I swear I Crack myself up
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
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I swear I Crack myself up
Opened the fridge a a big drrink fell on my foot hurt like hell. Even taking a day off and resting I can injure myself. How did I make it drinking? I did use to get up in the morning and look to see if I had a car. What a jerk.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,937
Do you remember a few years ago when they had the stuff "airborne" in the stores? It was supposed to ward off a cold if you felt it coming on. I had the ctart of a cold so I bought some.
Took it home and put my feet up and opened the package. My bird dog came over to watch in case I needed help.
Instead of acting my age and finding my reading glasses for the tiny instructions I just decided that they looked like tums so I popped one in my mouth and began chewing. Nasty. I grabbed a can of coca cola to wash it down and took a big swig.
Suddenly it dawned on me that they also looked like a big alka seltzer. Man did that stuff want out of there. The poor bird dog took the brunt of the explosion. She never saw it coming.
I do stuff like that and then wonder why the wife doesn't allow me to load the dish washer. Such is life.
Took it home and put my feet up and opened the package. My bird dog came over to watch in case I needed help.
Instead of acting my age and finding my reading glasses for the tiny instructions I just decided that they looked like tums so I popped one in my mouth and began chewing. Nasty. I grabbed a can of coca cola to wash it down and took a big swig.
Suddenly it dawned on me that they also looked like a big alka seltzer. Man did that stuff want out of there. The poor bird dog took the brunt of the explosion. She never saw it coming.
I do stuff like that and then wonder why the wife doesn't allow me to load the dish washer. Such is life.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
That's funny. I can be just as much as a dufus sober as under the influence. Only then, I have no excuse. I call it "realizing one's inner dufus nature."
Did you ever see the Saturday Night Live sketch where John Lovitz was attending a "Dufus Anonymous" meeting? He was just "investigating it for a friend" I believe. There was a guy there with a T-shirt that said "I'm with Stupid" with an arrow pointing to his side, and basically people who looked like total nerds and losers (well, for John Lovitz, that must have been a bit of a streeeeetch).
Everyone looked like they were Jonesing to act out. There was a speaker who talked about what it was like then and what it's like now. Something happened and no one could contain themselves any more. Chairs got knocked over as everyone went into 3 Stooges routines. Woo woo woo woo woo!
I can't find it on YouTube. If anyone can find it, please post a link.
Did you ever see the Saturday Night Live sketch where John Lovitz was attending a "Dufus Anonymous" meeting? He was just "investigating it for a friend" I believe. There was a guy there with a T-shirt that said "I'm with Stupid" with an arrow pointing to his side, and basically people who looked like total nerds and losers (well, for John Lovitz, that must have been a bit of a streeeeetch).
Everyone looked like they were Jonesing to act out. There was a speaker who talked about what it was like then and what it's like now. Something happened and no one could contain themselves any more. Chairs got knocked over as everyone went into 3 Stooges routines. Woo woo woo woo woo!
I can't find it on YouTube. If anyone can find it, please post a link.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
While sober (2 years, LOL) in northern Maine, I filled, completely filled, my gas burning 4 runner with Kerosene... About 60 dollars worth ... Thankfully there was a local who lives up in the mountains there who burns kerosene for heat and he helped me siphon it all out. I bought him a case of his favorite beer, miller lite, I think...
It would have been a very long day in the wilderness had he not been there.
It would have been a very long day in the wilderness had he not been there.
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