PO'd
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
PO'd
My husband was off of work today so we went to breakfast while he got an oil change. I said something that made him mad (it was the truth) and he got up and paid the bill and left the restaurant and walked three doors down to the car place without me.
We have not spoken since. I am not apologizing. He did the jerkier thing by leaving me at the restaurant and I will be damned if I am kissing his butt.
I know this is immature, but I do not want to cave in.
How does a normal person handle this?
We have not spoken since. I am not apologizing. He did the jerkier thing by leaving me at the restaurant and I will be damned if I am kissing his butt.
I know this is immature, but I do not want to cave in.
How does a normal person handle this?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Well, it depends what you said to him. It may have been the truth, but was it something that needed to be said? I used to carry on and stay angry for a long time after an argument and I learned that it was only hurting myself. I would be tense, upset, wouldn't sleep well, etc., and so I 'try' to let go of the anger.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I wish he would apologize for leaving me at the IHOP. That is really jerky. I think he thinks the woman he was staring at heard me tell him he was staring. Well tough toe nails. If he were more discreet he could ogle women more on the down low.
If he doesn't break down and say something I am not sure what I will do. I would like to pop him in the head.
If he doesn't break down and say something I am not sure what I will do. I would like to pop him in the head.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Men look at women. Sorry but that's the truth. My wife and I have a deal, I can look but I can't touch. I try to be discreet about it.
He probably feels like you are gonna give him a hard time about it. Do you? Have you?
Is he in recovery? And what about him looking bothers you? Is it insecurity? Do you think it's disrespectful?
Just wondering, not judging.
He probably feels like you are gonna give him a hard time about it. Do you? Have you?
Is he in recovery? And what about him looking bothers you? Is it insecurity? Do you think it's disrespectful?
Just wondering, not judging.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Originally Posted by Elisabeth888 
I know this is immature, but I do not want to cave in.
How does a normal person handle this?
How does a normal person handle this?
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
You say he did the “jerkier thing”. Does that mean you were also a “jerk” by the way you said this to him? If so, it’s time for basic math.
One wrong, plus one wrong, does not equal one right.
Each wrong deserves its own apology REGARDLESS of what was and/or is done concerning the other wrong.
The world’s troubles are largely made up of people seeing “wrongs” in combination, rather than separately.
One wrong, plus one wrong, does not equal one right.
Each wrong deserves its own apology REGARDLESS of what was and/or is done concerning the other wrong.
The world’s troubles are largely made up of people seeing “wrongs” in combination, rather than separately.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I think it is weird that he tries to pretend he did/does not look.
It is wrong that I would rather be right than happy. No, actually I would like both.
We have spoken here and there and I suspect this will be swept under the rug. But I will seethe with resentment over this. Not healthy, I know.
Oh, and did I mention I passed a liquor store on the walk to the car place? Did not cross my mind. At least that feels good.
It is wrong that I would rather be right than happy. No, actually I would like both.
We have spoken here and there and I suspect this will be swept under the rug. But I will seethe with resentment over this. Not healthy, I know.
Oh, and did I mention I passed a liquor store on the walk to the car place? Did not cross my mind. At least that feels good.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
In a loving and respectful marriage there is no pride and no winners or losers. Up until your last post, have to admit, it sounded like you were chasing a pyrrhic victory. If you are insecure, why not talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. I bet he didn't mean to hurt you, and will try and protect you in the future. You have to assume he loves you, and he wouldn't try and intentionally harm you.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Unfortunately, we men are programmed to look at women and often don't realize what we are doing until it's too late and we get caught. However, if you trust your husband enough it shouldn't cause a problem. Don't women 'look' too?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by Jitterbugg
Unfortunately, we men are programmed to look at women and often don't realize what we are doing until it's too late and we get caught. However, if you trust your husband enough it shouldn't cause a problem. Don't women 'look' too?
I can't imagine how hacked off/embarrassed I would be if my wife reprimanded me to the point that the woman I was looking at heard her...
At least he paid the bill before he left?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
