Rubysoho

Hi guys
I was just wondering if you could help. I'm just over 9 weeks sober and i'm really struggling. I did a librium detox, and got signed off work for 2 weeks. I pretty much went straight back to work and have been going to AA.
I didn't get aftercare because they said I work so I don't need it. The thing is I really do need it. I just got told 'good luck, don't drink'. That's great. But in the last 9 weeks I've managed to convince myself that I'm not actually an alcoholic. If you told me my story but told me it was someone else I'd probably say 'aww that poor girl, hope she gets help'. In theory I know I sound like an alcoholic but I still think I can change.
I really really need some kind of aftercare, but I don't know whats available on the NHS. I really need some kind of outpatient, alcohol education or day programme. I know I need to learn about what I have, because if I don't I can't move on. I don't get anything out of AA really, I just think 'i'm glad these people are getting help'. I can't identify with people, becuase I still don't think I belong there. I know I'm being silly, but I just feel like I'm not going to get better until I can get some more help.
Any advice???
Thanks!
Carly x

Thepatman

You are reaching out, major step in the right direction. You have to find your way to stay sober. Only your way will work, no one can tell you what to do, only support you. In your mind, are you "done" with booze? Has anyone told you about AVRT ? Look it up on google if you like. In any case, you are here, so that's awsome! You go girl! And you can do this!

hypochondriac

Hey Carly. Depending on your area you should be able to get some kind of outpatient care via a local drug and alcohol agency. Ours here is called Aquarius and covers most of the west Midlands. Phone Drinkline (0800 917 8282) and they should be able to point you in the right direction. I work too and all they had available were groups in the day, but after nearly hanging up saying 'I'll leave it for now then' they offered me one on one support at a time I could actually make. They have a lot of resources and are incredibly helpful, but... they don't necessarily take me seriously. My new keyworker even suggested that I was low maintenance (haha, I have never been called that before!) and seems to think that there shouldn't be a problem after x amount of time... basically they are not perfect, for me, but they try hard to help. Personally I learn more at AA but the cbt stuff they do is invaluable. I would be insistent that they find you some sort of support. Maybe check out a SMART meeting too if there are any in your area. I hope you find something x

Rubysoho

Thank you both. Thepatman, logically I am done with booze, but the whole last 9 weeks I've been convincing myself that next time will be different. I really need to understand what is holding me back? They didn't tell me anything about alcoholism in detox, just to take the librium and not to drink. then it was goodbye. i really hope that I can stay sober. I will google AVRT and see what that is. Thanks for the tip.
hypochondriac, thanks for the advice. I'm in London, so its a bit of a lottery. There's not much in my borough but there's loads in a neighbouring borough which is a bit annoying! I will give drinkline a call tomorrow. I'm pretty much desperate at the moment. I know I can only hold out for so much longer. And I keep thinking, if I have a relapse they will take me more seriously, but then I think that's just my cravings talking! I will also check out SMART. AA has been good in that it gives me somewhere safe to go, but I have no intention of doing the steps or anything like that. So I'm not sure how long it will be useful for me. But I know its helped thousands and thousands all over the globe and its a good organisation.
Thank you!!

hypochondriac

This might help too: Google

What I ended up with came under the heading of 'relapse prevention'. I had the same thoughts as you... that they'd take me more seriously if I relapsed. Which is clearly crazy thinking, but it was a thought I had just the same. I think part of my thinking they don't take me seriously is just me projecting my own fears though. Keep pushing til they help you x

Anna

Ruby, congratulations on 9 weeks sober and I hope you find something that works for you. Remember, SR is always open.

positivelady67

Hi Carly

Does the detox place you went to offer after care? I work full time and I have after care once a week offered to me as part of the detox. Can you go back to them and ask? I find it really helps to go as like you AA is not for me. I also go to a counsellor once a week for 50 mins who specialises in Addictions. I have to pay for it but it does really help me and worth the money.

I really hope you find some support, I do sometimes think that maybe I could drink normally again but thats just my AV voice and by coming on SR and my aftercare and counselling I am able to squash that voice and know I can never drink again.

Good luck Carly
x