veryready

Ok I have argued and debated and schemed with myself long enough about how I am going to manage my drinking. Maybe finally realize its just not possible. If I have a drink I will always drink more than I planned. Sometimes I stop, but it is very unfulfilling and way too much of a mental battle. I wake up many days a week feeling lousy. I have been just lucky to not have really screwed up yet. No DUI etc, just lucky. You guys all know where I'm at. Just had enough. Would go to AA but hate crowds. Thanks. Got lots of motivation just reading in here today. MOnday night football tonight without a beer. It will be worth it in the morning.

Dee74

welcome veryready

yes there's an amazing amount of support and wisdom here - glad to have you with us

D

tinkanman

welcome veryready! you are in good company here. great people full of support. i too will watch monday night football without a beer.....or a hangover tomorrow. you've come to the right place.

Impurrfect

((Veryready)) - Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

veryready

Thanks for the feedback. It looks like there is a lot of great information here. Not sure where to start. Just reading is a big help, but I know I will go a few days or maybe weeks and then tell myself I got this handled. I really don't want to drink anymore. I read some of the stories and I think 'wow' that's a lot to drink, but I if I do have any control over my drinking it is such a draining battle. And man I have done some stupid things in the last six years. I'm sure people see me as more of a drunk than I think they do. I'm so sick of it. It's been 3 days, yesterday very close call, today I'm good and I think tomorrow wil be good, but I want to know how I can get past 2 weeks or 2 months without feeling like I have been cured. Is that always the case or are people different. I am pretty sure I won't drink tomorrow, but if I go 2 weeks... been there before. I have even wondered if stopping drinking is bad because I know I will start again and then it will be even worse. Afraid to stop because I am afraid what will happen when I start again. How stupid is that.

Krissy1965

Hi veryready, welcome to the forum. I am new here also and there's a lot of great information here, and lots of people just like us.
I'm on day 2, again, have tried So many times over the years to quit, and I can totally relate to your story. I am just so tired of it all too, no dui's or legal trouble, no broken relationships....but those are all yets.
I've had black-outs before, and that's a guarentee that any, or all, of those bad things can happen.
I also know what you mean about feeling cured after a time of abstinence. I too, start thinking maybe I'm not so bad, or I lose the motivation all together, almost forget the importance of quitting and why I decided to. It's a vicious cycle.
It is mentally exhausting, and I hope you can find the answers you need here. I plan to stick around and finally rid myself of this demon.
Stay strong, we are all with you.

Natom

Hi veryready,

First, welcome to the forums. You're in the right place. Secondly, I like how you know that even though you don't have a DUI it's purely luck that you haven't. There's a word you will hear in recovery when you say something like 'I never tried that drug'. That word is 'yet', and it's a very good word to put on the end of sentences when it feels like you are trying to justify something. I wish you the best of luck on this new chapter and journey in your life.

Natom.

veryready

Voted today without a headache. I don't remember 4 years ago, but chances are I voted with a hangover. Weird I wake up and my first thought is ugh, headache, coffee and then I remember I didn't drink last night and it's awesome. Really want to make this stick.