Elisabeth888

I have my inlaws comingto stay for three days TWICE in November. I am dreading it. It is not that I dislike them at all. I just don't want so much togetherness. One or two nights is just about right. People get on my nerves after that.

I also hats how they bring a bottle of jack everywhere they go. Why do I have to be around it in my own house? My husband drinks and that bothers me enough. I guess it would be hypocritical to tell them they can't drink.

Those of you that aren't around alcohol in your house are so lucky. I don't feel tempted to drink, I would just prefer to not even be around it.

Thanks for reading my blather!

lilgolden73

That would really suck! I have been around it since I started this, but I make the choice not to drink....I told a family member who is an alcoholic as well, that I don't want alcohol in my house if they come for the holidays, that is mainly for her benefit, but if others who don't have a problem bring it, I guess I won't banter too much...LOL! I hope you make it through, I don't like that much togetherness either..LMAO!

Sazzle

Blather away if it helps. I am lucky as there is no alcohol in my flat. My flatmate always drinks out. I'd be miffed as well, if I was in your situation. I find pity is a better emotion than anger. What a pity they feel they have to have their adult 'blankie' of hack wherever they go!

Can you make plans? My mum has 'classes' she has to go to and then pops out to see friends instead in the evening when she had long staying guests!

Good luck with it all.

S x

escapist

My Step Dad called Friday and asked about Thanksgiving. They come over every year. The stress of it kills me. My Step Dad is one of those guys who washes his hands constantly. Smells everything. I used to get plowed just so I could deal with him. Oh they don't drink , they are Mormans. They converted when I was 18. I am trying to get out of it. I feel for you. They don't get alcoholism or recovery.

Elisabeth888

I am trying to look at this from a step back. At least they want to spend time with us, and they won't be around forever. At least I am sober and not making an ass out of myself.

I just rejoice when guests leave. I have some leaving this morning. They have a 3.5 year old that is a total brat (I don't have kids, probably biased) and she has made my house look like a bomb went off.

I am very OCD about my house. I like it extremely neat, clean, and tidy. I can't stand it when people come and throw their crap all over the place.

snoopy87

Maybe I'm speaking out of turn, but you don't have to be around it in your house. It's your house. I had the same issue with certain relatives and when I set that boundary, I was questioned and they seemed offended. Truth is, I let them know I don't need anyone's permission to keep myself healthy. Now, I don't have to cook as much and their visits are shorter. lol If that's not an option, I agree with the suggestion above about removing yourself whenever you need to. I know that we all have to make sacrifices and compromises in life, including the holidays, but it includes everyone involved and shouldn't include accepting other's disregard for our recovery. I hope it works itself out and that you have a great holiday.

solstice3

I agree with snoopy, your house, your rules. But I guess its tough if your husband is drinking (and may not agree). Why can't they stay in a hotel? Can you come up with some reason why that would be better? Don't know your situation but maybe you have to get up early to work or work out or work late or some obligation that would make it like you are unable to entertain them, cook for them etc. Or you could make a reservation for them at a B & B and tell them it is an early Xmas present from you? None of that would work with my relatives, but most of them are allergic to cats and won't come in my house anyway. I also turned the guest bedroom into an office, so when friends come they stay in a hotel and our visit goes so much smoother. Bathrooms can get crowded in the mornings!

snoopy87

Turning the guest bedroom into an office is an AWESOME idea! LOL I wish I would've thought of that one sooner.

Pondlady

Company can be very stressful. I go crazy cleaning and getting everything in order. My daughter just left yesterday after two weeks with us with her three cats. She was here due to the hurricane and I ADORE her....but am relishing the peace of my home this morning.

A friend of mine gave me some good advice about company. She enjoyed a simple breakfast with them and told them she attends to personal errands each day and then "naps" for two hours each afternoon, and would see them all for dinner. She lived in a spot where people wanted to vacation - so she had company constantly. She said she absolutely needed her private time in her room each afternoon - whethere she named , read...or whatever.

Maybe you could modify that advice, but make sure you have some alone time - hey you could come to SR! I'd keep the meals simple and plan some enjoyable drinks for yourself. Keep reminding yourself, how glad you'll be when you remain sober and healthy

Elisabeth888

So glad to know I am not the only one that gets stressed with people in my home. We have two guest rooms so it is kind of our fault. We each have an office too. I could make one a craft room?!

Fandy

or you could just tell them the truth>???

you are not up for entertaining, how about them inviting YOU and doing all the work? and make them clean the bathroom. whenever I am invited to someone's home i always help clean too.

i wouldnt dream of telling people that they can't drink, it's not my place to control them. if they bring their own booze and enjoy a drink it's fine....but if it triggers you, it's a different story.