Caldus

I am now 71 days into recovery. It has felt like a life time since the end of August when I quit drinking again (the last two times I only lasted about 15 days). Lately I have been feeling an unbelievable amount of calmness in myself. I'm so used to feeling major anxiety. I just feel a lot "lighter" which is real nice. I'm in AA now, have a sponsor, a home group, and attending meetings 4-5 times a week usually.

On the other hand, I have been feeling a ton of boredom and depression lately. Everything is going great though in my life. It's a night and day difference from what I felt on day 1 this time around. I'm sober enough now to understand how stupid my drinking was and how it does me no good whatsoever.

I always felt like I couldn't get anything done, get plugged into something, or do anything fun unless it involved alcohol. The funny part about it is that I wouldn't even start doing any of those things once I started drinking. I would simply just drink until I pass out. That's the only way I know to drink. I don't get how people can drink in moderation. What's the point I say :P

It's crazy how I am still mentally craving (no longer physically craving) the effect produced by alcohol yet knowing full well that nothing gets accomplished when I drink. It makes life worse. I used to be so interested in women and other things in life and now all I can think about is booze. I guess part of it is that I have a very low libido as a recovering alcoholic at the moment? Did this mindset eventually change for you? How long did it take before you genuinely became more interested in other things in life instead of booze?

I know I won't pick up a drink tonight. I will be going to an AA meeting. I just mentally crave it but at the same time know that it will end up with me passed out on my couch and having a horrible hangover in the morning. All of that for just an hour or two of being super buzzed? What for anyway? Ugh, lol. Just looking for others ahead of me in day/month counts (or anyone really) to chime in about the whole feeling only interested in the effect produced by alcohol and nothing else in life.

MegTheRunner

I haven't been sober as long as you (only 62 days) but exercise has become huge for me. It really helps alleviate anxiety and depression, puts me in a better mood, brings up self esteem bc I've gotten in shape, and helps with sleep. It also is a way to get rid of boredom and release anger, frustration, etc. which I also have alot of trouble with. I read that libido increases over time (could take more than a few months easy though). Info can be found online about it.

Without running and other activities I'd go nuts. Maybe try and find some form of activity to help fill the gaps of boredom. Running, club sports, weights, heavy bag training are some of the things I do to keep me from hitting a wall.

Congrats on 71, best wishes.

Auvers

It sounds like some of the ways you are feeling are similar to the way I felt up to about 3 months, and then gradually lessening. I am just under 5 months. The surprising calmness which I came to realize was a numbed out lack of interest or enjoyment of anything was like a fog. It seemed that without alcohol that I did not have the capacity for laughter or finding anything humorous, even though I had been able to laugh easily with or without a drink in hand. Turns out it was not the lack of alcohol producing that effect but the prolonged withdrawal. Sure hope you will find your zest and interests returning soon.