supportforme

Before last week exAH didn't see the boys for 2 weeks - came here last Sun to pick up his mail for 5 min. My boys were devastated. He wouldn't stay to spend time with the kids. On Mon, we were hit with a hurricane - we lost power on Sunday nite. My mom and brother were staying with us. We had family friends show up at our door that lost everything and they were staying with us. Our oldest son's birthday was on Friday -all he wanted was to see his dad. By the grace of God, exAH found the strength to do the right thing and was able to get to us to bring much needed ice and gasoline. We live in NJ and I do believe he was genuinely concerned since we live close to the shore and it was hell trying to communicate with anyone. He showed up on Friday with the bags of ice, gasoline and cake for our boy. The power came on as we were all eating and my son said it was his best gift ever to have dad and power. I could tell he was not under the influence so I told him that he could stay with us until he got power back. I couldn't consciously let him leave knowing that he had no power and I opened my door to others in their time of need. It is now Tuesday and he, my brother & mother still have no power and are staying with us. I have to say I'm shocked at how we are all getting along. However, as I type this I can hear him snoring downstairs and I know this is going to sound crazy but in the past he only snored when he was on the pills. It is 20 degrees and the estimate is that they should have power by Saturday. He is acting normal in all other ways and not showing any signs of being under the influence other than the snoring. I don't know if it's my codependency issues or the emotional impact of what we are living in but I'm really having a hard time right now. There are so many people that have lost everything and I don't have the heart to turn anyone away. Strength needed from my SR friends please.....

LoveMeNow

I was worried about you because of the storm.

You have a great heart and are a wonderful person and mother.

Whether he is using or not, he will be gone soon and you are showing your kids how compassionate you are. Hang in there and ride out this storm too. You can do this!!

supportforme

Thanks LMN. I'm just having a tough nite. I'm grateful for how fortunate we are.

LoveMeNow

I am sure it's been a longgggggg 10 days (?) and you are emotionally and physically drained. Be gentle with yourself and try and get some well needed rest.

Jody675

this news hit the news in australia too...glad you and your family are safe. i think i would have done the same as you. in times in need, no matter what my ex has done, it still isnt worth me holding a grudge during disasters!

Anaya

I'm sorry to hear that you and your family were affected by the hurricane. Hang in there and take care.

supportforme

Thanks for the support. There are people that have lost their lives and homes - I feel petty asking for strength but this is my only outlet and I'm just trying to keep my sanity. Thank you all for your kind words but my issues pale in comparison to others- Thanks again. This too shall pass and I know I will put my boundries back in place once this other storm moves out

LoveMeNow

Your sanity is not petty!! We are here for you!!

P.S. There is no doubt you still have some firm boundaries in place.