Beccajane

Well, I have decided to become sober as of today. Scared. Scared that I can not do it. I have been a heavy drinker for 10+ years. About 4 nights a week and about 16 beers, wine, whatever. I am a mother of 2 beautiful children and I love them so much. I have to do this. I am fed up with my actions as a result of drinking. From engaging in promiscuous sex to driving, fighting etc. I am 32 years old. I believe that my boyfriend of 2 years is also contemplating leaving me because he is fed up. I can't take doing this to myself and them anymore. I really really need to do this. I am better than this. I have said before that I am quitting and haven't so I can't even tell my boyfriend that I am because he won't believe me. I got a DUI in January and lost my job of 7 years as a result. I start a new job tomorrow. I am so scared and hope that I have the confidence and the know to do it. You know- a few days goes by and you start to feel really good and you just want to slam a few beers? It seems my willpower ends there.

pipparina

welcome to SR, and congratulations on your decision to become sober. Don't worry about tomorrow or the next day. Just don't drink tonight. This site has some amazing people that are or were in your shoes, and managed to stop drinking, get sober, and are living happy lives. You can do that to.
Of course it is scary at first, but you have good company here with people who know exactly what you are feeling.

Do you have any other source of recovery? AA meetings or some other type of support?

trikuza

Don't be scared, just do your best to make progress. Instead of expecting everything to go perfectly, learn from your mistakes every week. Also, learn from others on this site that have gone through the same thing.

I blew 22 days of sobriety this weekend when i went to a party. I feel like I let myself down and it sucks that I am back to day 2, but im gonna try harder this time!

Dee74

welcome to SR beccajane

being part of this community kept me focused and reminded me of the reasons I wanted and needed to change.

I hope we can do that for you too

D

artsoul

Welcome Beccajane!

I didn't know if I could get sober either. Just thinking about it terrified me - I think most of us felt that way at first. It turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

Glad you're here - this place helped me get my life back.

misterritter

Welcome Beccajane,

I know how you felt. I felt that way a couple of weeks ago. I gave it a lot of thought and realized that alcohol was only hurting me when I looked at it objectively. That made the decision easy for me. And it has been hard at times, but I don't regret quitting and I feel better about myself mentally and physically.

Good luck to you and keep posting and reading here, it has helped me a lot.

Hevyn

Hi beccajane! We're so glad to have you join the family. Being here will give you hope and inspiration. It helped me stop drinking after a lifetime.

You're only 32 and have a whole life ahead - it's great that you're seeing now what needs to be done. I wish I had! I went on drinking into my 50's and created a nightmare for myself. This won't be you. Congratulations on reaching out for a new life.

least

Welcome to the family! I hope we can be as much help to you as this site has been to me.

Beccajane

Thank you ALL! I am so glad that I found this today. I already feel better knowing that three are people that have been there and I can come here when I feel I need more. Pipp- I do not have any other resources at this time. I did go to an AA meeting to see what it was like back in March. I did not like it at all. I did not feel as if I could relate. I felt really uncomfortable. I just keep praying that I can do this. So scared of that moment when I want to drink. I did last night so I don't feel like it at all today.

Beccajane

Sorry! I hope day 3 goes just as good as day 1 and 2! I know this is going to be hard.

pipparina

You're in a safe place here, with lots of experience. You can do it if you ask for help. And some of us are always on the site, ready to help.

freshstart57

Hi BeccaJane, welcome to SR and glad to see you here. There is a lot of support for you from some very nice folks indeed who have been through all of it and come back to share with others just starting their sobriety journey. It helps us to help you.

So, first off, it is really great that you have decided to quit drinking, but you are going to need a plan. What is it that you are going to do? What is going to help you do this? What is going to make it hard for you quit drinking? You need to decide which things you need more of and which things you need less.

Please understand that most people who quit drinking do it without any program of any kind, we just don't hear from them much. I guess they are busy, you know, doing life and stuff.

