Felt like I had lost something when started drinking again!
Felt like I had lost something when started drinking again!
Hi guys hope your well, I started a thread a little while back asking if alcoholics can ever moderate the general consensus was NO but I thought I am differant so started drinking again the first week went ok but every morning I would wake up and feel down I missed that first moment when you open our eyes that place between sleep and awake I use to love knowing that the next thing I was going to feel was happinesss to be alive, not fear anxiety desperation that used to hit me like a sledge hammer after a binge. I also felt upset even tho I was moderating in the beginning I still did not want to be drinking really it's like I have truly fallen out of love with alcohol. I was sober for 2 months and my sobriety started to feel real, it started to mean something to me it was my little bit of happiness it made me feel good about myself and I missed it!!
So iam back now I want my sobriety back for me!! Just throwing it out here that moderating for a while is no where near as good as recovery it's just 1 big illusion in a alcoholics head!!!
So iam back now I want my sobriety back for me!! Just throwing it out here that moderating for a while is no where near as good as recovery it's just 1 big illusion in a alcoholics head!!!
In the end I knew I wanted to be sober - I finally realised it was the way I was meant to be and it beat out the fear of change and being different and all those other things that held me back from full recovery commitment for such a long time
I'm glad you're back
D
I'm glad you're back
D
Welcome back.
I think if someone comes to a recovery site like this, truly, the moderating thing is just a hope. If we could moderate, we would have done it.
I realize now, that the only thing that moderated for me for years was CLOSING TIME.
I think if someone comes to a recovery site like this, truly, the moderating thing is just a hope. If we could moderate, we would have done it.
I realize now, that the only thing that moderated for me for years was CLOSING TIME.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I am so glad you posted this!
That moment you talk about between awake and asleep, I so understand you.
I still struggle with panic and anxiety in the morning and I wonder if it has become ingrained in me to feel like this after years of drinking.
I remember a few years ago, I started to try and have more sober nights and I sometimes woke up smiling as I came too and remembered that last night I did not drink. I had nothing to worry about, it was all fine.
Thank you for yor post it means a lot too me.
I hope things work out for you in your quest to stop drinking and that your mornings continue to rock!!!
xxxx
That moment you talk about between awake and asleep, I so understand you.
I still struggle with panic and anxiety in the morning and I wonder if it has become ingrained in me to feel like this after years of drinking.
I remember a few years ago, I started to try and have more sober nights and I sometimes woke up smiling as I came too and remembered that last night I did not drink. I had nothing to worry about, it was all fine.
Thank you for yor post it means a lot too me.
I hope things work out for you in your quest to stop drinking and that your mornings continue to rock!!!
xxxx
It happened to me, too Lionhearted. I was sober 3 yrs. & decided to have 'a glass' of wine. 7 yrs. later I came limping into SR, totally broken.
Thank you for sharing that valuable knowledge with us. Glad you are back and starting again - this time you know the truth.
Thank you for sharing that valuable knowledge with us. Glad you are back and starting again - this time you know the truth.
Thanks for the post, Lion - glad you're back!
You brought up a great point when you talked about feeling unique. I felt that way too. It's like a subtle kind of denial.
I found all kinds of ways to believe that maybe "the normal rules didn't apply", that maybe I could control it next time, that I was stronger/weaker, my life was harder, or whatever....... It crazy how I was only fooling myself!
Glad you saw the illusion for what it is!
You brought up a great point when you talked about feeling unique. I felt that way too. It's like a subtle kind of denial.
I found all kinds of ways to believe that maybe "the normal rules didn't apply", that maybe I could control it next time, that I was stronger/weaker, my life was harder, or whatever....... It crazy how I was only fooling myself!
Glad you saw the illusion for what it is!
Thanks for your post, it is a good reminder. I have tried moderation in the past and it never worked. I am on day 20 (almost 21) and once if twice I have thought, hmmm, I can just have a glass of wine, or maybe in a few weeks I can have a glass of wine again. However, I know the reality is it would not be "a" glass of wine.
Welcome back!!
Welcome back!!
Welcome home! Drove past my former close to work drive thru wine shack yesterday and literally shuddered when I thought of drinking. All my senses were in the moment and I could smell it and taste it and I realized I never drank for the nuance or to be sheik. I drank to get chyt faced and self medicate - and I could do it in 60 minutes. Talk about disease and addiction - So glad you are back with us - onward and upward!!
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