goldiilocks

How do you avoid the temptation on the weekend? Here I am feeling hung over and crappy but yet the want to drink is so strong, even though I know it will just make me feel worse.... I like myself much better during the week. My weekends are a blur, and usually full of shame.

Sazzle

Crazily enough I used to look forward to weekends as my binge drinking was mid week after work. Out of control drinking, feeling terrible at work the next day, but having dry weekends.

I have no words of wisdom. I'm on day 8 and its my 2nd weekend, gone the whole week without a drink after work and I feel better already. What is spurring me on is that I don't want to go back to feeling groggy and taking days to get the booze out my system again.

Perhaps just (I say 'just!) string enough days together, hard as it may be until you enjoy feeling better. It took me to day 6 before I stopped sweating, heart palps and feeling flat.

I wish you all the best, there is a better way to feel out there and it's available to you if you ignore the cravings.

S x

goldiilocks

Four months ago I ordered the book "Rational Recovery A new cure for Substance Addiction" because AA meetings arent for me. Found that out over a year ago. I'm agnostic and I'm more the "sciency type" I guess you could say. I do not feel comfortable putting myself and my life or horrible things i've been through out there on the line for scrutiny.

The problem is, I read the first three chapters of this book, and it sounds good and all, but so good that I can't bring myself to read the rest of it because part of me wants to keep drinking. Anyway I guess i'm not really looking for advice or even comfort, although I will hear it out if given. I suppose I just wanted a place to vent. Thanks.

artsoul

The first weekends were the hardest for me, too. Most of it was "in my head" though.... it was just the idea that other people were out having "fun" and I wasn't. Ironically, I did most of my drinking alone, so I'd never worried about what other people were doing with their weekends before that.....

It helps to know where the temptation is coming from. If you can see what thoughts/feelings compel you to drink, you can start challenging them and looking for other ways to address those things.

Taking it a day at a time (staying in the moment) really helped me, too.

goldiilocks

For me its the thought that if I stop drinking I will no longer be able to be around my friends. Silly, I know. But when all you and your friends do on the weekend is drink, you wonder what will become of the friendship when you take the alcohol equation away. I don't know if I am ready for the loneliness.

artsoul

That's always the problem - our thoughts and fears keep us stuck. I kept drinking for a long time because the idea of being sober was so terrifying....."how would I feel", "what would I do to entertain myself," "what about being with friends", "what about the holidays/vacations".... etc. etc....

When you look at it like that, it's overwhelming, but when you actually live sober day to day, you find out that those fears weren't a fraction of what you made them out to be in your head. (If they were, I don't think any of us would be happy about being sober!)

Casmasta

Glad to hear from you, Gold... I have been thinking about you!

I came up with excuses all the time about what would happen if I quit drinking.
I always had something.. "Well, there's a wedding next month.. I'll quit after that. I can't just not drink now, because my tolerance will be low, and I'll lose control there. So I'll keep this at an even drinking pace until then.."

I've come to recognize that as an addictive voice.
I still have all of the friends that mattered since quitting.
They're still there, and answer my calls when I make them.
I've found, too.. That a lot of them had gotten bored with that lifestyle, and when I make sober suggestions for activities, most of them leap at the idea.

Travel, farms, dinners, movies, plays, concerts.

I just went to a concert a couple of days ago with a friend who was drinking, actually..
And realized that she missed a lot of it, due to bathroom/smoking/drink trips.
She even missed a cascade of streamers.
Best part of the show.

I think when you're ready, you'll quit.
It took me 4 years to bargain like you're doing now..
"I want to quit, but.."
"I should slow down, but this weekend ____ is happening."

It becomes easier, like Art said.. Once you just start living sober day to day.

Good luck!!!

hypochondriac

For me I realised that I was the problem, not my friends. Well, me and alcohol. None of my friends drank like me, very few anyway, and it is perfectly possible for me to socialise with them without alcohol being the main focus in the way it was for me. Tonight for example I am going to a club with a friend, I won't drink and he will probably have a couple. But it has taken a long time for me to be comfortable with this. I had to avoid going out early on to get comfortable being sober. Maybe focus on getting and being sober first before you worry what will happen to your social life. It will sort itself out naturally x

goldiilocks

Thank you hypo. Self realization moment: I am the one who always brings the wine or beer. My friends are just happy I came over and will gladly drink it if I bring it but for every 1 glass they have I have 3. They are smokers more than anything, and I do not like weed unless I am drunk because otherwise I get too introspective. I fear that if I visit them without alcohol it will be boring and I will have no one to blame but myself.

Casmasta... Thank you. Just for messaging me and being there and CARING. I am sorry I have not yet gotten back to your messages, but I can not express enough how great it feels to have someone concerned about me, especially when it feels as though no one else in my life does. I appreciate that.

Sazzle

I get that! I'm scared too. I did meet friends Friday lunch and had a tomato juice. Told then I've given up booze for 'No'vember and they took it. It's one day at a time for me and one month at a time for them. At Christmas I'll 'be on antibiotics' until I am ready to tell them. One friend has already said they want to give up but I'm not going to tell them I'm planning on total sobriety yet. At the moment I'm doing what I NEED to do.

I have a hypnotic mp3 that I'm going to dig out later. I have been to 2 AA meetings one great, one terrible! I think I'm going to throw all the resources I have at my drinking until something sticks. I've been walking, batch cooking & film watching as distractions.

I'm staying in watching films while all my friends are in the park watching fireworks. My resolve is high at the mo, but I'm in no doubt I'll need proper support at some point

All we can do is keep doing & take it one day at a time. 'Never again' and 'forever' scare the living bejeezers out if me!

S x

Casmasta

I'm just glad that you're still out there, and still trying!

When I first quit, Sazzle, I said those things to my friends, too..
"I need a break." "I'm quitting for April." That sort of thing.
I don't think I was ready to even admit that I should quit forever..
And really, I don't think I knew that I should quit forever until I was about two months into it. I don't think I fully was admitting to myself what a horrible problem it had become in my life.

After a while, when friends would ask when I was going to start again, I eased into the..
"I'm thinking this might be a permanent thing.."
They took that, too.

I mean.. Some of them have faded away, the friends..
But I guess I've had all kinds of friendships that have just faded, anyway.

Sazzle

I needed to hear that, thanks. I don't like lying or deceipt but I need to tell a few white lies to get me to 3+ months. January is, ironically, 'No booze Jan' for me & friends. We've done it for years. So that will be 3 months by feb. then I like your approach and I'll tell them it's kinda permanent!

S x

Sazzle

Lol at me just saying I don't like deceipt!! I was the friend who got sneaky doubles in at the bar for me, drank extra wine in between at dinner parties etc.

I'm so in denial LMAO!!

Casmasta

Lol!
I know. I do this whole, "EVERYONE MUST BE FULLY HONEST ALL THE TIME, HOW DARE THEY, I TELL TRUTHS."
Nevermind about the 8ball I consumed last weekend that made me miss your graduation ceremony.
Ugh.
One day at a time!
One month at a time.