lmnt1080

Hello. I guess I would consider my self a poly substance abuser... it doesn't really matter what I take as long as it's something. This has been going on for about 10 years now. I'm in the depths of another binge and I'm just sick of feeling this way... sick of feeling unnatural.

I could use a little advice. I live with my dealer, who has also been my friend since about second grade (I'm 22 now). I love the guy. I don't want to ruin our relationship but I don't want to continue using while I live here. He's a very reasonable guy and a good friend. I assume the proper procedure is to nicely ask him never to sell to me again as a friend and spend these next two months going to NA meetings or something. We also have a school counselor.

I am graduating college in 2 months and going back home to my parents house. I haven't told them that I've relapsed (I quit for 3 months before.. what a wonderful time).. but I know I need to tell them when I come back home that I've relapsed. I also think they know something's up because I've been very depressed and anxious around them lately.

I'm not sure if I need inpatient, outpatient rehab, but I know I need to get out of the living situation I'm in right now. And my goal is to make it through the next two months completely clean. Any tips, thoughts, ideas?

Thank you for reading

quitforme79

welcome lmnt. Kudos to you for wanting to get clean again and take your life back. From your post, it seems as though you are close with your parents. Any way you can confide in them now? Maybe they can help you figure out your living situation until you graduate? Either way, you are not alone as long as you come here

artsoul

Welcome Imnt -

I feel for you....The first weeks of sobriety were the hardest for me. I'm not sure I could have stayed sober if I had alcohol around.

If you think you're friend will support your decision, you might be able to make it work temporarily. If not, then you know you have to take other steps.

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation and welcome to a great community!

lmnt1080

Thank you so much for your support guys. I will talk to my friend today. I think the real difference between today and my previous attempts to quit is that I'm really giving up my ego on this one. I don't think I can just "get better" by abstaining for a couple of months. I'm ready to work on it forever because I know I'm an addict.

So I'm joyful today! (No withdrawals or anything... so it's not too bad to not use)

Dee74

Hi and welcome lmnt1080

You'll find a lot of support here.

I smoked weed for 30 years. I was good friends with my dealer too...but I'm afraid
there was no way I could have lived with the guy when I was trying to go straight.

His life revolved around selling weed (and smoking it)...
I was trying to make my life about not having weed in my life...

there's a fatal disconnection there.

His demeanour really changed towards me too once he saw I was serious about going straight.

That was my first lesson in 'buddies' versus real friends.

I think you're right to want to move...I hope you can find some temporary accommodation - ask around on campus maybe?

I have no experience with rehab but if your campus has a health centre or counselling service or something, seeing them and asking their advice as to what options are open to you is probably not a bad idea either?

D