OK here I go
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Queensland Australia
Posts: 3
OK here I go
Well its 4am here in Australia and I've been lying in bed awake since 2 because i'm finally going to do something about my drinking.
My parents were alcoholics (father still is) and my mother was most of her life. my siblings and I grew up around copious drinking every night and then turned up a few notches on weekends. Some of my fond childhood memories are of my father dragging my mother to bed by her hair down the hallway screaming, my father throwing a beer bottle at my mums head, splitting it open and leaving a crescent shaped scar for the rest of her life. My father purposely rolling our 4wd wagon to teach mum a lesson putting us all in hospital. My mother vomiting all over the kitchen table at 4 in the afternoon when i brought a friend over from school for the first time. The list could go on but i don't want to bore anybody.
Don't get me wrong though, I love my parents. after Dad rolled the 4wd he started drinking Mid strength beer and things changed significantly. That was when I was about 10. Though the drinking and parties didn't stop, they just ended a little quieter. I have an excellent relationship with my Dad, he is a great grandparent and I consider him my best friend.
My mothers mother had a stroke on Christmas eve (my mums birthday) when mum was 12 at the kitchen table. She survived another 9 months, my Grandfather was also a big drinker and was never home so mum being one of the eldest had to look after her totally incapacitated mother till the day she passed. This traumatized Mum for the rest of her life. She had huge mental health issues and drank the pain away. We lost Mum about 7 years ago at Christmas time.
I'm 38 now and have drinking since my mid teens. My brother and sister lead normal lives and only drink socially. I only drink mid strength beer but I drink at least 8 every night (till i'm ready for bed) on weekends I generally start drinking at about midday or mid afternoon so my consumption levels go up a bit. This costs approximately $100 a week.
I have 2 young boys 5 and 18 months old and an awesome and tolerant wife. I love my life but I seem oblivious to my drinking problem. I should also mention, though i grew up seeing all that violence, I am a calm person and do not carry on like my parents and their friends did.
My wife asked me to see our doctor about cutting down on drinking so I did that and it has had little effect, the doctor just sort of said "so, lets see if you can have a few less beers a night" anyway over the last year we have been trying to update our life insurance policies and mine has been delayed due to past problems with depression, smoking (successfully quit almost 3 years ago now yay) etc. Anyway the doctor had to give my insurers a report on me and it mentioned the drinking, now my policy has been denied due to my drinking habits. I'm pretty pissed about it but it has given me a wake up call.
So I am here for some help, I enjoy drinking but I understand my intake is excessive and by doing something about it I can save some money, improve my health and can get that life insurance policy.
By the way, I'd rather just cut down than stop altogether, I hope this sort of thing is possible.
Thanks for listening
Scott
My parents were alcoholics (father still is) and my mother was most of her life. my siblings and I grew up around copious drinking every night and then turned up a few notches on weekends. Some of my fond childhood memories are of my father dragging my mother to bed by her hair down the hallway screaming, my father throwing a beer bottle at my mums head, splitting it open and leaving a crescent shaped scar for the rest of her life. My father purposely rolling our 4wd wagon to teach mum a lesson putting us all in hospital. My mother vomiting all over the kitchen table at 4 in the afternoon when i brought a friend over from school for the first time. The list could go on but i don't want to bore anybody.
Don't get me wrong though, I love my parents. after Dad rolled the 4wd he started drinking Mid strength beer and things changed significantly. That was when I was about 10. Though the drinking and parties didn't stop, they just ended a little quieter. I have an excellent relationship with my Dad, he is a great grandparent and I consider him my best friend.
My mothers mother had a stroke on Christmas eve (my mums birthday) when mum was 12 at the kitchen table. She survived another 9 months, my Grandfather was also a big drinker and was never home so mum being one of the eldest had to look after her totally incapacitated mother till the day she passed. This traumatized Mum for the rest of her life. She had huge mental health issues and drank the pain away. We lost Mum about 7 years ago at Christmas time.
