Jbright

Hello everyone,
My name is jasmine and I have never done this before so bare with me . I havebeen married to my husband for 3 years now. About 7 months ago I found out my husband was lying to me about taking prescription pills(pain pills). I knew he took his own prescription but I had no idea he was buying them on the side. I knew he was accting different cause I grew up with an alcoholic father, as well as a drug addict mother and brother, so I knew something was wrong. Well on his bithday night we went out to have some drinks well the end result was he got very physical. He really thought I was in the parking lot having sex with someone. My son and I left to my mothers house in az for a while. I came back caused he "admitted" what he had be doing behind my back. He said he would supp taking them, so a week after I got back my sister in law told me do much more than he admitted. I know hes still taking them and I feel like hes still lying. How do I trust him after I keep catching him in lies? Sorry so long thanks for your time!

Anna

Hi,

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope your husband decides to seek help for his drug problem.

It would probably be a good idea for you to make some firm boundaries for yourself. Have you considered NarAnon for yourself?

FenwayFaithful

I am really sorry for what you're going through. Welcome to SR I recommend checking out the Friends & Family of Substance Abuse as you'll find MANY women in similar situations there.

Check out some if the "Stickies" at the top of the forum to read more about addiction although it sounds like you're experienced we it, it can help.

You've been around addicts before,so you probably know about the games they play, the lies and the manipulation.

You can't trust your husband right now. An addict in active addiction can't be trusted.

And once he's in recovery that trust will take a long time to rebuild. Some people can do it. I just couldn't Not after everything he put me through. I couldn't believe anything he ever said. Although my addict never went into recovery unless detoxing in jail counts.

I'd say you should distance yourself from him for now. There's nothing you can do for him if he's still using. And you can't make him stop and you also can't make him be honest with you.

I suggest taking some time apart. Attend Al Anon or Nar Anon and focus on you, your interests and your son because you are helpless to do much for your husband right now.

And how can you possibly trust someone whose still abusing drugs? All they do is lie lie lie.

He only admitted to it because he had no other choice. He was backed into a corner. You already knew. Everything an addict does serves a purpose, keeps them feeling like they're in control. Keeps them using.

You feel like he's lying because he IS lying. You want to believe he isn't but that logical voice just won't shut up because you know what it is is saying is true.

MIRecovery

You don't. Until he confronts his addiction and wants to get better for himself he is not trust worthy. I have been sober for 3 years and my wife still does not trust me 100% because she had known me as a liar much longer than she known me as a sober and truthful person.

Alanon is a great resource you should consider

Jbright

Thank you so much fenway faithful and mi recovery. I will be taking your to get suggestions for the family family groups. I know all about the mind games, everytime I tell him my son and I are leaving he plays even worse mind games and makes me feel like im doing something wrong, when I try to focus on my son amd I he says im selfish. Im so lost in all this, my father was a real bad alcoholic and he committed suicide so I have had to deal with so much I just don't knows how much more I can deal with! Another question how do I focus on my son and I when he makes me feel terrible about leaving him??

least

Try not to 'let him' make you feel terrible. He's playing mind games with you and he's being quite nasty about it. Your son should be your focus, not your husband. Your husband is an adult who can care for himself, your son can't, so your son's welfare should come first.

Better to come from a broken home than to live in one.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Jbright

I think trust has to be earned and deserved - from your post I'm not sure your husband is doing either?

You're not alone here tho - there's a ton of support...and I hope you'll also look at our Family and Friends forums too