Almost gave back into drinking yesterday
Almost gave back into drinking yesterday
Yesterday, day 13, was a very tough day for me sobriety wise.
I had been thinking about how since I've been sober I've been putting off so many things,
have felt really depressed and can barely sleep at all at night.
It's so hard to be motivated to do anything other then what I absolutely MUST do.
My mind is also in a fog so I sometimes forget to do the things
I am supposed to do..or have an appointment for.
Also started seeing how lonely I really am and how many friends I lost
from making alcohol my best bud...I also have been avoiding some friends,
since they are still addicts.
When I was laying on my couch last night in tears trying to
figure out how to carry on with almost no sleep, a messy house, etc.
I started to try to remind myself why I wanted to stop drinking.
I thought about how I just keep getting sicker in my alcoholism as time goes on, and how it just gets harder to stop.
I thought about how I've gone this far and if I go back for a supposed "one night of drinking" it can turn into many,
many nights and I will have to start at miserable day one all over again.
And I don't want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas time smashed and hung over
....numbing out and forgetting what is supposed to be a good time of the year.
After all that I decided to NOT drink, pray and go to bed.
I just wish I had more happiness and motivation to do things
...this is so hard for me... :/
I had been thinking about how since I've been sober I've been putting off so many things,
have felt really depressed and can barely sleep at all at night.
It's so hard to be motivated to do anything other then what I absolutely MUST do.
My mind is also in a fog so I sometimes forget to do the things
I am supposed to do..or have an appointment for.
Also started seeing how lonely I really am and how many friends I lost
from making alcohol my best bud...I also have been avoiding some friends,
since they are still addicts.
When I was laying on my couch last night in tears trying to
figure out how to carry on with almost no sleep, a messy house, etc.
I started to try to remind myself why I wanted to stop drinking.
I thought about how I just keep getting sicker in my alcoholism as time goes on, and how it just gets harder to stop.
I thought about how I've gone this far and if I go back for a supposed "one night of drinking" it can turn into many,
many nights and I will have to start at miserable day one all over again.
And I don't want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas time smashed and hung over
....numbing out and forgetting what is supposed to be a good time of the year.
After all that I decided to NOT drink, pray and go to bed.
I just wish I had more happiness and motivation to do things
...this is so hard for me... :/
Last edited by Angel8; 11-09-2012 at 10:11 AM. Reason: Typo
At 13 days, it is hard. You did what most of us did around 13 days. Held on and prayed. You got through it. Thats what it is all about in the beginning. It gets easier over time. I tell people that I slept through my first two weeks of sobriety. Its honestly true. If I thought I was tempted to drink, I held off and went to bed earlier.
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