AA has helped a lot of people, especially those who are down in the dumps spiritually, but there are other choices for you, alternatives to AA and other 12 step programs. You could start by googling 'AA alternatives' or by visiting SoberRecovery's Secular Connections forum. Rational Recovery, SMART, LifeRing, SaveOurSelves, CBT and others are evidence based approaches that empower and teach life skills. You might find that one of these fits you well.

So, there is a choice for you to make, but there is really no choice at all about continuing to drink. Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?

Tres

Hi Becca, welcome!

Im a mom too and decided last Halloween I was done. I had tried many times before and it didn't work. I am almost at a year! I still come here onSR nearly everyday. This site is wonderful. Read as much as you can. And make plans to keep yourself busy.

It is hard early on, and so easy to give in. Just don't. Come here. Everyday will get easier.

I did start going to AA after 6 months because I need some face to face time with other women who understood me. It was a Godsend. I just go to the women's meetings. I feel very at home there.

Good luck and take it one day at a time.

Beccajane

The plan I have so far is to focus on my family and do activities that I use to do. Like exercise, tennis, go for walks, do crafts. I also plan to focus on my health. I lost about 90 pounds over the past 4 years and want to feel that healthy, energized feeling once again. I am going to focus on NOT spending money (on alcohol) because I eventually want to buy a house. I am actually excited to complete tasks required everyday. I want to feel proud. I want to be monogamous. I want to be the person I know I can be. I am strong.

freshstart57

BeccaJane, the excitement you are feeling can be a huge feeling of relief as well when you understand that all of that horrible stuff that we as addicts have done is now firmly in the past. You never have to feel that way again.
I think our brains get motivated more easily to do positive things, rather than not doing negative things. Take a look at 30 Great Reasons to Quit Drinking Alcohol, there is some good stuff there.

You can start feeling proud right now. This is a brave and courageous thing you are doing, Becca. Keep posting because there is a lot of support for you here. Onward!

fallingtogether

Hi becca! Welcome to the group! I could have almost written that post. It looks like you have some awesome Motivators to get you where you want to be. You might also want to take a look at what made your drink like that and deal with it. I know that learning about my alcoholism is a major factor in my recovery. Replacing my drinking time with other activities never got me sober. But living life on life's terms has. It's not the easiest of all processes, but then again neither was the cycle of my drinking! For me, It was a choice between my family or my booze, my life or death, the emotional roller coaster that alcohol played in my life needed to happen, so I could appreciate what true happiness is all about! My best advice: don't try this on your own! Seek help from family, friends, doctor, aa, whatever you need. You deserve happiness and your kids deserve a happy, sober mom.

FreeFall

Welcome to SR-you have lots of company in the struggle against addiction! I'm so glad you decided to quit-it will be a much better life for your kids to have a sober mom!! I think you'll feel a sense of relief when drinking is out of your life-no more chaos, self loathing, trying to remember things you can't, etc.

Right now, SR is my plan, and it's worked for 3 months. AA has helped a ton of people here regain their lives. It's good to have a plan, because there will be many days where it seems really hard and you don't have any willpower left. The plan can help you get through them successfully. You have to break the cycle of the minute the hangover wears off and you feel good again you pick up a drink and expect different results. Best of luck!

Beccajane

Thank you Everyone. I did not drink yesterday, nor will I today. I have so many more important things to do! Still frustrated with the way things are going but I can not let that deter me from staying sober, it would be easier to drink it away but I am stronger than that and am gaining my fight back. I lost my cleaning job of 8 years last night to a low baller which paid my rent. The new job I have is 52 hours on a salary of 500 a week. Finding child care is tough and I won't see my kids very much. BUT for now I have to do what I have to do.

Beccajane

Does anyone know of links to alcoholism from Manic Depression or Bipolor disorder? Or does anyone have that? I am curious if it may be a partial root...

MIRecovery

I do know that alcoholism and other mental health disorders go hand in hand. Many of us have tried to treat the under lying condition with alcohol and ended up not fixing the disorder and being alcoholic