crazybabie

I usually go to FA meetings but just really don't feel at home there so today I decided to attend an al-anon meeting. The people were great very welcoming I really needed a meeting and the meeting was a good one BUT...

I left there so angry? Not at the people there just freaking angry it came out of the blue the longer I sat there the angrier I got by the end of the meeting when I got in my car I was almost in tears.

I just wondered if anyone has been through that? Maybe someone has some opinions as why? I feel stupid for getting angry at the place I am looking for a bit of peace.

LoveMeNow

Did the topic of that meeting trigger?

Anaya

Maybe you're overwhelmed and the anger is a normal response.

Personally, I sometimes try to dodge or stuff my anger (not a good thing to do) and it has it's way of creeping up and seeping out, sometimes when I least expect it.

How about indulging in something good and fun for you? I did a getaway with the ladies in our family a few weeks back to a wonderful, huge outdoor crafts festival. We had so much fun and laughed a lot. I actually spent more money than I thought I would or should and since I usually don't do that, rationalized it was okay to do so, lol. It was great to get away, the weather was beautiful, and just such gorgeous fall scenery (we're fortunate to have that around here).

Hugs.

crazybabie

LMN, that is possible the topic was responsibility and one reading did trigger oh yeah I remember being the one who had to do all that.

Anaya, Your likely right as well, I have been way overwhelmed ever since I had gotten sick and AH started coming around and I have been on anger overload already as of late.

When I say had to do it was about caring for the kids, making sure the bills were paid etc... I am realizing (I am slow) that my AH has been an addict every since we got together he was one I guess when I met him he smoked pot and as I stated before that was "normal" to me.

Well I now see where it was not "normal" 31 years ago 'sigh" Hindsight

MiSoberbio

Something I recently learned about myself was that my anger really isn't "anger" – it's "anguish" that I haven't allowed myself to feel (because that hurts, and I don't like being hurt), so I twist it into anger.

Sometimes anger is necessary and warranted, but, for me, it's usually just the result of me playing my "I'm stronger than any of you" game.

Hope you're feeling better now.

crazybabie

Thanks, that is another valid point and yes I do that at times. I think I will just let it go and not let it drive me crazy and get back to my step work.

bunkie65

Hi, I can only share what I experienced with the al anon program and that anger was the only emotion I felt safe to express or the only feeling or emotion I knew! I since have learned how to release alo5 of my anger that was buried so deep inside about things I stuffed away! Iam was a stuffer! My feelings/emotions that is! Anger was felt and expressed and stuffed when I could not express it or did not want to feel it! For me I cried for my first 10 meetings plus!!! I was so hurt and angry and did not even know how deep this went! It took time for me to even become aware of this. It took time to get intouch with other feelings and allow them to be felt! I also learned that I can feel whatt im feeling and let it go! I can tell you with the 12 steps I learned and listening to experience strengths and hope, my higher power and really trying to understand me, my life changed! Its been 10 years and I took a bit of a break, I thought since I was not living with active addiction and had grown and changed so much I was "golden"...... WRONG! I have so much more work to do and I look forward to that! Why? Because I heal, grow and change into a person I love more and more eaach day! I get me! Or should I say im getting me! Its a process, one day at a time! My life is so rich, because of the healing that took place and is taking place. Because of the awarenessi have today about me and addiction. Anger is also a part of greiveing and it is something im learning about now! Greiveing the loss of the old me, the loss of my truths that were not truths, loss of the one I love! Anger is and can be healing as long as I figure out why im angry and release it after I feel it! I know that may sound corny, but its so true at least for me!

Anger is a emotion/feeling I don't have to much anymore. Mainly because as I said I am able to identify where its comming from and why then feel it and let go! This too shall pass! I sont do anything perfectly and its all about progress not perfection! I also know how to ask myself how important is it. Am I tired, hungry, pms ing!

There are a set of life tools, skills I got from al anon that I am for ever greatful for! I know know what serenity is because of al anon! I hope this helped some! I encourage to keep going back at least 5 more meetings to see if its for you! I know for me its the best thing I have ever done for me and my sons! It works if you work it!

God Bless sweetie!

neferkamichael

Crazybabie I wish I knew how to control my anger as well. I can get there real quick over nothing. If you figure it out, please let me know.