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Old 10-25-2012, 07:07 AM
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Problems

Hi all,

I am a young man in my 20s and have over the past two years realized that I have a problem with drinking. I could go into the details, but they are similar to all of yours.

I've quit cold turkey twice this month; once for a week, and again for three days but relapsed both times. During my sobriety I picked up running, but I've almost lost entire interest in that.

Both times I went through minor withdrawal...specifically anxiety and nausea.

So, I sit here now, early in the morning drinking beer and I feel better than I ever did in my brief sobriety. What motivation did you all have to stop drinking?

I do want to quit...my life has deteriorated rapidly, but it's just so easy to just hit the bottle, feel better, and have no more worries.

-- Mike
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:21 AM
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Alcohol always made me feel better too. My problem was that the periods without alcohol were becoming increasingly difficult to handle. My anxiety was getting out of control, I was depressed and irritable all the time. It was taking more and more alcohol on top of xanax or kolonopin to get me to feel right. Problems piled up and I broke. That's where my motivation came from.

Thanks to the program of AA, I was able to not only recover from alcoholism, but am able to enjoy sobriety free of anxiety and depression. I am happy and 100% chemical-free for over 4 years now.

There is a better life out there for you. Drunk is not the best you can feel. It takes some effort. For me AA did and still does the trick. Others will have input on what works for them. Best wishe to you.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:25 AM
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Mike, the worries are still there. They are just on the back burner. When you sober up, you'll still have to face them, and possibly more. I've drank to avoid my feelings about myself, my regrets, and when I finally sober up, it's even worse because now on top of feeling lonely/desperate/tired/etc, I feel like a lousy mom/wife/employee. It's a vicious cycle. One that I hope to break this month, one day at a time.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:26 AM
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My motivation:

I was pretty much forced into quitting using drugs in November 2010. For the next 6 months I attended NA, I picked up a girlfriend along the way. In June or July 2011 I relapsed, it was for a night, and I felt crap afterwards, back to NA I went. 6 months later I relapsed again, this time over 4/5 days. So after this off I went back to NA. So I was in NA clean for about 5/6 months and I decided to try gambling. 2 months later I was £10000/$16000 in debt, and I started using drugs again, surprise, surprise. Within about two weeks of me picking up drugs again I was made homeless and bankrupt, my fiance left me, my family gave me a week to get out and that was it. That was my rock bottom. This time I wanted to change for me. And I did, and I am. Checked myself into a rehab, the only motivation being that I am bloody fed up of having drugs and alcohol continue to screw up my life. That's all it took in the beginning. I still stay clean for me, but as part of making amends to my family I stay clean for them too. But most of all I stay clean because I know damn well if I go back out there I am either going to die or end up in prison on a long stretch. And that's all the motivation I need most days.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:39 AM
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What I can tell you is that you need to be very motivated in order to stop drinking and recover. And, I think it's important to remember that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse. I hope you make the decision to stop drinking and live a sober life.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:52 AM
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I was pretty much forced into quiting myself. I had to choose my life (family, comfort, food, etc.) vs drugs (being broke, stealing, homeless,) and honestly if you keep drinking you might hit a bottom so to speak where you look around in astonishment of the wreckage of your life and you wonder why, than you thing oh damn...it was because I got high. drank. whatever. For some people we cannot manage our lives and use mind altering substances too, we become addicted to them and they become way way waaayy to important in our lives.

I use to self-medicate my add with pot, and my depression with alcohol. Yes, you heard right.. I used a depressant to cure my depression when I felt depressed. In the end it all came crashing down kind of like Natom and now my recovery is about staying sober 1 day at a time and rebuilding my life from the ground up. For me, getting 30+ days of sobriety motivated me to stay sober and never go back to Day 1. Also, I felt so much better at Day 30 why would I want to go back? If you decide to try for sobriety again, commit to 30 days and then decide if you want to drink, I doubt you will. Dude we are sober because sobriety is so much better than our lives were being addicted!! So ask yourself, are you addicted to alcohol? And then take it from there.
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:05 AM
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You've got to face it sooner or later Michael...

For me my motivation was health reasons, but it became much more then that. Once I realised how much my drinking had dominated my life and how much I'd used it to cover up issues and avoid things, I started to want to live sober and face up to things. Fix things rather than run away.

How is your life deteriorating? It all happened very rapidly for me, I knew I had worries about my drinking in my early 20's but the need to quit became more and more urgent as I approached 30. If you leave it long enough there will become some pressing reason to quit. But even then your addiction can try and trick you into thinking carrying on drinking is a good idea or essential. It took me nearly a year to quit after I had been told I had to by a medical professional. I'm kinda ashamed of that.

It takes time and effort to start feeling better. I kind of think that the point of sobriety is to live without instant gratification. It may just be a better way to live.

