New. Nervous.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
New. Nervous.
I consider myself an addict, but I guess what I went through/am going through is not as extreme as others.
I was using prescription pain medication (tramadol, specifically). I obtained the pills by stealing them from my mother, who is prescribed them for arthritis, so I was never really able to take too many, because she would notice, and that is mainly I believe what kept my habit to a minimum. I know, what a wonderful daughter I am. There were a couple of other occasions where I sneaked some hydrocodone from the medicine cabinets of friends, but I always preferred the tramadol.
This went on for a few years (at least two, but probably longer off and on). In the beginning, I would nick a few every now and then and it wasn't a big deal. But of course it became more continuous and for longer periods of time, eventually getting to the point where if I ran out of pills, I went into withdrawal--hot and cold flashes, crippling anxiety attacks, nausea, burning sensations, the whole nine yards. Totally miserable. So I just kept taking them.
Well, I'm not sure exactly what snapped, but about 9 days ago I decided it had to end. I'm starting a new life now--getting married, buying a home, etc. and I want this in the past. I don't want to continue worrying about how many pills I have left, when I can steal more, etc. So I haven't taken any since last Wednesday at noon. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were rough. Sunday and Monday were better, but the craving was so overwhelming, all I could think about.
Today is better. I had a moment of weakness earlier where I started digging through my bag, hoping I might find a loose one in the bottom somewhere. So glad I didn't. I feel like my brain is starting to learn how to feel good without the pain pills. I just want to stay on this track. I wish I could fast forward to, like, a month from now. I hope I can hold on to the strength I feel right now.
I was using prescription pain medication (tramadol, specifically). I obtained the pills by stealing them from my mother, who is prescribed them for arthritis, so I was never really able to take too many, because she would notice, and that is mainly I believe what kept my habit to a minimum. I know, what a wonderful daughter I am. There were a couple of other occasions where I sneaked some hydrocodone from the medicine cabinets of friends, but I always preferred the tramadol.
This went on for a few years (at least two, but probably longer off and on). In the beginning, I would nick a few every now and then and it wasn't a big deal. But of course it became more continuous and for longer periods of time, eventually getting to the point where if I ran out of pills, I went into withdrawal--hot and cold flashes, crippling anxiety attacks, nausea, burning sensations, the whole nine yards. Totally miserable. So I just kept taking them.
Well, I'm not sure exactly what snapped, but about 9 days ago I decided it had to end. I'm starting a new life now--getting married, buying a home, etc. and I want this in the past. I don't want to continue worrying about how many pills I have left, when I can steal more, etc. So I haven't taken any since last Wednesday at noon. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were rough. Sunday and Monday were better, but the craving was so overwhelming, all I could think about.
Today is better. I had a moment of weakness earlier where I started digging through my bag, hoping I might find a loose one in the bottom somewhere. So glad I didn't. I feel like my brain is starting to learn how to feel good without the pain pills. I just want to stay on this track. I wish I could fast forward to, like, a month from now. I hope I can hold on to the strength I feel right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Does anyone else know you are trying to quit? Just wondering what kind of support system you have. I have watched people get off of pain meds and it was tough. Most had to fight through the first 2 weeks. Hang in there. You made the right decision.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
Welcome to SR ejay. You'll find loads of support, hope, and encouragement here. You've made a great decision to get off that stuff. I'm sure many here will have helpful suggestions.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
My fiance has been amazingly supportive, and nursed me through the first couple of days. I was, at first, afraid to tell him, because even though we've been together almost three years, he didn't know about the pills. I didn't know how he would react, but he didn't even flinch, just totally threw himself behind me. Anytime during the day I'm feeling rough, I text or call. Loving him so much is a huge motivator for me--I can't wait for us to start our life together, and I want that life to be happy and 100% healthy.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
You're very lucky to have such a supportive fiance, and I'm glad that you are determined to live a sober life. I hope you feel better as each day goes by and keep reading and posting here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
welcome to SR ejay 
Good to have you here - you'll find a lot of encouragement and support
you may also be interested in our substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Good to have you here - you'll find a lot of encouragement and support
you may also be interested in our substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
ejay710: That fiance of yours sounds like a peach! How lucky you are. At first just keep it in your head that you'll do this for him. But as things get better, try to shift to what's really important, namely doing it for yourself. Only you can get better and you deserve the greatest gift you can give yourself, sobriety. Beware of using him or anyone else as a "control". Because then if he is away traveling or something you might relapse. Work on being your own safe guardian. Joining a group, like NA or AA or something else is often helpful. It takes time but the road ahead gets smoother and smoother. I have found that this SR website is a big help. Hang in there and good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 6
I am trying to quit after taking more or less 30 a day for about 2 years. This stuff really got a hold of me and ruined my life. I went to detox for 4 days with methadone and clonodine. It helped a little, but it was still hell. I remember trying to quit only taking 2 a day and was in and out of the bathtub hearing things that weren't there.
anyway. it is nice to see someone able to quit. my wife has so much anger because of this she makes it really difficult.
anyway. it is nice to see someone able to quit. my wife has so much anger because of this she makes it really difficult.
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