Addiction - a constant wanting for something more?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 516
Addiction - a constant wanting for something more?
Does anyone else experience this? I'm sober, not longing for a drink but I can't sit still. I'm constantly looking for more, more more.
Right now, I'm watching tv and it's a show I enjoy but I'm also on the internet and sometimes getting up to put on some music and half considering driving to the shop to get some icecream and also itching to write yet another 'to do' list.
At other times, I'm searching online for recovery books or looking at clothes or shoes to buy or looking for a meditation group or dance class or something else or something else or something else.
I went to a meeting earlier and spent the whole time obsessed with what I'd eat for dinner afterwards.
There's never a time that I sit, content, immersed in what I'm doing. That's probably what I'm hoping to attain with sobriety. Involvement in what I'm doing right now. Not looking forward or back or living in my head. Do non-addicts do this sort of thing, I wonder?
Right now, I'm watching tv and it's a show I enjoy but I'm also on the internet and sometimes getting up to put on some music and half considering driving to the shop to get some icecream and also itching to write yet another 'to do' list.
At other times, I'm searching online for recovery books or looking at clothes or shoes to buy or looking for a meditation group or dance class or something else or something else or something else.
I went to a meeting earlier and spent the whole time obsessed with what I'd eat for dinner afterwards.
There's never a time that I sit, content, immersed in what I'm doing. That's probably what I'm hoping to attain with sobriety. Involvement in what I'm doing right now. Not looking forward or back or living in my head. Do non-addicts do this sort of thing, I wonder?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I am like you, I want everything to the MAX.
I drink a lot of coke zeros and before I am halfway done with one I am thinking about getting another one. Same thing with cigarettes.
I dont buy A recovery book. I buy ten.
I drink a lot of coke zeros and before I am halfway done with one I am thinking about getting another one. Same thing with cigarettes.
I dont buy A recovery book. I buy ten.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 516
Originally Posted by Elisabeth888 
I dont buy A recovery book. I buy ten.
For me, it's all about the acquisition. Getting something outside myself to feel better. I don't actually read past the first chapter of any of these books. I seem to think buying them is enough.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Always wanting more is not unique to addicts to chemicals. Nor is having difficulty being in the moment rather than thinking about the past or the future. One of my addictions is downloading free music online. There's no possible way I could listen to it all, but I justify my obsessive downloading by saying to myself that the torrents are going to get shut down. Some of them already have.
Now that I have a faster modem, it's not uncommon for me to be downloading 10-15 things at once. Films too. Can't get enough of them - and yet I haven't even made it all the way through the film I started watching 2 weeks ago.
The good thing is that--other than my internet connection which I need for work--I haven't spent a single penny on entertainment for 6 years.
Damn, I'm not downloading anything right now. Better get my ass in gear.
Now that I have a faster modem, it's not uncommon for me to be downloading 10-15 things at once. Films too. Can't get enough of them - and yet I haven't even made it all the way through the film I started watching 2 weeks ago.
The good thing is that--other than my internet connection which I need for work--I haven't spent a single penny on entertainment for 6 years.
Damn, I'm not downloading anything right now. Better get my ass in gear.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by Anna
You might also enjoy 'More, Now, Again' by Elizabeth Wurtzel
Bukowski's father used to make him cut the lawn with scissors. If he missed one blade of grass he got beaten. He said, "my father made me a better writer." When asked to clarify, he said, "he beat the pretense out of me."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 236
I'm so like this! I do it with juice, episodes of tv programmes I download off the internet and a million other things. I can have just opened a can of juice and be thinking about going to buy more. Or have just started watching the first episode in a whole series of programmes and be thinking about what I'll download when I'm done with them. Sometimes it worries me because it's almost the same feeling I got when i'd just had a little bit from a bottle of wine. That being scared to run out feeling. Other times i think it's just a comfort and security thing. The things I'm scared of running out of now are the things that distract me from anxiety and stop me thinking about drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: philadelphia, pa
Posts: 25
You sound just like me. I have figured out that my whole life has somewhat been set up for addiction, I am always wanting more and I am always wanting that instant gratification, even when sober. It is crazy really, how many material items I own. I have 10,000 songs in my music library, I'll eat a whole pint of ice cream and still want more. I am going to also look into these suggestions you guys posted. Thank you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 516
Originally Posted by eumenides
Monkey Mind. Do you exercise? Seriously hard aerobic exercise can help focus and concentrate the mind.
Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions. x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 12
MOAR!!!! If one is good, more is better -- that seems to be my attitude. ;-)
Since my teenage years, it was books. By the time I was 20 I had more than I could read in a lifetime, and that caused some stress and despair, but it didn't stop me. Now I have a houseful of books. Later when I had more money, it was music, clothes, shoes, cologne. I rarely buy music or cologne anymore, which is a slight improvement. Actually, I don't have much spare money for shopping these days.
Then in my thirties I became a wino. No such thing as "a glass of wine" for me. A bottle or two per night was standard. That nearly cost me my job, and rightly so. The same with beer -- never "a beer", and I think that when most people say "a few beers" they don't mean eight or twelve.
Maybe all I really want is a cool, sexy friend who's a good kisser. But then of course I might want a few more.
Since my teenage years, it was books. By the time I was 20 I had more than I could read in a lifetime, and that caused some stress and despair, but it didn't stop me. Now I have a houseful of books. Later when I had more money, it was music, clothes, shoes, cologne. I rarely buy music or cologne anymore, which is a slight improvement. Actually, I don't have much spare money for shopping these days.
Then in my thirties I became a wino. No such thing as "a glass of wine" for me. A bottle or two per night was standard. That nearly cost me my job, and rightly so. The same with beer -- never "a beer", and I think that when most people say "a few beers" they don't mean eight or twelve.
Maybe all I really want is a cool, sexy friend who's a good kisser. But then of course I might want a few more.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
