Just need an out reach.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westland MI
Posts: 2
Just need an out reach.
Im new to this, I guess that why they have me on the "Newcomers forum"
I come from a long line of functioning alcoholics, i used to be one until I had my first child. I do still drink but not to get drunk and im nothing like the person i used to be.
My biggest problem now is my bf, I started dating him almost 2 years ago and he told me up front he was an addict but that he had been sober for a long time, he seemed to have everything together, so when he called me one night and told me that his sister had kicked him out of corse i let him move in. At first everything was great, he worked, helped with the kids and the house, then the bottom of this great life fell out! He lost his job because his boss caught him taking Xanax, he moved out after a very nasty fight and then went to rehab, then his lung collapsed 2 days out of rehab and he spent 3 mo on and off in the hospital where he got hooked again on drugs, he spent months hospital hopping when i finally had enough and kicked him out again. At that time his new boss put him up in a hotel, paid for his drugs and food and just kept him on a leash using him because his boss knew he was now hooked on Heroin. After about a month my bf begged me to take him bake said he would do anything, i told him the only thing he could do is get sober, to get him away from his boss and not in my house he moved to another state with his family (of drug users, and alcoholics) not the best but it got him out of this rotting city! he moved back in with me about 2 months later SOBER and started a methadone treatment because he started working for the same boss thinking he had his addiction under control and the first day back his boss took him to Detroit to buy him drugs. He has been away from the boss and the "wrong" people for about 7 months now passing every drug test, although he did get high on Xanax once and lost a very good job because of it, but for the most part he has been doing good.
I guess my problem is I have no trust for him, even though i love him so much, i have been married twice and thought i had loved someone before, but then he comes along and its something ive never felt, it has to be for i would have never looked back after the first time he moved out if it wasnt love. But now I feel he is getting high again, I have cought him in a few lies about his dose, and something just feels off now, like it did when i first found out he was using herion, what pushed me to write this is he told me yesterday if i had any questions to give him a drug test or call the clinic he goes to and ask for his info, he told me i was on the "release info" card, well when i called today they told me other wise. And now im just lost, angry, and im hitting a wall.
I NEED HELP!
I come from a long line of functioning alcoholics, i used to be one until I had my first child. I do still drink but not to get drunk and im nothing like the person i used to be.
My biggest problem now is my bf, I started dating him almost 2 years ago and he told me up front he was an addict but that he had been sober for a long time, he seemed to have everything together, so when he called me one night and told me that his sister had kicked him out of corse i let him move in. At first everything was great, he worked, helped with the kids and the house, then the bottom of this great life fell out! He lost his job because his boss caught him taking Xanax, he moved out after a very nasty fight and then went to rehab, then his lung collapsed 2 days out of rehab and he spent 3 mo on and off in the hospital where he got hooked again on drugs, he spent months hospital hopping when i finally had enough and kicked him out again. At that time his new boss put him up in a hotel, paid for his drugs and food and just kept him on a leash using him because his boss knew he was now hooked on Heroin. After about a month my bf begged me to take him bake said he would do anything, i told him the only thing he could do is get sober, to get him away from his boss and not in my house he moved to another state with his family (of drug users, and alcoholics) not the best but it got him out of this rotting city! he moved back in with me about 2 months later SOBER and started a methadone treatment because he started working for the same boss thinking he had his addiction under control and the first day back his boss took him to Detroit to buy him drugs. He has been away from the boss and the "wrong" people for about 7 months now passing every drug test, although he did get high on Xanax once and lost a very good job because of it, but for the most part he has been doing good.
I guess my problem is I have no trust for him, even though i love him so much, i have been married twice and thought i had loved someone before, but then he comes along and its something ive never felt, it has to be for i would have never looked back after the first time he moved out if it wasnt love. But now I feel he is getting high again, I have cought him in a few lies about his dose, and something just feels off now, like it did when i first found out he was using herion, what pushed me to write this is he told me yesterday if i had any questions to give him a drug test or call the clinic he goes to and ask for his info, he told me i was on the "release info" card, well when i called today they told me other wise. And now im just lost, angry, and im hitting a wall.
I NEED HELP!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Addicts lieing? It is what we do best. Do the drug test, get on the release card. If he refuses he is likely using. I would highly recommend going alanon/nar anon to get the support you need.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westland MI
Posts: 2
Just an update on how today has panned out. I questioned him about the release form he said he didnt understand why i wasnt on it, so i asked him if he would take a test when i got home from work and if he failed it would he move out peacefully tonight, he first told me all the reasons why taking the test would not be a good idea so i told him if he wont take the test he needs to leave anyway....he called me back 5 min later told me he was packing his things and moving out because he has been using Xanax for the past week.
Heart is so broken right now, but I thank God i have the strength to keep my head up for my kids, if it were not for them id crash and burn by the end of the weekend.
Heart is so broken right now, but I thank God i have the strength to keep my head up for my kids, if it were not for them id crash and burn by the end of the weekend.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Welcome AimHigh 
I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm glad you've joined us and I know you'll find a lot of support here
I think we all have to decide just how much we're going to put up with.
It's impossible to change someone else if they don't want to be changed...but it is possible to build healthy boundaries for ourself and look after our welfare (and our kids welfare too).
I'd encourage you to also look at our Family and Friends forum to learn more - you'll find a lot of support down there:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm glad you've joined us and I know you'll find a lot of support here
I think we all have to decide just how much we're going to put up with.
It's impossible to change someone else if they don't want to be changed...but it is possible to build healthy boundaries for ourself and look after our welfare (and our kids welfare too).
I'd encourage you to also look at our Family and Friends forum to learn more - you'll find a lot of support down there:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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