JayceeL

Still thinking about beer. But more i am now thinking about all the relationships I might lose because I stopped drinking, or have to tell them I am a alcoholic.
I am 27... do I even know anyone that doesn't drink? How can I face them all or be around them? Or ever face myself with a bar scene? Its okay for now because i live alone and in a remote town..
What about the guy I am dating long distance, I can't even bring myself to tell him... whats gonna happen when I see him? Does he drink too much? Last night as I lay in bed I kept shaking, twitching and jolting awake.. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping without drinking. Then my boyfriend text me that he was out for Halloween and I quote, "horribly drunk." I didn't know what to say or do, I felt panic. Am I going to lose him as well as drinking? Sometimes I am so sad, it feels like I am leaving a very old dependable friend and I want to cry... because that is a terrible way to think about alcohol. ):

I have begun reading through materials from several sources including the big book and links on here... sometimes it feels like they are writing my thoughts... its crazy how many things I have said and thought about drinking that are in there.
Any advice on how to come to grips with telling people what is going on with me? I never really understood (am just starting to) what an alcoholic is- how will they?

Anna

Welcome!

I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking. I was extremely vulnerable and I didn't want anyone's words upsetting me in any way. So, I just stopped and let people see the change for themselves. You don't have to tell anyone you're an alcoholic, if you don't want to, nor do you need to give an explanation as to whether or not you drink. So, know that you can manage to get through these days and weeks.

And, your feelings are very common. Most of us have depended on alcohol for a long time and it's hard to imagine living without it. Have you read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp?

It's true that early recovery requires a lot of changes in activities and friends. If you are living a sober life, do you want a boyfriend who drinks? That's a question you need to ask yourself.

FeelingGreat

Hi, I didn't go into long explanations with friends and co-workers but when the need arose I would say I was 'on the wagon' or 'not drinking at the moment'.
No-one criticised me or tried to get me to drink and I even influenced some non alcoholic friends to cut down on their drinking (just by example - I didn't urge them to).
If anyone wants to know why I stopped I just tell them I found myself getting into the habit of drinking too much. I think you might be surprised at how many people relate to that. Hope my experience is of some help and best wishes for your recovery.

Dee74

It's easy to play the what if game and freak out JayceeL...all any of us can do is live one day at time...just relax, breath and take it one day at a time.

There's hundreds of happy sober people here...it may mean some changes but it is very possible

I know you can do it too

D

Blondie0419

So far I have just told a few people, the ones I have told have been super supportive and I ended up having no reason to be nervous about telling them. Besides a few close people in my life, I figure it is no ones business. When I have been in situations where people have been drinking I have ordered something that looked like it could be alcohol and no one noticed it was nice. Also talked to the bar tender so they knew what I would be ordering for the night which made it easier. I guess someday I won't mind telling people, but for now this has worked for me.

Pondlady

I didn't disclose my decision to stop drinking to anyone except my husband. After a few months I told my family and they were very happy for me. These days if drinking comes up in a conversation I will either ,not comment, or say I don't drink.

It is nice to be myself these days...no more secrets You can do it!

paks

I haven't really 'told' anyone that I'm not drinking. I just don't drink and no one notices or has asked. I think our drinking seems like a much bigger deal to us than to the people around us. If you have a friend who has a problem with you not drinking that you may need to reconsider that relationship.

And good job on cleaning up. It's hard when you're the only one in your group of friends!

Delilah1

I am waiting for this book to come in, definitely want to read it. I bought Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife today, really good memoir so far. I have laughed, cried, and thought, yes, I have done/said that! Thanks for the book link on SR Anna!

fallingtogether

Lets see if I can word this properly : telling people that I had a problem with alcohol wasn't nearly as frightening to me, as waking up the morning after in complete shame with no memory of the night before. People around me, including myself, knew, my drinking was a problem. The scariest part of all was the fact that I was on the road to losing soooo much. Today, yes I have lost people that I thought were close friends, when it turns out, they were just people, who never had my back to begin with. Sobriety is more scary for the people around me, than it is for me. I am on day 32 and, I couldn't be happier!!! In my opinion, friends share common interests, and when it's THAT hard to find a common interest, aside from drinking, they really aren't friends after all. I stand tall in my sobriety and my higher power has safely removed the people I don't need, and replaced them with ones I do! Best wishes!