Grandma allison
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
Grandma allison
I thought this forum was schlock and written by 20 somethings. I have had a drinking problem since i was 17.
That's 40 years. I had 8 years, give or take, I didn't count, and drank again after a blow up with my sister. My sister and I got into a political argument, and she raised a 30 year old resentment of hers as to how I inconvenience her because the hospital pushed me for a family name. Then she said that she I inconvenience her and had the audacity to ask her o stop to fill a prescription and I took the whole bottle. So that was why she never responded as an adult to an adult. I am better educated than she in areas that have some bearing on reality, but she is artsy, which works perfectly with the role of the wife of a multi millionaire. She has never taken any interest in what I am or do. SHe has outright called it boring. Anyway, Depression came first, and I spiraled down. In bleak moments, I think it is the end. Education and good intentions have gotten me nowhere. What I do is anything but boring to most people. But that is irrelevant. I am not a docent at the Art Institute. I have even tried to become more knowledgeable of art - it isn't likely she is going to become conversational in physics, math or law. That fell flat.
I went to a psychologist recently, and realize that he is curious but not particularly helpful. I truly don't kmw what to do.
I take so many pills to sleep, and drink- and the drinking was planned to be a glass but turns into 2 bottles and then i begin figuring 0ut how many sharp knives I have. it's embarrassing to go to court with gouges on my arms.
Can anyone relate to this?
Chicago grandmother.
That's 40 years. I had 8 years, give or take, I didn't count, and drank again after a blow up with my sister. My sister and I got into a political argument, and she raised a 30 year old resentment of hers as to how I inconvenience her because the hospital pushed me for a family name. Then she said that she I inconvenience her and had the audacity to ask her o stop to fill a prescription and I took the whole bottle. So that was why she never responded as an adult to an adult. I am better educated than she in areas that have some bearing on reality, but she is artsy, which works perfectly with the role of the wife of a multi millionaire. She has never taken any interest in what I am or do. SHe has outright called it boring. Anyway, Depression came first, and I spiraled down. In bleak moments, I think it is the end. Education and good intentions have gotten me nowhere. What I do is anything but boring to most people. But that is irrelevant. I am not a docent at the Art Institute. I have even tried to become more knowledgeable of art - it isn't likely she is going to become conversational in physics, math or law. That fell flat.
I went to a psychologist recently, and realize that he is curious but not particularly helpful. I truly don't kmw what to do.
I take so many pills to sleep, and drink- and the drinking was planned to be a glass but turns into 2 bottles and then i begin figuring 0ut how many sharp knives I have. it's embarrassing to go to court with gouges on my arms.
Can anyone relate to this?
Chicago grandmother.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
i understand how a blow up with your sister could set you back. my sister and i have a stable relationship now but i think the 1100 miles apart really helps. i can relate to the sleep pills and the drinking. i wanted to obliterate my mind for a long time. i compared myself to so many people and for me, i always came up short no matter how great my accomplishments. it only took one insignificant cutting remark from an insignificant source to demolish whatever small self confidence i had. sometimes, i could demolish it myself. i don't cut but i think i understand what goes on with it. i cut a little when i was younger. there was a sense of ritual, a feeling of release when i did it. and then the shame that always followed. you can stop this. it's hard work. you had 8 years so you know you can do it. like Itchy said, are you ready to start? you're not alone and we can help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi and welcome Allison.
Well, I'm at least two twenty somethings...with some change
There's quite a coterie of 60 yos and older here too...and lots of grandmas
as for the schlock...I'm not sure where you've been lookin' - but SR saved my life - you'll find an incredible storehouse of support and wisdom here
D
Well, I'm at least two twenty somethings...with some change
There's quite a coterie of 60 yos and older here too...and lots of grandmas
as for the schlock...I'm not sure where you've been lookin' - but SR saved my life - you'll find an incredible storehouse of support and wisdom here
D
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