have been sober now for 9 years. After that it was meth I have been away from that poison for 5 years.

Recently I have been abusing oxycodone on and off for six months. I was up to around 15 pills a day for the last month. I recognized my behavior from previous encounters with substances.

I am in day to of w/d and am doing pretty good. I have taken strength from the post that I have read. I think I am finally to the point in my life that I am fed up with this endless cycle of addiction and sobriety. I now know that I am an addict

YoungAndClean

Finally found congrats it finally sounds like your ready to get off the roller coaster. I was a poly-drug addict, if you gave me anything i iked to much i would abuse it and use it everyday. I got tired of being an addict only to clean up and repeat the process all over again. I worked so hard only to waste my money on drugs and get nowhere. My life was going nowhere fast until I realized I was sick and tired and that there had to be a better way. I found it at AA, and although I have less tha 100 days sober I feel like a new man. There is hope for you and SR is a good place to learn and get involved because we care about you and understand the frustration addicts/alcholics go through. Today can be the start of a brand new life for you, and if you ask any of these longtime recovered addicts they will tell you even on their worst days sober are still better then their best days using. Welcome to SR.

Finallyfound

Young,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have let things like this rule me since I was a teenager, it ruined my first marriage (she was also an addict), and I almost let it destroy my new life.

I have a wonderful supportive woman a beautiful daughter and in 7 months I will have another beautiful something.

My mom who has always been my rock recently had a debilitating brain surgery and I felt left alone in the world and that started the most recent struggle. But I am stronger now than I have ever been in my life. The people that are in my life deserve more than what I was and I want to give them the person I have always wished I could be.

YoungAndClean

Sorry to hear about your mom finally. I like you let addiction rule me since I was a teenager. If you would have told that 15 year old stoner that one day he would be smoking meth and putting heroin in his arm he would of shattered that marijuana pipe on the concrete!!

Its great to hear how many blessing you have in your life, family, kids, that is the stuff that makes life worth living. And worth fighting for. I like where your head is at finally you have a lot of ammunition to beat this thing. Addiction wants to kill us man, it wont stop until we are dead or seperated from those we love, alone, suicidal, etc.

Right now is your time, our time, to shut the door on the past and open the window to serenity. We've had plenty of chaos and partys to last a lifetime. Stick around SR man and keep reaching your hand out to support. Do you go to AA/NA? It might be something to consider as well.

Finallyfound

Young,

I used to go to AA meetings twice a week when I stopped drinking. I haven't been to a meeting recently but have researched some options locally but so far SR is it.

YoungAndClean

Yeah cause if your the kind of addict/drinker i am we can't do this alone. Best of luck man, welcome to SR.

Windancer

Keep at it and keep posting!!!! Best of luck...you can do it and reap all the rewards from doing so

Finallyfound

Here I am on day 4 without oxy. I am having a hard time today physically the "flu" is pretty much gone I am still not sleeping very well but that to will get better.

For some reason my mind keeps going to a dark place. I don't want to hurt myself or anything like that I just can't seem to keep up the positive attitude and then comes the voice that says just one won't hurt it's just one and you feel better.

But I won't I can't I am better than that and stronger than that.

It feels better to say it out loud as I sit and type this. Again I am thankful that I found this place when I did.