I'm 38 now and have drinking since my mid teens. My brother and sister lead normal lives and only drink socially. I only drink mid strength beer but I drink at least 8 every night (till i'm ready for bed) on weekends I generally start drinking at about midday or mid afternoon so my consumption levels go up a bit. This costs approximately $100 a week.
I have 2 young boys 5 and 18 months old and an awesome and tolerant wife. I love my life but I seem oblivious to my drinking problem. I should also mention, though i grew up seeing all that violence, I am a calm person and do not carry on like my parents and their friends did.
My wife asked me to see our doctor about cutting down on drinking so I did that and it has had little effect, the doctor just sort of said "so, lets see if you can have a few less beers a night" anyway over the last year we have been trying to update our life insurance policies and mine has been delayed due to past problems with depression, smoking (successfully quit almost 3 years ago now yay) etc. Anyway the doctor had to give my insurers a report on me and it mentioned the drinking, now my policy has been denied due to my drinking habits. I'm pretty pissed about it but it has given me a wake up call.
So I am here for some help, I enjoy drinking but I understand my intake is excessive and by doing something about it I can save some money, improve my health and can get that life insurance policy.
By the way, I'd rather just cut down than stop altogether, I hope this sort of thing is possible.
Thanks for listening
Scott
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 28
Moderation has been impossible for me, unfortunately. I love drinking so much, one is never enough...or 4-5. If you're truly sincere about quitting, you should make a plan to never drink again. Some of us will never get the pleasure of enjoying alcohol the same way normal people do, but it is what it is and there's a great big fulfilling life out there just waiting for you to realize it. I encourage you to break the cycle no matter how impossible it feels, bc the alternative is very bleak.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
If you're an alcoholic, moderation is not possible. If you're not an alcoholic, then you should be able to moderate, no problem. Why not give it a try? Try stopping drinking for a month and see what happens.
Unfortunately, we cross an invisible line with alcoholism and once we do that, there is no going back.
I hope you decide to stop drinking and live your life to the fullest.
Unfortunately, we cross an invisible line with alcoholism and once we do that, there is no going back.
I hope you decide to stop drinking and live your life to the fullest.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Well I can say this Scott.
The biggest lesson to me as I traveled along on my journey through sobriety?
For me, alcohol is always present in some way, shape, form or fashion in my mind.
For my husband, he could care less, either way about alcohol.
Its nothing big for him.
That's how I really knew I had a problem with alcohol. Because I was either always running as fast as I could away from it or running to it and doing anything possible to be with it.
Good luck to you!
The biggest lesson to me as I traveled along on my journey through sobriety?
For me, alcohol is always present in some way, shape, form or fashion in my mind.
For my husband, he could care less, either way about alcohol.
Its nothing big for him.
That's how I really knew I had a problem with alcohol. Because I was either always running as fast as I could away from it or running to it and doing anything possible to be with it.
Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Welcome, HollowMan. You can find a lot of information and support on this site, search around and do some reading. Most everyone on this site tried but could not manage moderation. Hope you can decide what you want to do and find your way to the life you want with your wife and children without the heavy weight of worrying about alcohol's shadow.
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Welcome. I am only a few days in (5). I would suggest finding the new in November forum. It is full of people who are just getting started or restarted. The names in there will start to look familiar and you will get lots of support.
Here is the path to the forum if that helps:
SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery > Class Of November 2012
Here is the path to the forum if that helps:
SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery > Class Of November 2012
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
What happened with the cutting down you tried with your doctor Scott?
My drinking was quite similar to yours and I did a cutting down thing with a counsellor years ago. Needless to say seeing as I am here that it didn't work. But I was still insistent that I could cut down if I really needed to. I was turned down for counselling due to my drinking and I was furious because I never really got out of control drunk and felt perfectly capable of understanding things while I was still drinking and would be able to cut back when x y or z changed or I felt better or had less parties to go to...
