Reminding myself why I have chosen to stop...
Reminding myself why I have chosen to stop...
I am on Day 26 and am feeling pretty good. I have been craving a drink pretty badly this week, as it was my go-to thing in the past when I was bored, lonely or depressed. I find the desire becoming increasingly stronger as the weeks pass. Even simply walking past a liquor store to get to the grocery store, or glancing at a menu at a restaurant and noticing alcoholic drinks makes me extremely anxious.
But one thing that I try my best to do is to remind myself of all the positive things that are a result of not drinking: no more having to be ashamed the next day for what I might have said or done, no more waking up and feeling like I am dying (or that I would rather die than deal with such a miserable hangover), no more self-harm, being able to actually enjoy my weekends, going to work without having to worry about if I can make it through the day, having more than just a handful of dollars to my name, spending more time with my family, etc.
By repeating all those things to myself has been the only way I have made it this far in my sobriety. I realize it is the simple, little things that really make it worth it in the end.
Tomorrow night is my first Young Peoples AA Group... I am definitely anxious about going (being that I will be going alone) but at the same time I am looking forward to it.
But one thing that I try my best to do is to remind myself of all the positive things that are a result of not drinking: no more having to be ashamed the next day for what I might have said or done, no more waking up and feeling like I am dying (or that I would rather die than deal with such a miserable hangover), no more self-harm, being able to actually enjoy my weekends, going to work without having to worry about if I can make it through the day, having more than just a handful of dollars to my name, spending more time with my family, etc.
By repeating all those things to myself has been the only way I have made it this far in my sobriety. I realize it is the simple, little things that really make it worth it in the end.
Tomorrow night is my first Young Peoples AA Group... I am definitely anxious about going (being that I will be going alone) but at the same time I am looking forward to it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
Sounds very familiar to me. I am on day twenty something and I think I have been almost subconsciously planning a relapse. I find myself thinking about when I have a day coming up that I don't have to do something so I can devote it to getting wasted.
I keep reminding myself that I don't do that anymore but the thoughts keep coming. Then my AV says that I haven't had anything to drink in a while, I've been trying this sober thing and for the most part the problems I quit to deal with are still there. It says: the only thing that has changed is that instead of getting drunk watching crappy tv is that I sit around reading most nights.
I know I am just being impatient and that the only way things will get better in the long run is if I stay sober.
I agree with you Krispy87, there are a lot of good things that have come out of getting sober. We just need to focus on the good and continue to try to improve the bad.
Congrats on the 26 and keep it up.
I keep reminding myself that I don't do that anymore but the thoughts keep coming. Then my AV says that I haven't had anything to drink in a while, I've been trying this sober thing and for the most part the problems I quit to deal with are still there. It says: the only thing that has changed is that instead of getting drunk watching crappy tv is that I sit around reading most nights.
I know I am just being impatient and that the only way things will get better in the long run is if I stay sober.
I agree with you Krispy87, there are a lot of good things that have come out of getting sober. We just need to focus on the good and continue to try to improve the bad.
Congrats on the 26 and keep it up.
Squ1rrel -- thank you. you are staying strong too, so you should be applauded as well. we are stronger than we think.
CloseToRecovery -- yeah, that's been a big one for me. Sometimes I go to sleep upset because the desire is so strong, and then I wake up not sick and not dry heaving and realize that I made the right choice.
Misterritter -- I find myself subconsciously doing the same! It's like I'm preparing myself to fail just in case even though I don't want to. It's weird how strong our minds can be. Best wishes to you and your 20 days so far.
CloseToRecovery -- yeah, that's been a big one for me. Sometimes I go to sleep upset because the desire is so strong, and then I wake up not sick and not dry heaving and realize that I made the right choice.
Misterritter -- I find myself subconsciously doing the same! It's like I'm preparing myself to fail just in case even though I don't want to. It's weird how strong our minds can be. Best wishes to you and your 20 days so far.
It is definitely hard, I was in the habit of having wine every night, so I have been distracting myself with other things. One night this week I woke up and realized I had dreamt that I was drinking a glass of wine, I was relieved that it was only a dream.
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
It is definitely hard, I was in the habit of having wine every night, so I have been distracting myself with other things. One night this week I woke up and realized I had dreamt that I was drinking a glass of wine, I was relieved that it was only a dream.
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
It is definitely hard, I was in the habit of having wine every night, so I have been distracting myself with other things. One night this week I woke up and realized I had dreamt that I was drinking a glass of wine, I was relieved that it was only a dream.
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
Am I the only wacky one who has had this dream?
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