illiga

I'm 20 years old, and dealing with the aftermath of my dads addiction to heroin.

I have not told any of my friends about this, and don't have anyone to talk to about it.

His addiction has caused my parents to split up, our family to lose our house, him to have stolen money, he lost his job...it goes on and on.

Although he's clean now, I still find myself bothered by this, and I feel like it's affecting my relationships with my friends, and my school. My university offers counselling, but I don't know if I'm the type of person who should seek counselling. I understand that there are alanon groups etc. that I could join, but I've looked into it and I'm not able to make it to the meetings.

I have considered counselling, but the thought of it makes me incredibly nervous, like I would be judged. Any suggestions I would really appreciate. I feel like I'm too young to have to deal with this...

supportforme

illiga - I'm so sorry honey that you are going through this. No one should have to bear the pain and disappointment that you have. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. You're right you are too young to have to deal with this but the fact that you are reaching out shows what a mature individual you are. I was in my 30's the first time I went to therapy and I only started b/c I wanted to get my young son help because of his dad's addiction. I too felt like I would be judged or I wasn't the one with a problem, why would I need help. After the initial session, the therapist told us that our son wasn't the problem, we were. That was about 4 years ago and I still see my therapist every 2 weeks. It was the best decision I've ever made for myself. There is nothing to judge. A young individual that seeks self improvement is someone to be admired; not judged. Good luck and I hope you get the help you need. you deserve it.

LoveMeNow

Oh you won't be judged. You have no shame, blame or control over him! My daughter is almost 19 and she refuses to go to therapy. I would love for her to go. Addiction is a family disease. Please, please love yourself enough to get help now so this doesn't effect the choices you will make in the future.

50% of children of an addict become one or marry one. Stop the cycle of dysfunction in your life!!

Jody675

illega i was 24 the first time i sought out counselling and i was petrified. probably for the same reason as you. although i didnt think much of my counsellor and didnt find him particularly helpful, i have found others to be an immense help. counsellors aren't there to judge or even tell you what your problems are, they are there to guide you to find your own answers and then to help you develop tools for you to find solutions and implement them. so dont be scared. im 41 and when i dont have the tools to help me, i find someone who is qualified to guide me through.

go see someone. it wont make it any worse. and if you dont like them, then dont go back. find someone else. in the meantime, read up on your dads disease, and talk to people on here. and dont be afraid to tell your friends. i was sexually abused as a child, and when i shared this info with my friends, i found out that many of them had been abused somehow too. you arent alone unless you make yourself alone. safety in numbers i say!