elderine

I haven't posted much here but I guess am in need of some reassurance. I just got back from brunch with some friends. I'm only on day 4, more or less doing ok with it, and avoiding bars, but figured brunch would be fine. And I managed to get through it without ordering a mimosa (or 5) but I can't believe how difficult that was, with everyone around me drinking. I tried to enjoy myself but mostly I was just obsessing about not having a drink. I sort of feel proud for not indulging, but at the moment that's washed out by the fatigue and horror at how much effort it required, and these feelings just make me want to rush out to buy my own bottle of champagne right now. Please tell me it gets easier! It's so overwhelming to think that abstaining could be this hard for a long time.

lilgolden73

I am with ya, this is very difficult! Kudos to you for not giving in! Hang in there!

noquickfix41

I dont have many days under my belt on this go round to consider me any sort of an expert..but you did better than I would have on day 4..in that type of a situation. You might consider laying low for a while until you feel stronger. Good job on not falling into the temptation.

elderine

Thanks, everyone. I'm already feeling so much better after spending some time here just now. I'm so glad to have found SR, it really helps to be here.

I do think it's a good idea for me to avoid drinking situations right now, but it's also difficult because so many social events involve booze, and I'm already so isolated. But surely there are better alternatives. And probably I need more friends who aren't drinking all the time!

Sasha4

It get loads easier I promise you.

I am on day 265 and know I might have a momentary lapse when I feel envious of someone going off for a glass of something bubbly to celebrate but then I remind myself.

For me it would not be one, it would be 20...
I would waste the entire day and probably want to sleep after drinking. Then I would probably want to drink more when I woke up.
I would be stricken with anxiety the next day as well as feeling horrific.


Maybe when you get these pangs - play the whole scene out, where it starts, where it ends.
x

MidnightBlue

Hi, Elderine.

I am with you, it is really hard to resist these temptations. I still can't enjoy restaurants because there is always fight between my desire to have a glass of wine (or 3) and common sense and willpower. And this fight spoils everything. I found the way at least to avoid this fight: if I go out, I alway drive. In my country allowed blood alcohol content for drivers is zero. It means I can't even smell alco, if I don't want to lose my driver's license. Well, at least no argument with myself. I can't drink, so concentrate on other things. And after all it turns out that I have fun.

Have a good day and congrats on Day 4. Keep it up.

Parrotice23

Good job elderine! It's hard when suddenly it seems like everyone around us - in person, through social media, even cooking and TV shows are talking about drinking. I guess it's like buying a new car and suddenly you see that car everywhere you look. It's also a good reminder of who you don't want to be. I see friends that helped me get clean the first time I bottomed out, who saw how bad it could get, who even have a previous DUI... and they still seem to be driving around drunk on Saturday nights. I don't get it, but then they couldn't get the level of my addiction either.

Anyway, good job and just keep trying to stay on your path! And keep posting if you need help or need to vent!

Sapling

I know I couldn't put myself through that on day four....That would be like torturing myself. Focus on recovery...What's ahead of you....What you can do....Not what you can't do. It does get better...Every day you don't drink...You will get better.

Delilah1

Kudos to you for resisting today. I am closing out Day 24 and that would be difficult for me. With three kiddos I don't get to brunch often, however, mimosas were the reason I always loved brunch. I will need to change that mentality, or make sure I go with the kids!

elderine

Again, thanks so much for the support today, everyone. It really helped. I didn't feel it earlier, but I'm so glad to be sober tonight. I've been so productive, getting ready for the week and doing all sorts of things (laundry, cooking, cleaning, catching up on errands) that never would have happened otherwise. It feels great, and finally I am feeling proud to have abstained today - the effort was worth it. Again, many thanks!

Dee74

Hey elderine

I was usually barely out of bed on day 4...it's great you made it through that - but don;t beat yourself...that was a heck of a big bite to swallow for day 4

I stayed away from everything to do with alcohol for a long time. I needed to put clear distance between who I sued to be and the life I used to lead and the future I wanted for myself.

Noone needs to be a hermit - but I think we do meed to be smart about the situations we put ourselves in for a while.

It took me a few months to shake off my old ideas and to really know I could be sober, regardless of the situation or the company around me - your mileage may vary - but for me, those few months were a great investment in my recovery and my life today

D

Splasho

Congrats! Well done! And thanks for posting this. As I begin my 2nd day with determination, I know things like this will come up. That's what's so great about this sight. Through each other we can find strength and common bounds. I like knowing what I have to look forward to, helps to be prepared. Again, kudos on abstaining!

least

Yes, it gets easier! It took me several months but by then I wasn't obsessed about 'not drinking' and it was becoming normal to not drink. Keep at it, it gets better.

jennikate

It definitely does get better! Do you have any support in recovery? That has helped me a lot.

Cascabel

Good for you for not giving in to the temptation. It will get better if you just hang in there. Personally, I draw a parallel between fitness and sobriety. Sobriety and abstinence are like muscles; they all get stronger the more they are exercised.

hypochondriac

It gets easier Elderine. I had social events I had to go to in early recovery and it wasn't fun. It is much easier now, but I needed a lot of time to myself to feel okay about going out. I try as much as possible to meet up with friends in the day for coffee and other sober activities so I can side step the whole alcohol thing. If you still feel isolated you could go to some AA meetings. Tbh sometimes other alcoholics are the only people I can bear to be around. Well done on day 4! x

elderine

Again, thanks everyone. It really helps. Jennikate - well I'm trying to find more support in recovery. I've been going to AA sporadically and that helps, although I find it a bit daunting to make friends there. That's a goal, though. It's been hard recently because most of my non/light-drinking friends have recently moved out of town. So far SR has been really helpful to me, but I know that I need more people in the rest of my life to help.

I appreciate hearing others' perspective and stories. I think I'm going to try to avoid all alcohol situations - including brunch, and possibly restaurants - for a couple of weeks at least, until I'm more secure in my abstinence.

sissy07

It gets easier I or would not have made it. I wish I had more time to reply, but the jist of what I want to say is stick with it, and stay away from where alcohol is part of the picture. Best wishes - take care, and hang in there. You are doing the right and brave thing.