badger1172

Is it normal to feel fear so soon about going through recovery? I have this overwhelming sense of fear and feel shaky (although I'm not actually shaking) and I don't know what exactly it is I'm afraid of, but I know it has to do with not having anymore beer. But, why exactly am I afraid of that if that's what it is?

dontask

I'd guess the idea of not having alcohol as a crutch is what your really fearing. Feeling like u gotta face everything on ur own is scary, and it's hard to actually picture urself being happy without using ur drug of choice.

is this ur first time getting clean? The way I always thought about it was we all lived for a period of time when we didn't use any drugs or alcohol to help us deal with our ****, so it's not like you can't do it...

badger1172

It's actually not the first time, but it is the first time trying knowing I HAVE to this time. That's just the mindset I'm in. This forum is already me much more than previous attempts just being to voice what I'm going through and hearing back from others who share the same things. For a long time I kept thinking what I was going through was unique or something. Pretty silly of me.

I was going to get back on the weight bench and do some cardio this morning before going into work, but I just feel a little to shaky to dive into that just yet. Hopefully tomorrow morning I feel more ambitious.

Also, I think you actually hit the nail on the head about not having beer to fall back on anymore. I hadn't actually thought of it like that, at least not in words or consciously. Now that the source of my fear is identified, I can focus on dealing with it. Just trying to stay steady today...

I just can't comprehend how something like beer could've taken over life like this and for so long. It's hard to process how in the world I could've let that happen not only to myself, but my wife, my folks, my business partners, my work....list goes on. Just shows how many people our actions actually affect and most of the time we're thinking we don't affect anyone because after all we're alone and drinking by ourselves not bothering anybody. Evidentially our absence of actions also affect people around us.

Fandy

the shaky feeling might be a drop in blood glucose levels...alcohol has a LOT of empty sugar calories you've been consuming.

try to take it easy on the exercise for a bit...maybe lighter cardio to relieve your stress and a good stretch. eat small frequent meals, i love soup and it digests easily. your GI tract might be a little "shakey" too for a couple of days.

and congrats of Day 2, we have ALL been there.

badger1172

Well, here we are at the end of what started out as a very shaky 2nd day. Went to work and started interacting with co-workers and customers, basically got busy and the fear just kinda went away. Right now...I have no desire to drink, more desire to crash and go to bed, but we'll see how things feel when I wake up in the morning tomorrow. Hopefully I can work out, lift some weights, and do some cardio. I really do want to get back into that.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, I noticed I was drinking a lot of water tonight at work, and I swear I ate twice; once during my break, and once later on when a co-worker was going on a food run. I'm hungrier now, but could I just be substituting food for the alcohol? And if I am and working out, is that okay? I tend to eat healthy, but now just seem to be eating more...

Twenties

IMO eating more for a temporary time is certainly better than drinking...I mean at least you are getting some nutrition back i guess?? Try lots of water and juice, vitamins, exercise, etc...and yeah I think the shaky feeling and everything else is just missing alcohol as a crutch. But it sure is a bad crutch.

badger1172

I agree about reason I must've felt shaky this morning was because now I actually have to face issues in my life instead "thinking" about them over a case of beer. it is new territory. I don't mind eating more, I guess, since I do want to get back into weightlifting anyway, I just never could stick with it for more than maybe 4-5 weeks because my drinking always got int he way.

It is helping me quite a bit being able to come on here at these forums and and just write about how my day went (even though it's only day 2). I find myself now instead of scheduling my drinking in my head all day to one of planning what I will share with you guys about how I'm getting through or got through my day. At least here in the beginning it helps.

Delilah1

Congratulations on Day 2, the physical stuff gets easier. I remember for some reason in day three I felt very on edge. I still get anxious sometimes, but I find other things to focus on. Tomorrow will be day 30 for me. Still not easy, but taking it one day at a time.

I have been exercising more, I did a rugged maniac race on my second day sober, it was only a 5k, but lots of climbing up and down walls and crawling through pits. It was very difficult for me, but also motivated me to stick with it. I am feeling better physically, but have been going to bed earlier because I am exhausted t the end of the day.

Hang in there and keep reading and posting!!!!