LeftLucy

I think I need to find some new friends who do not binge drink. I am not sure how to go about meeting new people, especially those who don’t drink who are in their 20's and 30's without kids. It is tough as an adult to make new friends, period - let alone people who fit the above description.

I posted previously about my binge drinking problem, but I recently fell back into the trap of "thinking I could limit myself."

Again, it is so frustrating to me. I don't drink often (2 or 3 times a month), but when I do, I just wish I could be drink normally without blacking out or doing something embarrassing. Are those 2 or 3 days really worth the internal torment and struggle this causes me? I would like to answer no, but my behaviors don't match my desired answer.

I am still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the only way to absolutely guarantee that I don't behave in a way that is unacceptable to me is to completely give up alcohol.

Natom

I know it's different that being a friend in 'real life' but I'll be your internet buddy. I'm quite friendly with a lot of people on here and we have each other on facebook etc. It's nice to have friends.

Sophiedog

You are in the right place and I am sure you will find new friends if you keep looking.
Keep the faith.

LeftLucy

Well, thank you! I could use all kinds of friends.

I have a lot of hobbies, like sports, reading, night-on-the-town activities, etc. However, it just always seems like alcohol is present when I go out with friends, family, and coworkers. It is just always there, tempting me to black out.

Basically, anything that I am invited to do with friends, I expect there to be drinking involved. And depending on the friends, probably lots of it. Bowling? Movies? Poker? Cards? Sports? All involved alcohol in my current social circle. I feel like I can’t even have a dinner party without be expected to provide alcohol.

I can be very charming (even when I am not drinking), and people generally like me. I have a great, supportive SO. He and I rack our brains to try to think of ways that I can make friends where alcohol will not be expected at activities. But, just not really coming up with ideas.

It just makes me very, very sad to think about not drinking ever again - like I am going to be losing a part of my life. Not only that, but maybe losing some friends in the process as well.

kam00096

How about joining a book group? I know in the uk there are loads of them attached to local libraries so you defi wouldn't have to worry about there being booze (just loads of tea and biscuits!!).

Anna

Volunteer.

Get out in your community and see what you can do to help out. You will meet lots of people and I doubt you'd find alcohol involved.

Volunteering saved me in my early days of recovery and it was the amazing friendships I made there that helped me to change my life.

LeftLucy

I library sponsored book club is a great idea! I am in a book club now, but it involves more wine than discourse.

I hadn't though about volunteering. There are some animal shelters nearby, that might be somewhere I could check out.

Fernaceman

Volunteering definitely sounds like a great idea. You will meet people who generally care about the community and doing it because it's the right thing to do.

Speaking of...I myself need to get with some volunteering. It has been strongly suggested I complete exactly 30 hours of it before next June...I was thinking of the food pantry myself but the animal shelter is also a great idea.

misterritter

Thanks. Made me laugh. I needed that.