One week sober today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bisbee az
Posts: 11
One week sober today
I am a heavy drinker, have been for about seven years now, since I entered high school. I do other stuff on occasion. Coke, weed, xanax. But my problem is definitely alcohol. I've tried to quit off and on for a few years, since a really destructive/controlling relationship really kicked up my drinking.
Enough about my past. I was doing really strong all week. I felt good, strong, and like I was going to succeed. Tonight... I freaked out. I'm in a pretty unstable relationship.. Saw him facebooking some girl, and flipped. I started shaking, semi anxiety attack.. It took a phone call from a good friend, writing, and a run to calm me down and keep me from driving to the bar.
I drink to cope with my problems, I feel like I am alone in the world aside from my mom. I drink to deal with really bad social anxiety and the feeling of constantly being judged and watched. I was homeschooled until the age of thirteen. my crucial socialization years were spent in church, with one or two friends my age a year. When I got to high school, it was so overwhelming and terrifying I was a loner. I cut myself, kept to myself and really close friends, and was considered either shy or stuck up. I finally fit in with a group of stoners. Thats around when I started drinking. That is where I met the first love of my life.. Who I later introduced to coke. He killed himself shortly after.
I realize I may need some help with this. My only sober friends live two hours away. My other friends have completely cut off contact with me since I stopped drinking. I work in a restaurant. We are rewarded with after shift drinks. Everyone goes out together to bond. My entire town revolves around the bar scene. Exercise has been my only escape. I literally would have nothing else to do now. Oh and I started going to school.
I'm tired of using alcohol as a crutch. I want to be able to walk into a room of people without having to take a shot first.
No idea how this forum works. Advice and encouragement are really appreciated!
Enough about my past. I was doing really strong all week. I felt good, strong, and like I was going to succeed. Tonight... I freaked out. I'm in a pretty unstable relationship.. Saw him facebooking some girl, and flipped. I started shaking, semi anxiety attack.. It took a phone call from a good friend, writing, and a run to calm me down and keep me from driving to the bar.
I drink to cope with my problems, I feel like I am alone in the world aside from my mom. I drink to deal with really bad social anxiety and the feeling of constantly being judged and watched. I was homeschooled until the age of thirteen. my crucial socialization years were spent in church, with one or two friends my age a year. When I got to high school, it was so overwhelming and terrifying I was a loner. I cut myself, kept to myself and really close friends, and was considered either shy or stuck up. I finally fit in with a group of stoners. Thats around when I started drinking. That is where I met the first love of my life.. Who I later introduced to coke. He killed himself shortly after.
I realize I may need some help with this. My only sober friends live two hours away. My other friends have completely cut off contact with me since I stopped drinking. I work in a restaurant. We are rewarded with after shift drinks. Everyone goes out together to bond. My entire town revolves around the bar scene. Exercise has been my only escape. I literally would have nothing else to do now. Oh and I started going to school.
I'm tired of using alcohol as a crutch. I want to be able to walk into a room of people without having to take a shot first.
No idea how this forum works. Advice and encouragement are really appreciated!
Hi and welcome hcantral
if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking can't make unstable relationships any more stable, I'm afraid.
You'll find a lot of sober support and encouragement here
D
if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking can't make unstable relationships any more stable, I'm afraid.
You'll find a lot of sober support and encouragement here
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 16
i'm a newcomer, too. so i understand the next to reach out with support at this time. i tend to isolate, which probably doesn't help. good for you for staying away from the bar!! sidenote: my boyfriend and i don't access to each other's Facebook pages. that may be part of the reason we've been together for eleven years (today is our anniversary!) with each other's help and support, i know we can do this!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bisbee az
Posts: 11
I actually have heard of a lot of couples doing that. I'm not so sure I could handle not being able to look at his facebook. I'm a ridiculously jealous person. I'm always certain I'm being cheated on or lied to in some way. I hate that part of me as well. Another thing that drinking calms down!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Owatonna, MN
Posts: 6
good for you for reaching out!.. im still fairly new to recovery but i as well know when it's a good time to reach out. i'm from a small town of a thousand people with five bars. drinking is the lifestyle there. i was lucky enough to move out of there however to a larger town with meetings every day and plenty of sober people. may be extreme.. but sometimes we need to take extreme measures to get the results we are searching for. i wish you the best of luck!
much love- jess
much love- jess
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