Threshold

In early recovery weekends were so dang hard, a real struggle to stay clean and sober. All that time on my hands, all those feelings, all that booze etc so freely available.

I used to hang out here a LOT on weekends, and usually there were a few threads going here about others dealing with the same issue.

A ways down the line...weekends are not the big deal they once were. I'm not white knuckling it through them.

I just wanted to offer that encouragement to others in early recovery who are gritting their teeth through the weekends.

It gets better. If we work on our recovery, we get some perspective and it gets better.

miko67

Thanks man. What do U do on the weekends now threshold?

Threshold

Hike, cook, work on art, go to the flea market or some festival or another. Have friends over for dinner, read, see a movie...

This weekend I worked some overtime and rented an apartment! I've been living in a camper for about 2 and a half months and it will be amazing to have a tub and running water!

I now have choices about how to spend my time, options. And that is what made it so hard at first. I went from the regiment and security of knowing how I'd spend my time and money...to having to figure it out, mix things up etc.

Many of my early recovery weekends were just about NOT using and drinking. hitting as many meetings as I could because I didn't know what else to do with myself. Hanging out here. I didn't have a life to turn to.

I'll be honest, the past few months...for reasons other than drinking/drugging, I haven't had much of a life and it's been hard again, having to be intentional about how I spend my time.

It would have been real easy to come home from work to the camper...and just booze and drug myself to sleep because there wasn't much else to do. I felt more like slipping back into that behavior than I have in a very long time. It's been hard, and lonely and scary.

That is partly what made me start this thread, is remembering how that feels, when nothing in life is easy or automatic, and every hour has to be manufactured so I wouldn't resort to drinking and pills. I had to remind myself all the skills I learned, all the tough times I've been through, all the endless nights...and how it's not like that anymore, not all the time. There are moments, but mostly I don't have to work hard at NOT drinking/using.

I still work hard, don't get me wrong, but I am working hard towards building a life, moving forward not just maintaining the status quo. A lot of early recovery felt like I was running in place...like characters in a cartoon do for awhile, then they get the ground under them and start to make progress.

escapist

This is my second weekend since I stopped drinking. I have had a headache for 2 days now. I am in a sad depression today. I am kind of getting used to feeling ok one day and like crap the next two. This morning was hard.

escapist

And yes , I know I felt like crap all the time when I was drinking everyday. I used to drink the hangover away.