Needed a place to go
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Fayetteville, NC
Posts: 15
Needed a place to go
Hi. This is my first post here. Really, it is my first time joining an online group. I am searching for a place to get encouragement from people who are like me.
I don't want to go to an AA meeting in my town because I am the assistant principal at a middle school and inevitably I will run into one of my students' parents or something.
I am a binge drinker. I have to have between 10 and 12 once I begin. I drink two or three nights out of seven. Beer is my drink of choice. I really want to stop, but when I get it into my head that a beer would be good, I become obsessed with the thought and end up caving in every time.
No one knows my problem except my husband and even he doesn't know that I have tried stopping without success. He thinks I am coping with a high stress job by drinking, so he doesn't really fuss at me.
So, where do I start? I have told my doctor a semi-truth about my problem, but I underplayed the severity. I need some folks to talk to and I am ready for some advice!!!
I don't want to go to an AA meeting in my town because I am the assistant principal at a middle school and inevitably I will run into one of my students' parents or something.
I am a binge drinker. I have to have between 10 and 12 once I begin. I drink two or three nights out of seven. Beer is my drink of choice. I really want to stop, but when I get it into my head that a beer would be good, I become obsessed with the thought and end up caving in every time.
No one knows my problem except my husband and even he doesn't know that I have tried stopping without success. He thinks I am coping with a high stress job by drinking, so he doesn't really fuss at me.
So, where do I start? I have told my doctor a semi-truth about my problem, but I underplayed the severity. I need some folks to talk to and I am ready for some advice!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi and welcome Ready2Stop 
You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here - I recommend you check out our Class of October thread for some great peer support
As far as recovery groups go...there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (indluding AA but not limited to that):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
It's probably worth mentioning most methods now have an online presence with online meetings...that may be another option.
I also know some people who go to meetings in other towns where they're not known. If recognition is a worry for you, that may be another solution.
There's also recovery methods that are not meeting based, like Rational Recovery.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like that
D
You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here - I recommend you check out our Class of October thread for some great peer support
As far as recovery groups go...there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (indluding AA but not limited to that):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
It's probably worth mentioning most methods now have an online presence with online meetings...that may be another option.
I also know some people who go to meetings in other towns where they're not known. If recognition is a worry for you, that may be another solution.
There's also recovery methods that are not meeting based, like Rational Recovery.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like that
D
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
welcome R2S. I don't go to AA for not dissimilar reasons. Nevertheless AA literature contains collective wisdom. I found reading the Big Book and listening to AA speakers tapes , both free online, invaluable.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Ready2Stop. Welcome to SR.
13 days ago I started with the same thing you did now - I shared my thoughts and worries. Nobody new I had a problem with alco, so I justed beated myself up about it alone. I found a lot of support here, and posting and sharing my emotions helps a lot.
Take care and have a good day.
13 days ago I started with the same thing you did now - I shared my thoughts and worries. Nobody new I had a problem with alco, so I justed beated myself up about it alone. I found a lot of support here, and posting and sharing my emotions helps a lot.
Take care and have a good day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi, and welcome to SR. I'm also in a senior position at a school, but luckily live a fair drive away, so have managed to attend AA without problems.
I would suggest that you spend time reading others posts, find out what's working for them. There are a range of successful recovery programs. I'm sure you will find the support that suits you.
You will find the support you receive by posting really helpful, I know I did when I was starting out. At 5 months sober, I still read and post every day, it is vital for me.
Keep us informed of how you are getting on, we're all here to help xxx
I would suggest that you spend time reading others posts, find out what's working for them. There are a range of successful recovery programs. I'm sure you will find the support that suits you.
You will find the support you receive by posting really helpful, I know I did when I was starting out. At 5 months sober, I still read and post every day, it is vital for me.
Keep us informed of how you are getting on, we're all here to help xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Hello Ready2Stop and welcome.
I have told doctors half truths too. Now I'm worried about my ongoing health, so I just tell them the whole truth and they tell me I'm an alcoholic and the prognosis is not good. If I'm going into the doctor of my own volition due to health problems, it really makes no sense not to tell the whole truth. At least I can know where I stand and make a decision from there.
I wish you luck in your journey. I used to drive to a different town to go to AA meetings so I wouldn't run into anyone in my neighborhood. Kind of silly actually. In your situation I can understand because it might have fallout with your job, but in my instance it wouldn't have. I worked in yet another town a half hour's drive away. I just didn't want to run into anyone in my neighborhood who had seen me at a meeting calling me to task as to whether I had gotten a sponsor and worked the steps because I wasn't committed to that.
I still can't get behind the steps. I've done a few of them out of order, but some really rub me the wrong way.
I have told doctors half truths too. Now I'm worried about my ongoing health, so I just tell them the whole truth and they tell me I'm an alcoholic and the prognosis is not good. If I'm going into the doctor of my own volition due to health problems, it really makes no sense not to tell the whole truth. At least I can know where I stand and make a decision from there.
I wish you luck in your journey. I used to drive to a different town to go to AA meetings so I wouldn't run into anyone in my neighborhood. Kind of silly actually. In your situation I can understand because it might have fallout with your job, but in my instance it wouldn't have. I worked in yet another town a half hour's drive away. I just didn't want to run into anyone in my neighborhood who had seen me at a meeting calling me to task as to whether I had gotten a sponsor and worked the steps because I wasn't committed to that.
I still can't get behind the steps. I've done a few of them out of order, but some really rub me the wrong way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Fayetteville, NC
Posts: 15
Thank you all for the welcome and the encouragement. I went to bed drunk last night and couldn't sleep. That is when I decided I had had enough and joined your group. I was able to get a little rest after my first post, and it feels awesome to wake up and know I can tell you guys what's going on in my mind. I am hungover of course, and I have two little girls who really, really want to play but I don't feel like it. With your help and prayers, this will be the last Saturday morning I tell my girls no. I know you all remember this feeling - the physical and the emotional - it sucks! I really am Ready2Stop!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 174
Join the October group, read all the posts. It may take hours but if you need motivation it helps. I'm 27 days today and I attribute it to going to that group every day. I have gone to one aa meeting. I prefer here so far.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome ReadyToStop. Your name says it all, you have to be ready to stop and it sounds like you are! You have found a great place to get help and support. I bet you will feel relieved when you see so many people that can relate to what you're going through. Your family will appreciate a new and sober you-you'll have more energy and time for them. Stopping will also stop the feelings of guilt, remorse, shame, and frustration.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Ready2stop - you can do this! I drank all my life. I was in my 50's when I finally admitted alcohol was controlling my every move.
I'm so glad you've made the decision to reclaim your life. For me, drinking wasn't even fun or relaxing anymore - just something I thought I had to do to get by. Now, I can't believe I was so afraid to let go of it. It was bringing me nothing but misery and despair.
We're with you as you start your journey. This is a great place, filled with hope.
I'm so glad you've made the decision to reclaim your life. For me, drinking wasn't even fun or relaxing anymore - just something I thought I had to do to get by. Now, I can't believe I was so afraid to let go of it. It was bringing me nothing but misery and despair.
We're with you as you start your journey. This is a great place, filled with hope.
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