ghost99

My AS is a very mean and confrontational person when she's drinking. I can't understanding doing something that makes you so angry. She has gone from back and forth from abusing prescription drugs which had the opposite effect (super distance and mellow) to abusing alcohol. I know this question is irrelevant to big picture, but I am just curious,

DoubleBarrel

Hmmm. I think what happens is that you are always chasing that buzz.
I'm sure the first part of drinking is relaxing and full of good feelings, but the problem is you never stay there. It's an ever moving goal line.
If you don't keep going, it wears off and you start feeling badly. So you drink more, but by the time you have had more to drink, and you feel it, you have extra in your system, and your body is still metabolizing, and you over shoot the mark, becoming intoxicated.

This is the insane balancing act that most people go through in the earlier phases of addiction. It is chasing a figment of a dream, a feeling that you can never recreate or return to.

thislonelygirl

my ah will go way UP and then way DOWN in gis emotions. ive seen the confrontational and angry and crazy side of him way too many times and the thing is that alcohol and drugs they have HUGE impacts on what they perceive as reality and have a loss not only in motor function but in emotions ,
my ah has gotten mad over the smallest problems "talked about it constantly over and over again" and has harped on the same problems big or small that happened years ago. it doesnt make sense but this is what using does to the brain and does while the person is under the influence

DoubleBarrel

Also, if she is struggling with addiction, she is not in a happy place. Fighting the urge to drink, then succumbing to it, can leave you feeling like a real self loathing piece of ****. That anger turns inward and can be depressing, but there is also a part of every addict in denial. Oftentimes we lash out at anyone and anything, because of all the anger and frustration of a life out of control. It's all part of this horrible illness.
The rage that I had drinking was unbelievable. I'm glad I never killed anyone. I would have.

thislonelygirl

just wanted to add that i knew an alcholic family friend growing up....she wasnt so bad when i was younger but then as i got older it was like everyone could see drinking effect on her. cant hide it. i remember once me and family dropped her off at her house and waved goodbye after a day out (she was wasted mind you) and she didnt hear what we were telling her "byeeee" and she said "oh ok be there in a bit" (shake head) she followed us all the way to our house in hber car. we couldnt believe it. she wouldnt leave once she got their either...didnt understand what we were telling her. it was late we want to go to bed. she then continued to go into my mothers kitchen and steal/drink straight from a liquor bottle she found in there.
when she put it down i hid it. i think she knew it was me and we called her husband to come get her. as her husband and her were leaving she looked at me and said "b***....wanna fight" she was serious! and kept giving me this look calling me names and making threats then one second later shes giving me a hug and saying bye.
doesnt make sense but thats what happens