Is this just standard addict behavior or what?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
Is this just standard addict behavior or what?
My Ex, the father of my 2 year old daughter has been really awesome these
last few weeks. He did a ******** detox a few weeks ago but relapsed after
a week so it's kind of weird that he seems so different cause he is using.
So he has a plan about what he is wanting to do next (another treatment),
he is super supportive of me?? I received an eviction notice on halloween,
I have to be out on january 1st, I was really bummed out and a little scared
cause I don't have that much money and I had been planning to stay home
with our daughter for a few more months. He wrote me a check for $5000
and insisted I book a flight to Hawaii (and a hotel room) on his credit card.
He took us out for dinner a few nights ago when I was really stressed out,
met us at the aquarium today. He seems so much more caring, with it and
a lot less selfish/self-centered...
Has he changed? Did the treatment help him even though he is not clean? Or
is he just trying to get me back?
last few weeks. He did a ******** detox a few weeks ago but relapsed after
a week so it's kind of weird that he seems so different cause he is using.
So he has a plan about what he is wanting to do next (another treatment),
he is super supportive of me?? I received an eviction notice on halloween,
I have to be out on january 1st, I was really bummed out and a little scared
cause I don't have that much money and I had been planning to stay home
with our daughter for a few more months. He wrote me a check for $5000
and insisted I book a flight to Hawaii (and a hotel room) on his credit card.
He took us out for dinner a few nights ago when I was really stressed out,
met us at the aquarium today. He seems so much more caring, with it and
a lot less selfish/self-centered...
Has he changed? Did the treatment help him even though he is not clean? Or
is he just trying to get me back?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 462
id go with the latter. i hope you refused his offers, unless he owed you money. or put the cash into an account for you to use on your daughter. refuse the holiday as you should be thinking survival mode right now (and he will prob want to come). dont get suckered in.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Uk
Posts: 764
I thought it was kind of him. Take the money n get yourself somewhere to live.
Think of it as his way of supporting his daughter as she needs a place.
You don't need to get back with him or let him use it as a way of trying to get back woth you.
So accept the money simply as him supporting his daughter.
Hugs xxx
Think of it as his way of supporting his daughter as she needs a place.
You don't need to get back with him or let him use it as a way of trying to get back woth you.
So accept the money simply as him supporting his daughter.
Hugs xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
He doesn't want to come. I booked a flight and hotel for me and our daughter.
I am not considering going back to him at all right now. I am looking for an apartment,
I am very excited to live in the neighbourhood I live in and hope I can find something
nearby.
We were together for 10 years and he didn't think I should be working outside of the
home so I don't feel too bad about him paying for the trip.
As far as the money go... well, the truth is I really should be talking to a lawyer. I bet I
could get a lot more...and maybe it would be the right thing as far as taking care of our
little girl.
I am not considering going back to him at all right now. I am looking for an apartment,
I am very excited to live in the neighbourhood I live in and hope I can find something
nearby.
We were together for 10 years and he didn't think I should be working outside of the
home so I don't feel too bad about him paying for the trip.
As far as the money go... well, the truth is I really should be talking to a lawyer. I bet I
could get a lot more...and maybe it would be the right thing as far as taking care of our
little girl.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Hi February,
It sounds like he has genuine concern for you and your daughter; also it sounds like he is enjoying the time he has been spending with the both of you. I would accept his helping out financially, and the gift of a vacation as a loving /caring gesture. If I recall from your earlier posts, there is a consistent pattern with him wanting to be near both of you – except then the focus was more on him because of his mental state/drug use.
Your right of course, it is also his responsibility to share in the financial care for his daughter. Have you talked to him in the past about contributing monthly, or a lump sum, or setting up some kind of joint account to be used for your daughter and necessary expenses? Before I talked to a lawyer, I would try to handle it between the both of you first.
Feel sort of obligated to share this last bit of what I worry about. I know he was very depressed after the ******** treatment, felt mentally /physically ill so he started using again, and then felt bad about that; got depressed. At one point you said he talked about ending his life if he was unable to figure out a way to clean up. And you mentioned he had other health problems also…
So, it may just be that he is feeling hopeful about starting the new treatment plan, realizing there are options, and various types of help available; this is what I hope, and it is so true !!! But, I would also watch his mental state in regards to self harm possibilities because he seems very prone to depression. Upcoming attempts will be genuine, but Im wondering if he hasn’t drawn a line in the sand regarding what he will try before he truly gives up. I know there is not a lot you can do in that regards, but I would stay alert for possible danger signs going forward. (don’t want to be a bummer here, but just felt obligated to share those concerns).
You and your daughter deserve a relaxing vacation (especially in a beautiful locale), so enjoy that time spent together & let it help revitalize. And it is great news that you can now look for an apartment in the location that is best for the both of you.
Keep us posted on how all of you are doing.
Sending prayers to the whole family.
It sounds like he has genuine concern for you and your daughter; also it sounds like he is enjoying the time he has been spending with the both of you. I would accept his helping out financially, and the gift of a vacation as a loving /caring gesture. If I recall from your earlier posts, there is a consistent pattern with him wanting to be near both of you – except then the focus was more on him because of his mental state/drug use.
Your right of course, it is also his responsibility to share in the financial care for his daughter. Have you talked to him in the past about contributing monthly, or a lump sum, or setting up some kind of joint account to be used for your daughter and necessary expenses? Before I talked to a lawyer, I would try to handle it between the both of you first.
Feel sort of obligated to share this last bit of what I worry about. I know he was very depressed after the ******** treatment, felt mentally /physically ill so he started using again, and then felt bad about that; got depressed. At one point you said he talked about ending his life if he was unable to figure out a way to clean up. And you mentioned he had other health problems also…
So, it may just be that he is feeling hopeful about starting the new treatment plan, realizing there are options, and various types of help available; this is what I hope, and it is so true !!! But, I would also watch his mental state in regards to self harm possibilities because he seems very prone to depression. Upcoming attempts will be genuine, but Im wondering if he hasn’t drawn a line in the sand regarding what he will try before he truly gives up. I know there is not a lot you can do in that regards, but I would stay alert for possible danger signs going forward. (don’t want to be a bummer here, but just felt obligated to share those concerns).
You and your daughter deserve a relaxing vacation (especially in a beautiful locale), so enjoy that time spent together & let it help revitalize. And it is great news that you can now look for an apartment in the location that is best for the both of you.
Keep us posted on how all of you are doing.
Sending prayers to the whole family.
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