Mammyof3boys

In dealing with my Moms upcoming PET scans. I allowed myself 1 drink on Friday night. And of course I was so proud of how well I handeled it, that sneaky feeling of maybe I'm ok again. maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
And guess what, you all know what happened, I rather quickly slipped back to not handling it and I got drunk last night.I'm so depressed today and also hung over. I don't even know how I could do this to myself physically. I have a pounding headache and a 1 year old with me. What a crappy day I have given to hm.

Working on getting through today. Which will probably be a lot easier than tomorrow because of this headache.

Please forgive me...

ford1967

It is a very sly demon it talks to us in our ear to make us belive every thing will be better now I can drink with no problem.
Keep on trying you can beat this and keep posting we will all be with you

Mammyof3boys

Thanks Ford1967. I do have to keep posting I seem to fail when I stop checking in.

misterritter

Yeah, posting and reading on SR has kept reinforcing why I am doing this, and what might happen if I don't.

Good luck and keep trying, that is the important part. And maybe think about what you will do differently this time.

Thepatman

I second misterritter, what can you differently to avoid falling back in the pattern is the question to ask yourself.

Mammyof3boys

I'm not sure. I guess that's also why I'm posting. Other days I am so happy and proud I don't drink anymore. And other days I miss it, I honestly do.
I have talked myself out of it. I'm just so afraid of tomorrow.

las75

Its sooo hard! I have 3 kids myself and feel like such a let down for them when I give in and feel like crap the next day.

Hooped

I can relate as I messed up myself and drank pretty well the whole weekend away.
We can't beat ourselves up over it though.
The important thing is to try again, dont give up, you will be a better mother and a better daughter if you are sober.

Thepatman

One thing that helped me a bit mabe it will help you also. Have you ever asked yourself if you would drink poison knowing that it won't kill you right away but for sure in a few years.

Alchool is no different, it will eventually kill you.

Zee

I have liver disease. I also regard alcohol as poison now. If it hadn't been for SR I'd be another statistic by now!!! It can get physical pretty quickly... I found out, very painful!!! Stay on SR... best place to hold yourself accountable

427

Hey, I know about it.... Did it after 2 weeks and was beating myself up for it. But everyone here reassured me that I wasn't alone, that ya just keep on keepin on, and keep that goal in sight. I struggle with it, too (Am I or am I not?), but guess we wouldn't be on here if we weren't. Remember the hangover and the feeling right now the next time you think of having that "one". Wishing you the best!

Thepatman

Love your Avatar 427!

homeefrii218

You are not alone! Most of us relapse! I did and now Im 16 days back and loving life. Accept life as a gift, accept your 1 year old as a gift. I know you'll be able to get sober and stay sober, i know it! Just believe in yourself and your higher power. I'm praying for you.

Dee74

welcome back mammy (you too Hooped)

I'm a big believer in the idea if we don't do something different we're likely to end up doing the same.

No matter what it is whether it's posting more here (before you get into trouble) and joining a thread like the October thread, or checking out AA SMART Rational Recovery or some other support programme, or some kind of counselling, inpatient or outpatient rehab, just seeing your Dr and coming clean there...or any other of a dozen more suggestions...

there's many things you could add

It's your recovery. You'll get out of it what you put into it

I hope everything goes ok with your mom Mammy
D

Mammyof3boys

Thanks for all your support and kind words. I've checked out the AA websites for meetings a few times. I always say I'm going to go, but I'm scared. I really am.

Pondlady

Good to hear from you again Mammy. Give yourself and your son, a better day tomorrow. Don't let your fear add misery to your life.

Dee74

I recommend reading this thread Mammy

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...age-go-aa.html

D

Delilah1

I am the mother of three too, and it is a big job. I have failed them and me many times. I am on day 11 right now and I have been on SR daily. I also have gone to my doctor and I am meeting with a counselor weekly.

You can't focus on yesterday, just move forward and forgive yourself. I really liked the principles on Women in Sobriety. I am using them to journal and to move forward.

Keep posting and reading, it has helped me.

debsam

I too was afraid to go to AA but you know, I was MORE afraid of living my life the way I was...get freighted toward the right direction.

How bad do you want. to be free of alcohol? I know i was willing to try anything.

I really really hope you decide to give a meeting a go. You don't have to feel like this anymore MOF3... You really don't...

MythOfSisyphus

The AV is crafty! It has lots of tricks up its sleeve to fool us into complacency, ultimately so we drink again. No shame in slipping, just try to do better next time!