Anyway, the point is that when I finally stopped drinking completely my entire mindset changed and has continued to do so the more time I've been sober. I'd really recommend a period of sobriety just to get some perspective. I was miserable when I was cutting down because I had a bit of what I wanted more of... it consumed me, and when I gave up completely I got to see the real impact that alcohol had on my life.
Welcome to SR x
My drinking was quite similar to yours and I did a cutting down thing with a counsellor years ago. Needless to say seeing as I am here that it didn't work. But I was still insistent that I could cut down if I really needed to. I was turned down for counselling due to my drinking and I was furious because I never really got out of control drunk and felt perfectly capable of understanding things while I was still drinking and would be able to cut back when x y or z changed or I felt better or had less parties to go to...
Anyway, the point is that when I finally stopped drinking completely my entire mindset changed and has continued to do so the more time I've been sober. I'd really recommend a period of sobriety just to get some perspective. I was miserable when I was cutting down because I had a bit of what I wanted more of... it consumed me, and when I gave up completely I got to see the real impact that alcohol had on my life.
Welcome to SR x
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Well you heard it all from us alcoholics, if your one moderation is nothing but a pipe dream. It is progressive and will only get worse if you continue.
Welcome aboard and just thinking about a change is a great start..
Welcome aboard and just thinking about a change is a great start..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi and welcome Scott
I think those who can cut down do...those who can't need to face facts.
I tried for 20 years to control my drinking and failed.
I finally gave up on drinking altogether.
It meant a lot of changes but I haven't regretted it for a minute, and neither have my loved ones.
Don't waste 20 years on it like I did.
D
I think those who can cut down do...those who can't need to face facts.
I tried for 20 years to control my drinking and failed.
I finally gave up on drinking altogether.
It meant a lot of changes but I haven't regretted it for a minute, and neither have my loved ones.
Don't waste 20 years on it like I did.
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome to the family, Scott!
I agree with Dee. I tried for even longer than he did to control the amounts I drank, and it never ever worked even once. Each time I picked up, off I went - into never never land. Danger and uncertainty were part of my life during those drinking years. I had to stop playing with sobriety and admit I couldn't touch the stuff. I held on for too long to the idea that I could have 'a few' once in awhile. There were never 'a few' for me.
Glad you are taking action and have the desire to reclaim your life. You won't regret it, Scott.
I agree with Dee. I tried for even longer than he did to control the amounts I drank, and it never ever worked even once. Each time I picked up, off I went - into never never land. Danger and uncertainty were part of my life during those drinking years. I had to stop playing with sobriety and admit I couldn't touch the stuff. I held on for too long to the idea that I could have 'a few' once in awhile. There were never 'a few' for me.
Glad you are taking action and have the desire to reclaim your life. You won't regret it, Scott.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Welcome Scott to our family.
If your drinking is keeping you awake in the early hours then it seems like it is has become a problem to you.
Your story is not unique, we all have our stories.
I should imagine not drinking again strikes you with fear... I felt the same.
My life is miles better without booze.
But you have to try for yourself....
I agree with Anna, try 30 days, 60 days or even 90 days with no drink and see how it goes....maybe limit yourself every night or just for weekends...for most of us, me included, it did not work.
If your drinking is keeping you awake in the early hours then it seems like it is has become a problem to you.
Your story is not unique, we all have our stories.
I should imagine not drinking again strikes you with fear... I felt the same.
My life is miles better without booze.
But you have to try for yourself....
I agree with Anna, try 30 days, 60 days or even 90 days with no drink and see how it goes....maybe limit yourself every night or just for weekends...for most of us, me included, it did not work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Queensland Australia
Posts: 3
Thanks everyone for your kind replies, I'm a week in now and all I've done is to push back the time I start drinking till about 7:30 when the kids go to bed. I'm averaging 4-5 beers a night instead of an average of 10 and when I've had enough to the point of no return I tell myself it's time for a glass of water, after I have started the water I am avoiding the fridge and just drinking water for the rest of the night. So far I'm not struggling to achieve this, I am just treating it as though i'm breaking a habit.
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