Rosiepetal

Hi, I'm not sure what's happening to me but I seem to be feeling anxious & a little bit frightened.
I am worried about bumping into my XABF, worried about bumping into him & his new GF, worried I might go to my Xmas work party & he might be there with her & I won't know how to react, worried about going away with my family at Xmas time & not having internet access to be in touch with SR & my family not understanding my head space.
I've never really felt like this before. Is it just accepting that I know I'm going to have to face these problems? Is it just the unknown of the future?
Or is it just a part of the healing & grief process?
I feel very exposed & vunerable.

On a plus note I have booked into get my hair done in 2 weeks time so I can focus on doing something nice for me.

dollydo

As FDR said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"

Here is an acronym for fear:

F antasy
E xpectations
A ppearing
R eal

And a few little tidbits about fear:

Fear takes unsupported doom and in our minds makes the premiss real, although, it is not.

Fear is a negative emotion that keeps us trapped.

Fear stops success.

Fear causes us to give up even before we've even gotton started.

That's all I know about fear!

Continue to do positive things for you and don't worry about the what if's of the future, what will happen, will happen.

fluffyflea

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

LifeRecovery

I felt a lot of this right after it all hit the fan for me. Actually I felt if for months afterwards.

It also was an impetous to get myself some help to feel better.

I can't remember if I have said this in another post to you, but Susan Anderson's The Journey from Abandonment to Healing was really helpful to me in understanding what was going on.

I love the FEAR ancronmyns above. I had not heard of the one Dolly mentioned but the first time I heard the other one I thought about it all day and have it posted on my fridge, at work etc.

Rosiepetal

Thank you liferecovery I have just ordered that book, very helpful.

I also have arriving anyday now co-dependent no more, Detachment, Under the influence & this will make you laugh Taylor Swifts new CD because it has the song "we are never ever getting back together" lol.

Judging by comments made above I might reopen my "Feel the fear & do it anyway" book as this is a bible to me, I've read it over & over at different stages of my life.

I didn't realise it was fear that I was feeling.
I do feel that I need to go through these emotions after a traumatic stage in my life dealing with alcoholism & now betrayal.

I will work on myself but it helps to have you all there for advice.