Welcome to SR x
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:27 AM
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I quit because I wanted to look and feel healthy again. When i'm sober I am more productive, I get in less arguments with my family and girlfriend. I'm 24 and I don't want years and years of drinking to wear me down over the next few decades. You may not have felt better during the first week of sobriety, but it gets better.
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:30 AM
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For me it was looking at my 6 year old son, thinking, I went trough this with my mom, she was a drunk, that's it I'm breaking the cycle.

that and some major debts, health issues, etc
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:36 AM
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I do want to quit...my life has deteriorated rapidly, but it's just so easy to just hit the bottle, feel better, and have no more worries.

-- Mike[/QUOTE]

Trust me, it gets worse
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:05 PM
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Thank you all for your input. It probably seems trivial to you; but it means a lot to me.

I ashamedly continued to drink today, but made a doctor's appointment for next week where I am determined to get help.

God bless.
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:15 PM
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Michael, Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if you can identify.

AA saved my life and continues to save it on a daily basis.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:25 PM
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Hi Michael - welcome

I think we need to be sober a while before we can really gauge what being sober is like.

We can abuse ourselves a lot when drinking - it takes time for our minds and bodies to heal. It takes more than a few days or even a week..

It is hard to quit - and that why I'm glad you've found us.
You'll find a lot of support here

I could never look myself in the eyes in the mirror as a drinker...it feels really good to be able to do that now.

I'm making something of my life - not wasting it anymore.
That's a pretty good motivator for me right there.

D
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:26 PM
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hit the bottle, feel better, and have no more worries
.


... until you start to feel worse from drinking and have more worries than you know what to do with. I hope you can quit while you're still young so you won't have a future full of regrets.
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Old 10-26-2012, 05:44 AM
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Something I realized is that I should probably come out and just tell those close to me about my problem. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I love dearly and my parents are very supportive of me, as is the rest of my family. None of them suspect anything regarding my alcohol use.

It is really difficult: I've always been the one in the family to achieve great things, so something like this is extremely hard to tell those who have so much faith in me.

I don't want to ruin anything about that, but really do want to get the help needed.
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Old 10-26-2012, 05:57 AM
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Hi EasternMichael, based on what I read from your posts, I honestly think you should tell your loved ones. I bet they will not look down on you when you share this "secret" with them. On the contrary, they will know that it took you strength, integrity and courage to take that step. It is probably going to help you very much (not only because of their support) but the fact that you confide is going to help you. I am convinced now that Keeping the "secret" secret is what makes addiction so perverse.
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:18 AM
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My motivation to stop?....I was beaten and broken and found myself placed in a rehab. They gave me a Big Book there and I read this part...It was me....I was beaten into reasonableness...And willing to try anything.


Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.

bb pg 48
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted by EasternMichael View Post
Something I realized is that I should probably come out and just tell those close to me about my problem. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I love dearly and my parents are very supportive of me, as is the rest of my family. None of them suspect anything regarding my alcohol use.

It is really difficult: I've always been the one in the family to achieve great things, so something like this is extremely hard to tell those who have so much faith in me.

I don't want to ruin anything about that, but really do want to get the help needed.
it's good that you have this Michael, I hope that you can keep it....unfortunately alcohol can steal it from you in the blink of an eye....it will become the most important thing in your life sooner rather than later. Please be honest with your doctor, i hope you can find the interest in quitting. drinking in the morning before work is only the beginning of the end.
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:35 AM
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Hi EasternMichael,

I agree with Eveofthefuture. You've got a wonderful girlfriend and a supportive family. If you're going to make the plunge and try to quit drinking, I bet they'll be 100% behind you. It's amazing that they haven't noticed your withdrawals already. Or perhaps they have. Let them know what you're going through.

When I get all the financial details squared away I'm going to go to detox and rehab. My family knows about it and it is so much easier than keeping it a secret. No one has looked down on me. My nephew's wife possibly has cancer. Everyone is just as supportive of me as they are of her.

The more we make a big deal of it and try to hide it, the more alienated and shame ridden we become.

It sounds like you've been hiding it pretty well, but that gets old eventually. Log on here to your heart's content and you'll see that some people make it and some people don't. It's the ones who realize that we're all in this together and talk honestly without keeping secrets who tend to make it, and the ones who think that no one understands who don't.

Sorry if I'm being overly simplistic. There may be some reason why you don't want your family or girlfriend to know. Is there?
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:38 AM
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Drinking to cover up your problems and make yourself feel better is like hiding a fire with pieces of wood. You can hide the flames for a little while, but you are going to make them burn stronger.

I "quit" a ton of times before this last one. Whats different this time is I am not trying to do this by myself. I post on SR regularly and I also attend AA and I am working the program. The difference is evident in the results. I had "quit" before but I was miserable. This time each sober day is like a gift. I am in the best place in my adult life and my early successes are breeding future successes. It feels good to be happy and not numbed. I am also able to deal with my problems in a real way. I am not trying to hide them or kick them down the road. I am fixing them, one at a time.
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