Looking back on denial
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Savannah
Posts: 190
Looking back on denial
Just saw a photo of my brother from 5 years ago & he was so high. He was so skinny, his eyes were huge, pupils enormous, & he was sweaty. How did I not see it then. Antyone else question how they didn't see it when the signs were right in front of you?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
Been there, done that!
When my son was a teenager, I was facing head on that something was amiss but didn't see it. I didn't want to see it. My son left photographs laying around in our living room of all places. He and his Dad were on the road taking his elder brother out of state to start a new job. I remember seeing the photographs but not picking them up to look at them. I was ignoring them. Then I "heard" a little voice say "Look at those photos." I picked them up and they were of him and his friends having a drug/alcohol fest. Right there in those pictures!
I decided to snoop around his room and found drug paraphernalia--some of which were seeds in a plastic baggy. Marijuana? He told me later that he and his friends tried to grow marijuana (unsuccessfully) so that's probably what it was. I stuffed it in my jeans pocket to show my son when he and his dad returned. They were coming in on an airplane and I was picking them up. There I was waiting on them in the airport with a bag of something I wasn't supposed to have in my pocket! Afterwards I thought to myself what if the drug sniffing dog had walked up to me? That would have been awkward!
As sad as it can get, I must admit there were humorous times, too.
When my son was a teenager, I was facing head on that something was amiss but didn't see it. I didn't want to see it. My son left photographs laying around in our living room of all places. He and his Dad were on the road taking his elder brother out of state to start a new job. I remember seeing the photographs but not picking them up to look at them. I was ignoring them. Then I "heard" a little voice say "Look at those photos." I picked them up and they were of him and his friends having a drug/alcohol fest. Right there in those pictures!
I decided to snoop around his room and found drug paraphernalia--some of which were seeds in a plastic baggy. Marijuana? He told me later that he and his friends tried to grow marijuana (unsuccessfully) so that's probably what it was. I stuffed it in my jeans pocket to show my son when he and his dad returned. They were coming in on an airplane and I was picking them up. There I was waiting on them in the airport with a bag of something I wasn't supposed to have in my pocket! Afterwards I thought to myself what if the drug sniffing dog had walked up to me? That would have been awkward!
As sad as it can get, I must admit there were humorous times, too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 72
My AB hid his drug use from me for 20 years. Talk about the feelings of guilt and stupidity I have had about this. Now when I think back over certain times and things he said it seems like it should have been so apparent. How did I not know?? I have tried hard to let these feelings go, but it isn't easy. I feel like such a fool. I now try to tell myself that shoulda, woulda, coulda isn't going to get me anywhere. All I can do now is focus on the future.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Omgosh, I used to get my husband a few pain pills here and there....because his back was hurting soooooo bad. 
I look back and wonder what was I thinking????? I was clueless about addiction. I had spent a few years "partying" and "experimenting" back in high school and college and just stopped. It wasn't fun anymore and it was effortless. I guess I assumed he could too.
I look back and wonder what was I thinking????? I was clueless about addiction. I had spent a few years "partying" and "experimenting" back in high school and college and just stopped. It wasn't fun anymore and it was effortless. I guess I assumed he could too.
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