Rubysoho

Hi
I'm having such a tricky one at work at the moment. They were initially understanding that I needed time off for detox. Since I've come back human resources have asked for me and my manager to come and see them so they can explain the drug and alcohol policy to me and inform me of 'consequences' if I don't stick to it.
I'm sober now. 2 months today to be exact. Why the **** do they think I need to know this now?! I NEVER drank at work. I made myself so ill every day waiting out the work day before I could start drinking again.
And there is a woman in my office who is obviously drinking in the day. But they feel the need to talk to me about drugs and alcohol AFTER I get sober. I am so angry!!! My boss refused the meeting so I now have to sign something to say I've read and understood the policy and it's 'consequences'. I am upset and offended. If I don't sign it, I get in trouble.
I feel like they're kicking me while I'm down. I'm angry and when I'm angry I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep I want to take drugs and drink.
Agh everything is spiralling cos of my stupid effing pride. ;-(
Sorry just needed to get that off my chest!

Dee74

Don't get angry.
Most likely they have a job to do, boxes to tick, follow ups to do and forms to full out.

Actually, I would have loved for someone to talk to me about my problem when I was working, Ruby, but noone gave a damn in the nineties, y'know?

D

Threshold

I understand your frustration, but for what it's worth, I suspect it's NOT personal. It's most likely a policy that they need to follow and a form they need to have on file to cover their own butts.

They probably have a requirement to inform you that the policy still holds and that you are subject to it, as is every employee, regardless of participating in a recovery program.

It can be extremely difficult to not take these sorts of policies etc personally when they hit close to home, but HR has their requirements that they must fulfill for their job, they are not allowed to pick and choose.

Rubysoho

I know its their job but I just feel like its them saying I've messed up. When I finally got the courage to get help. I didn't get this much hassle when I was a practicing alcoholic, I feel like they're picking on me. I know it sounds childish, but its going to take all my energy tomorrow not to tell them to shove their form :-( I also wish that stress didn't make me want to drink so much.

Dee74

All I can tell you to do is stamp your feet a little tonight - then go in there tomorrow head held high and fill out the forms

I know we can be very sensitive in early recovery - and most of us just want to make a clean start...but everyone of us will have some outstanding stuff to clean up....

It's *not* punishment Ruby, and their not trying to shame you - they're just doing their job. The paper trail is important for that.

You said they were very understanding...now maybe it's your turn?

D

Rubysoho

Thanks Dee. I've slept on it, and I'm still upset about it, but I'll sign whatever they want me to sign. It's not worth losing my job over.
It just seems absurd to me that they're warning me now, that I've quit. But yeah form fillling I guess.

pipparina

I oversea our HR dept, and I would bet there is a no drinking/drugs policy in place that all employees acknowledge just by reading. However, since you went for help, they may have to get you to sign something for insurance purposes, not to punish you. Insurance companies are big on crossing their Ts and dotting their I's.
I really don't this is directed at you. It more for the company to say they followed procedure

Hollyanne

Hi Ruby,
Standard procedure.
It is business.
It is called, "Barring the door after the horse has bolted". LOL
I can guarantee you, there is more than one person at work that has a drink problem.
And, due to the way things work, they will learn that it is "better" to keep it to themselves and let their lives fall apart completely than to go to the employer and say what is going on.

It is completely pointless and has nothing to do with you at all.
The person providing the form knows this, the boss knows this, you know this.
Just sign the dang form and keep moving.
2 months is fantastic.



It is legally necessary for the employer, therefore not completely pointless.
It will not help or hinder your sobriety unless you allow it.

Natom

I am just echoing what others have said. It is most likely all to do with ticking boxes and probably something to do with statistics along the line. Signing a bit of paper to keep your job is a small price to pay. When I went into rehab I couldn't take it as sick leave. I had to take it as a sabbatical. I took longer than I needed but there was no guarantee my job would be there when I got back. Luckily I decided not to work for them and got another job.

nonblondechef

Head up high, Ruby. I'm sending a prayer your way for strength and acceptance. Hang in there, don't let them get you down. You are doing amazing - keep it up! As you continue to grow and bloom in sobriety, it will be a fantastic "payback" for you to deliver cheerfully and graciously everyday at work. Don't get mad, get even. Don't let it phase you. Take care of you!! Hugs, NBC

Lost3000

Work issues suck in sobriety. I've definitely had my fair share. The one piece of advice I have, which others with more sobriety gave to me, was to just hang in there. Don't do anything rash. Just sign the dumb thing and move on. I really want to leave my job, but at 9 months sober I am feeling that such a drastic move might not be good for me. Things even out eventually, and as time goes by the whole sober thing blows over and they'll concentrate on someone else. Hang in there!!

Grace2

As the others here have said don't take it too personally, it is procedure. Exactly the same think would happen in my place of work.

The main thing is that you have been sober for two months and no one can take that away from you. Well done you. Be proud, hold your head up and keep doing what you're doing.

Rubysoho

Thank you everyone for your comments. I went to a meditation meeting after work today to try and calm down a bit. Now I've had a bit of time I can see what you're all saying. I will try my best not to take it personally. Yesterday I was thinking that all of HR were gossiping about me, and that they think i'm a bad person. But with a more rational head on my shoulders this evening I can see what you're saying. It's just someone doing their job. And I need to keep doing mine. Tomorrow when I go to work I will try my best to be calm and helpful. Thanks everyone for keeping me sane! You're all awesome!

Dee74

D

Zebra1275

Get over it!

It sounds like you are building up a resentment, which is a good way to end up drunk.

I speak from experience.

Grace2

Hey Ruby

I always find that any gossip at work is very short lived. The next event that happens in work, an arguement between colleagues, someone making a mistake, an accident, your incident will be forgotten about rapidly, believe me! That's life

Just keep your head down, do your work and carry on the way you are. You're doing brilliantly. xxxx

ThisStopsNow

Hey,

I am glad that you posted this. Recently, I admitted to my supervisor that I decided to take most of this week off because I am coming to terms with the fact that I have an alcohol problem. He was very supportive about it and concerned. He hops that I will deal with it well. So, I don't know if people higher up will find out about it (I kinda doubt it since he is a very supportive and good boss), but if they do, I am expecting to go through what you have. It's nice to see people's advice on what to do about it and why it happens. It's going to be rough if this happens but, I am confident that with my attitude, I won't take it personally and will view it as a chance to prove to them that I am changing as I say I will. Putting my words to action. In a way, it kinda helps if you know others are keeping an eye because then it feels like if you were to ever fail, it would bring a lot more dishonor than to just yourself.

Thanks for the helpful posts!

FreeFall

Ruby maybe they're talking to you now because it's out in the open now. I agree, they are probably just following procedure. I'm glad you can say you're sober now, and big congrats on 2 months!! Rant and rave here where you'll get support. Maybe you'll be an inspiration to the other woman that's drinking on the job...

Lost3000

Thanks OP for coming back to let us know how you are doing. I felt that way for awhile too, that everyone around me was gossiping. I guess I realized that it's not all about me, and that I was being a bit paranoid. Even if they are gossiping, so what? What's to say? OMG can you believe it, she quit drinking!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! Soon all this will feel like a distant memory.

MIRecovery

Do not sweat it. They gave you time off for detox, did not fire you and now they want you to jump through some HR hoops. HR has to cover their a$$ by basically saying, "You can not go back to your old ways without there being consequences." This is what HR does and it gives them something to do.

The only person you need to be responsible to is YOU! Stay sober and let HR be HR